Wedding Party

2 Year Old son as Ring Bearer?

So, I really would like to see my son (whom is two years old) as the ring bearer for the wedding. He's not me and my FI's son, but I'd still like to include him in our wedding because we will be a family afterwards. Yet, my son is a bit rambunctious and doesn't like to sit still very much (which I know is very common in little kids obviously). He's also a people baby as I call it, in which, he LOVES new people, will go up to anyone and everyone no matter what. So when I think about him trying to walk down the aisle, I just get this bad feeling he'll veer off and try to go say hi to everyone and hug them and not pay attention to what he's doing. I'd just like to get some advice on this, especially from others who have had young children in their wedding and how it went for them. Honestly, he's the only young boy we have in the family that would work. Has anyone else used a family member that was older instead? I do have an older brother who helped deliver me when I was born (he was 10 and I was born at my house) and I know if I'm not having him in it otherwise, he might be the only other option... Please help I'd really appreciate it.

Re: 2 Year Old son as Ring Bearer?

  • edited July 2013
    Typically, the advice folks will give you here is that they're old enough to participate if they're old enough to explain back to you what their job is and why it's important.  Two is typically kind of young for that, though I've known some precocious toddlers who might have been able to pull it off.  But it sounds like your son is maybe a little too easily distracted for that yet.  You could maybe have your older brother carry your son down the aisle, and then sit with him during the ceremony.  But it's not appropriate to ask a grown man to do a child's role outright (if I'm reading you right and you're thinking of asking your brother to be your ring bearer).  If you want to include him, you can ask him to be a bridesman or do a reading.

    But you don't have to have a ring bearer at all, you know.  The best man or officiant always carries the actual rings, even if you DO have a ring bearer- you don't give valuable jewelry to a little kid!  The ring bearer usually just carries fake plastic ones.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Yeah, I knew that the rings are kept elsewhere, I just really wanted the ring bearer role because I have a girl in the family that will be the flower girl, and I feel weird having one but not the other. I know its not appropriate to ask my older brother to do that since it is considered a childs place for it, but being there is no one else in my family, and my brother and I have always been close, I'm sure he might not mind if the situation arose. I would obviously give the role a different name, maybe like Ring Guarder, since he always was very protective of me LOL but idk... I would just think that I shouldnt have one without the other. And I'd hate to have to tell my FG mother that I want to reconsider her daughter being a FG.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would not use a 2 year old as ring bearer.  In fact, I'd limit his "role" to being in pictures.

    You don't need a ring bearer.  If there is nobody available of the appropriate age (I'd say 3 to 7) then just don't have one.  Your brother can be a groomsman, bridesman, reader, or guest.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We had a ring bearer and no flower girl, so that's not a big deal having one and not the other. I think 2 is too young for having a role in a wedding. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • edited July 2013

     

    Yeah, I knew that the rings are kept elsewhere, I just really wanted the ring bearer role because I have a girl in the family that will be the flower girl, and I feel weird having one but not the other. I know its not appropriate to ask my older brother to do that since it is considered a childs place for it, but being there is no one else in my family, and my brother and I have always been close, I'm sure he might not mind if the situation arose. I would obviously give the role a different name, maybe like Ring Guarder, since he always was very protective of me LOL but idk... I would just think that I shouldnt have one without the other. And I'd hate to have to tell my FG mother that I want to reconsider her daughter being a FG.
    Ok, I get the misunderstanding here.  You definitely don't have to have a ring bearer to have a flower girl.  Your child attendants need to match up even less than your adult attendants do.  I would say that about 50% of weddings I've been to have had no child attendants at all, 40% have had just a flower girl (or two flower girls) but no ring bearer, and maybe 10% have had a ring bearer and a flower girl.  (None have had just a ring bearer.)  I was a flower girl twice as a kid, and neither time was there a ring bearer.  It is just so, so common to have a flower girl but no ring bearer.  (Definitely way more common than the reverse, which I'm guessing is because little girls are way more likely to want to get dressed up all fancy and participate than little boys are.)  It is completely normal to just have a flower girl and not a ring bearer- like I said, at least in the past couple years of weddings I've been to, actually way more common than having both.
  • My ringer bearer is going to be 4 at the time of the wedding and we're not even sure he will make it down the aisle, although he says he's excited! He's very shy, so we'll see what happens. I'd love for his 2 year old sister to be a flower girl along with FI's neice, but she's also "rambunctious" and has your typical 2-year old attention span. I also think 2 is just too young to expect them to participate in the wedding.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    You should dress your son up, call him your ring bearer, take lots of pictures with him and not expect much from him. Two year olds can't understand the significance of a wedding and they're unpredictable. You'll have to go with the flow. If your little one is in a cooperative mood on the big day, you or another trusted adult should hold his hand and walk him down the aisle. Let him sit with his grandparents or favorite relative for the ceremony. It would also be a good idea to hire a sitter that can take him to a quiet place in case he acts up. 
                       
    Peledreamsofrain
  • My sister had a flower girl and no ring bearer. We're not having either. But my sisters wedding went fine without a ring bearer :)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • We are having two ring bearers (our nephews who are 3 and 4) but no flower girl.  If my nephew was only going to be 2, I probably wouldn't have him because I don't think he would make it down the aisle.  He is more independent at 3, so we are going to still try!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My two boys were ring bearers last year at my brothers wedding, they were 1 and 2.  They were so cute and everyone loved watching them walk down.  My dad started them down the isle, but some how they just knew what to do, they strutted and posed for the cameras it was so cute and they did so well!  My sister inlaw had brought a couple of bags with treats and activities for them once they made it down the isle, they didn't sit perfectly, but they certainly did not ruin the wedding, they made it better!!  I plan on having my babies walk down as ring bearers for my wedding next year, they will be 3 and 4. It will not be a big deal to me if they do not walk down perfectly, they are our babies and they have to be a part of our day.  If you are worried about your son being rambunctious, have someone walk him down.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited July 2013
    My two boys were ring bearers last year at my brothers wedding, they were 1 and 2.  They were so cute and everyone loved watching them walk down.  My dad started them down the isle, but some how they just knew what to do, they strutted and posed for the cameras it was so cute and they did so well!  My sister inlaw had brought a couple of bags with treats and activities for them once they made it down the isle, they didn't sit perfectly, but they certainly did not ruin the wedding, they made it better!!  I plan on having my babies walk down as ring bearers for my wedding next year, they will be 3 and 4. It will not be a big deal to me if they do not walk down perfectly, they are our babies and they have to be a part of our day.  If you are worried about your son being rambunctious, have someone walk him down.


    Not good advice.  2 year olds and younger are not old enough to be ring bearers.  There are times and places where it's okay for a kid to be "rambunctious," but a wedding ceremony is not it, and having someone walk him down will probably not only not make that kid un-rambunctious, but it will make things worse.  If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on his own due to age, s/he shouldn't be in the wedding.

    They aren't old enough to understand what's going on and often can't handle breaks in routine well, with lots of unfamiliar people, no nap times or nap times coming at irregular times, and other anomalies they don't normally handle.  And meltdowns, chewing on things they are not supposed to be chewing on, throwing things, refusing to do what they're supposed to do, are not cute.  Niki&rob were lucky that their ring bearer didn't act out, but couples can't count on that kind of luck.
  • You should dress your son up, call him your ring bearer, take lots of pictures with him and not expect much from him. Two year olds can't understand the significance of a wedding and they're unpredictable. You'll have to go with the flow. If your little one is in a cooperative mood on the big day, you or another trusted adult should hold his hand and walk him down the aisle. Let him sit with his grandparents or favorite relative for the ceremony. It would also be a good idea to hire a sitter that can take him to a quiet place in case he acts up. 
    This is similar to what I was going to say. Obviously he is the most important kid in your life so you want him included, so just don't expect much from him. Maybe he would like walking down the aisle with you? Or maybe he won't end up wanting to walk down the aisle at all. I think if you are okay with whatever he's up for and prepared for it, you can call him whatever you want.

    But if him not walking straight down the aisle and sitting quietly would upset you, just don't have a ring bearer. You definitely don't need both, and definitely don't kick the flower girl out either!

    We are having all of our nieces and nephews in our wedding (not really sure what to call them since we want our daughter to be the ring bearer (actually carrying the rings and bringing them to us in the ceremony, but she's older)). We asked them all if they wanted to be in it (asked their parents first of course), they all said they did. Some of them are too young to really get it but if the big kids are doing it, they want to too. We also told them (and their parents) that they can change their mind any time, even if it's 2 minutes before the ceremony. And we have plans and people ready to deal with that possibility, and if someone makes a detour or gets upset halfway down the aisle, we'll laugh and it will be a cute story later. But I wouldn't have done it this way if that would have bothered me, because it's VERY likely to happen with young kids.
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  • Jen4948 said:
    My two boys were ring bearers last year at my brothers wedding, they were 1 and 2.  They were so cute and everyone loved watching them walk down.  My dad started them down the isle, but some how they just knew what to do, they strutted and posed for the cameras it was so cute and they did so well!  My sister inlaw had brought a couple of bags with treats and activities for them once they made it down the isle, they didn't sit perfectly, but they certainly did not ruin the wedding, they made it better!!  I plan on having my babies walk down as ring bearers for my wedding next year, they will be 3 and 4. It will not be a big deal to me if they do not walk down perfectly, they are our babies and they have to be a part of our day.  If you are worried about your son being rambunctious, have someone walk him down.


    Not good advice.  2 year olds and younger are not old enough to be ring bearers.  There are times and places where it's okay for a kid to be "rambunctious," but a wedding ceremony is not it, and having someone walk him down will probably not only not make that kid un-rambunctious, but it will make things worse.  If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on his own due to age, s/he shouldn't be in the wedding.

    They aren't old enough to understand what's going on and often can't handle breaks in routine well, with lots of unfamiliar people, no nap times or nap times coming at irregular times, and other anomalies they don't normally handle.  And meltdowns, chewing on things they are not supposed to be chewing on, throwing things, refusing to do what they're supposed to do, are not cute.  Niki&rob were lucky that their ring bearer didn't act out, but couples can't count on that kind of luck.

    Jen4948 said:
    My two boys were ring bearers last year at my brothers wedding, they were 1 and 2.  They were so cute and everyone loved watching them walk down.  My dad started them down the isle, but some how they just knew what to do, they strutted and posed for the cameras it was so cute and they did so well!  My sister inlaw had brought a couple of bags with treats and activities for them once they made it down the isle, they didn't sit perfectly, but they certainly did not ruin the wedding, they made it better!!  I plan on having my babies walk down as ring bearers for my wedding next year, they will be 3 and 4. It will not be a big deal to me if they do not walk down perfectly, they are our babies and they have to be a part of our day.  If you are worried about your son being rambunctious, have someone walk him down.


    Not good advice.  2 year olds and younger are not old enough to be ring bearers.  There are times and places where it's okay for a kid to be "rambunctious," but a wedding ceremony is not it, and having someone walk him down will probably not only not make that kid un-rambunctious, but it will make things worse.  If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on his own due to age, s/he shouldn't be in the wedding.

    They aren't old enough to understand what's going on and often can't handle breaks in routine well, with lots of unfamiliar people, no nap times or nap times coming at irregular times, and other anomalies they don't normally handle.  And meltdowns, chewing on things they are not supposed to be chewing on, throwing things, refusing to do what they're supposed to do, are not cute.  Niki&rob were lucky that their ring bearer didn't act out, but couples can't count on that kind of luck.
    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited July 2013
    niki&rob said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My two boys were ring bearers last year at my brothers wedding, they were 1 and 2.  They were so cute and everyone loved watching them walk down.  My dad started them down the isle, but some how they just knew what to do, they strutted and posed for the cameras it was so cute and they did so well!  My sister inlaw had brought a couple of bags with treats and activities for them once they made it down the isle, they didn't sit perfectly, but they certainly did not ruin the wedding, they made it better!!  I plan on having my babies walk down as ring bearers for my wedding next year, they will be 3 and 4. It will not be a big deal to me if they do not walk down perfectly, they are our babies and they have to be a part of our day.  If you are worried about your son being rambunctious, have someone walk him down.


    Not good advice.  2 year olds and younger are not old enough to be ring bearers.  There are times and places where it's okay for a kid to be "rambunctious," but a wedding ceremony is not it, and having someone walk him down will probably not only not make that kid un-rambunctious, but it will make things worse.  If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on his own due to age, s/he shouldn't be in the wedding.

    They aren't old enough to understand what's going on and often can't handle breaks in routine well, with lots of unfamiliar people, no nap times or nap times coming at irregular times, and other anomalies they don't normally handle.  And meltdowns, chewing on things they are not supposed to be chewing on, throwing things, refusing to do what they're supposed to do, are not cute.  Niki&rob were lucky that their ring bearer didn't act out, but couples can't count on that kind of luck.

    Jen4948 said:
    My two boys were ring bearers last year at my brothers wedding, they were 1 and 2.  They were so cute and everyone loved watching them walk down.  My dad started them down the isle, but some how they just knew what to do, they strutted and posed for the cameras it was so cute and they did so well!  My sister inlaw had brought a couple of bags with treats and activities for them once they made it down the isle, they didn't sit perfectly, but they certainly did not ruin the wedding, they made it better!!  I plan on having my babies walk down as ring bearers for my wedding next year, they will be 3 and 4. It will not be a big deal to me if they do not walk down perfectly, they are our babies and they have to be a part of our day.  If you are worried about your son being rambunctious, have someone walk him down.


    Not good advice.  2 year olds and younger are not old enough to be ring bearers.  There are times and places where it's okay for a kid to be "rambunctious," but a wedding ceremony is not it, and having someone walk him down will probably not only not make that kid un-rambunctious, but it will make things worse.  If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on his own due to age, s/he shouldn't be in the wedding.

    They aren't old enough to understand what's going on and often can't handle breaks in routine well, with lots of unfamiliar people, no nap times or nap times coming at irregular times, and other anomalies they don't normally handle.  And meltdowns, chewing on things they are not supposed to be chewing on, throwing things, refusing to do what they're supposed to do, are not cute.  Niki&rob were lucky that their ring bearer didn't act out, but couples can't count on that kind of luck.
    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
    Whether or not I'm a parent is neither your business nor relevant to the issue of whether or not kids under 3 should participate in wedding ceremonies.  For that matter, neither is their "cuteness."  What is relevant is whether or not they understand what's expected of them and can carry it out on their own without having a meltdown or other inappropriate behavior.
    TheVirginiansPrettyGirlLostmanateehugger

  • you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!



    You don't have to be a parent to give an opinion when someone asks for advice. I love kids, I want my own soon, but to think that everyone should think all kids (including yours) are cute just because you think so is absurd. Your post reminds me of something I would see on the STFU Parents Facebook page.

    TheVirginiansPrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948 said:
    niki&rob said:
    Jen4948 said:
     

    Jen4948 said:
     
    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
    Whether or not I'm a parent is neither your business nor relevant to the issue of whether or not kids under 3 should participate in wedding ceremonies.  For that matter, neither is their "cuteness."  What is relevant is whether or not they understand what's expected of them and can carry it out on their own without having a meltdown or other inappropriate behavior.

    What responsibilities do you think a ring bearer has?  No one I know lets their rings walk down with any age of child, so what are they there for? I will tell you why, they are important to the bride and groom, they are cute all dressed up and they add a little entertainment to your ceremony.  I have never seen a young child have a melt down at a wedding ceremony either. Im done with this conversation, 20 yr olds without kids don't have a clue, so I won't argue any further.
  • Weezy56 said:
    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!

    You don't have to be a parent to give an opinion when someone asks for advice. I love kids, I want my own soon, but to think that everyone should think all kids (including yours) are cute just because you think so is absurd. Your post reminds me of something I would see on the STFU Parents Facebook page.

    talk to me when you have kids

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    niki&rob said:
    Jen4948 said:
    niki&rob said:
    Jen4948 said:
     

    Jen4948 said:
     
    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
    Whether or not I'm a parent is neither your business nor relevant to the issue of whether or not kids under 3 should participate in wedding ceremonies.  For that matter, neither is their "cuteness."  What is relevant is whether or not they understand what's expected of them and can carry it out on their own without having a meltdown or other inappropriate behavior.

    What responsibilities do you think a ring bearer has?  No one I know lets their rings walk down with any age of child, so what are they there for? I will tell you why, they are important to the bride and groom, they are cute all dressed up and they add a little entertainment to your ceremony.  I have never seen a young child have a melt down at a wedding ceremony either. Im done with this conversation, 20 yr olds without kids don't have a clue, so I won't argue any further.
    I'm also older than 20.  It's none of your business how old I am or whether or not I have kids.  I am entitled to my opinion either way.

    When one posts on an Internet forum, especially an etiquette one, everyone is entitled to reply.  My opinion holds just as much value as yours does, and yours is not the only one that counts because you are or aren't a parent.  So stop attacking me because I disagree with you.
    MairePoppy
  • niki&rob said:


    Weezy56 said:


    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!




    You don't have to be a parent to give an opinion when someone asks for advice. I love kids, I want my own soon, but to think that everyone should think all kids (including yours) are cute just because you think so is absurd. Your post reminds me of something I would see on the STFU Parents Facebook page.




    talk to me when you have kids


    Nope, my opinion counts just like anyone else's, kids or no kids. Sorry.

    MairePoppy
  • Could your brother carry him down the aisle?

    Also I don't have kids, and at the last wedding I went to one of the 3 year old flower girls had a fit in the middle of the aisle. Screaming, crying, lying on the ground, had the be removed.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    niki&rob said:

    Jen4948 said:
    My two boys were ring bearers last year at my brothers wedding, they were 1 and 2.  They were so cute and everyone loved watching them walk down.  My dad started them down the isle, but some how they just knew what to do, they strutted and posed for the cameras it was so cute and they did so well!  My sister inlaw had brought a couple of bags with treats and activities for them once they made it down the isle, they didn't sit perfectly, but they certainly did not ruin the wedding, they made it better!!  I plan on having my babies walk down as ring bearers for my wedding next year, they will be 3 and 4. It will not be a big deal to me if they do not walk down perfectly, they are our babies and they have to be a part of our day.  If you are worried about your son being rambunctious, have someone walk him down.


    Not good advice.  2 year olds and younger are not old enough to be ring bearers.  There are times and places where it's okay for a kid to be "rambunctious," but a wedding ceremony is not it, and having someone walk him down will probably not only not make that kid un-rambunctious, but it will make things worse.  If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on his own due to age, s/he shouldn't be in the wedding.

    They aren't old enough to understand what's going on and often can't handle breaks in routine well, with lots of unfamiliar people, no nap times or nap times coming at irregular times, and other anomalies they don't normally handle.  And meltdowns, chewing on things they are not supposed to be chewing on, throwing things, refusing to do what they're supposed to do, are not cute.  Niki&rob were lucky that their ring bearer didn't act out, but couples can't count on that kind of luck.
    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
    Wow really?

    I'm sorry, but I can't stand sanctimonious shit like this from parents.  I'm not a parent either, but I have critical thinking skills and experience observing children in action.

    Kids have tantrums, especially toddlers.  You don't need to be a parent to understand that.  That's all Jen was trying to get across. . . I think it was Jen, the quoting is messed up on my computer.

    I think it's great that you had a good experience with young children in the wedding you mentioned, but many times things don't quite work out that way with young kids involved. 

    That is why my church and several others in my area state in their wedding info that they do not recommend children younger than the age of 5 to participate in the ceremony.  That's why other PP's have given a similar opinion.

     

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Weezy56 said:
    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
    You don't have to be a parent to give an opinion when someone asks for advice. I love kids, I want my own soon, but to think that everyone should think all kids (including yours) are cute just because you think so is absurd. Your post reminds me of something I would see on the STFU Parents Facebook page.

    @Weezy56 maybe we should screencap and submit?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • niki&rob said:

    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
    --------------------------------------------
    I would definitely mind if there was a child in the middle of my aisle THE WHOLE CEREMONY making faces at the camera. I would never say anything, but I'd be thinking, "Why doesn't this kid's mother have the respect and decency to pick the kid up and bring him back to his seat or outside?" Why didn't you, by the way? 

    I do agree that it is a bit different for OP since it is her own kid though. I'd either have someone who can scoop him up if he isn't cooperating or not have a ring bearer. It's not required. Also, since he is your kid, I don't really see the big deal in letting him stop in the aisle saying hi. Typically, only the bride and groom would have cause to be annoyed by a child doing that, and since it is her child, I don't think that's likely.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I wouldn't recommend having a two year old as part of the ceremony unless you are fully prepared for him or her to refuse at the last minute to perform, have a major meltdown halfway there, or trip and fall and burst into tears.

    You may have the happiest, most easygoing kid on the planet (and I'm sure in YOUR mind, you do!) But put that kid in front of 100 people with his or her whole schedule messed up. He missed naptime, he really wants some Goldfish and everyone is staring at him going "AWWW HE'S ADORABLE!" and there are two photographers with flashbulbs going off in his face.

    That could go really badly.

    If none of this would bother you and the parents are willing to accept responsibility for their kid, then go ahead. DO NOT treat the child as a prop (don't ask them to do this because "they're so cute in their little dress clothes!")


    I've worked with children my entire life. I've changed more diapers, handled more time-outs, and in general been responsible for the safety and welfare of more children than niki&rob. My opinion damn well better count.
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    AJuliaNJ said:
    niki&rob said:

    you must not be a parent, therefore probably shouldn't include your opinion.  Two year olds don't stop to knaw on random things by the way.  I have never seen a kid walk down an isle that wasn't cute, my son even stood in the middle of the isle during the whole ceremony making faces at the camera, nobody minded one bit, not even the bride and groom.  If you are opposed to children you may not think they are cute, but when responding to a mother, remember that her child is the most important thing in her life and could never ruin her wedding day!!!!!!!!!
    --------------------------------------------
    I would definitely mind if there was a child in the middle of my aisle THE WHOLE CEREMONY making faces at the camera. I would never say anything, but I'd be thinking, "Why doesn't this kid's mother have the respect and decency to pick the kid up and bring him back to his seat or outside?" Why didn't you, by the way? 

    I do agree that it is a bit different for OP since it is her own kid though. I'd either have someone who can scoop him up if he isn't cooperating or not have a ring bearer. It's not required. Also, since he is your kid, I don't really see the big deal in letting him stop in the aisle saying hi. Typically, only the bride and groom would have cause to be annoyed by a child doing that, and since it is her child, I don't think that's likely.
    OMG, you would tots understand IF ONLY you had kids, but he was just so absofuckinloutley adorable that to remove him from the aisle would have just ruined the entire wedding!  I mean the bride and groom would have openly wept on the altar.  And she would have crushed her son's spirit and caused irreparable damage to his self esteem, damage that years of therapy could never undo.

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m561hjjkLS1r5lqojo1_400.gif



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    AJuliaNJJen4948
  • Yeah, I mean I'm not bothered by two year olds walking down the aisle. Our flower girl was four and our ring bearer was two. That was a risk we decided we would take. Thankfully, they behaved and I think they were precious.

    What I don't like is the sense of entitlement that some people have for their kids and get upset when someone doesn't think as highly of their kid as they do. (and lash out at someone just for expressing an opinion, which the OP asked for).

    PrettyGirlLost
  • I am having a 2 1/2 yr old in our wedding as the ring bearer. He's my nephew and it would be awesome to include him. I figured even if he can't walk down the isle by himself, his mother is my MOH and he can walk down with her, or be carried by her. If he throws a fit, he throws a fit. no big. He doesn't HAVE to be in the wedding, but I would like him to be a part of it with us. If he can't control himself, he can sit with my mom.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • I think two is too young, which is why I am not having a ring bearer.  I have two flower girls 4 and 6, but the ring bearers that we have as a possibility are just under 2 and just over 2 which is why I'm not having them at all.  It has caused some MAJOR drama in my family as a result, but I don't want cranky babies interrupting my one day.
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