Wedding Etiquette Forum

Timing on the Invitation

What is the proper timing to put on your invitation. For instance, if you expect your ceremony to START at 5;30, would you write 5:30 or like 5. I'm just concerned about people trying to walk in during the processional. (especially cause FIs extended family runs REALLY REALLY I'm talking 2 hours sometimes, late), and I dont want someone trying to come in and sit down during the ceremony and cause a lot of commotion. 

Re: Timing on the Invitation

  • Put the time you will walk down the aisle. If someone comes in late, they can wait in the back until the processional is done. It's not fair to people who get there on time to start a half hour later.
  • Thank you guys! I haven't been to that many weddings, but the ones I have been too it always seems like they put a time much earlier than what time the ceremony actually starts (which always seemed rude to me too...) which is why I asked, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing some rule that says the start time is different than the invitation time. 
  • The only exception I can think of is if you are having a musician playing for any amount of time before the parents are seated.  I have seen several invitations that say "Music starts at X:00, Ceremony starts at X:30".  That lets your guests know there will be entertainment before the ceremony itself starts.
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  • You're not missing a rule. Just state what time you intend the ceremony to begin, and try your hardest to start the ceremony on time. It's totally doable.
  • The ceremony should start right at the advertised start time. If anyone shows up late, then they are held back by ushers until there is a "natural break" in the action. Consult with your officiant and determine certain natural break points, suitable for seating latecomers. Inform the ushers, and then relax. Experienced officiants see this all the time.

    If you have chronic late arrivers in the family see if you can spread by word of mouth that you intended to start punctually, on the dot. "We can't wait to get married! We are starting right on time, so you snooze, you lose."

    It is rude to make punctual guests sit and wait for latecomers.

    If there is a legitimate reason many guests are late (massive traffic tie-up, bad weather, etc), then the officiant should come out at the advertised start time and announce that due to whatever reason, the wedding will start X time later. That lets your punctual guests get up, walk around, call the sitter, get a drink of water, have a nice yak with other guests, stretch their legs, have a smoke, etc, then be back in their seats at the new advertised time. The airlines do that when a flight is delayed, you can too.
  • Put the actual time. I would be so pissed if I arrived 15 mins early, only to realize it's actual 45 minutes to wait. 

    Can you hire a high school kid to stand outside to door during the ceremony and only let people in after a clear window when the processional is through?
  • Always use the actual start time of the ceremony.  Don't make your guests wait-that's very inconsiderate and rude.
  • You put the time as the time the ceremony will start.
    If people are late, they stand in the back. Are any of your friends rude enough to barrel down the aisle while you are walking down it? I hope not.

    Haha funny that you say that. I was actually in a wedding a few months ago, and one of the brides friends was late. She just moseyed her way in, and walked down the aisle to her seat as if she were a part of the processional. So rude.

    I also recently went to a wedding where they wrote on the invite to arrive an hour early. Well, I was pretty pissed that we stood around for an hour (with no chairs) waiting for the ceremony to start.
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2013
    You can always have your wedding coordinator (assuming you have one, and if you don't, it may be a good idea to hire a DOC) hold people back at the door while the processional is happening.  They can be quietly seated in the back after everyone is up front.
  • jss0302 said:

    Put the time the ceremony actually begins. It's pretty rude to make people who show up on time, or early, wait. I'd be pretty pissed if I showed up 45 minutes early because someone didn't trust that I could get myself there on time.

    ETA: This actually happened to me last summer. The bride put the start time thirty minutes before she actually planned on starting. She ended up running almost twenty minutes late. The wedding was outside, in August, without a tree, shade, fan, or drink in site. I was a hot, sweaty, thirsty mess by the time the ceremony actually started.

    This makes me wonder if those wedding shows where the guests are kept waiting for an hour were really something like this. Please don't do this, I already show up 30 minutes early for a wedding, I don't want to have to wait another 30-45 minutes.
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  • ashleyep said:
     
    This makes me wonder if those wedding shows where the guests are kept waiting for an hour were really something like this. Please don't do this, I already show up 30 minutes early for a wedding, I don't want to have to wait another 30-45 minutes.

    The wedding shows are carefully edited for maximum entertainment value and ratings. They do not reflect "reality".
  • You put the time as the time the ceremony will start.
    If people are late, they stand in the back. Are any of your friends rude enough to barrel down the aisle while you are walking down it? I hope not.
    One of my good friends got married in October.  It was a smallish wedding in a small setting.  A couple walked in literally as the bride had lined up with her father to walk down the aisle.  These idiots WALKED IN FRONT OF THE BRIDE and walked (leisurely, I might add) down the aisle AS THE WEDDING MARCH was playing and continued to ask other guests "Are those seats taken?"

    I was mortified for the bride.  
  • My invites say that the ceremony begins at 5pm. If my guests can't get there and parked by 4:50 then they'll have to wait and sneak in. They are adults, or will be accompanied by them, so I'm sure they can work out how to be a little early to ensure they're on time.

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