Save the date cards and register or not???

J&TPruitt

We are getting married on the 26th of this month at the clerks office... just him and I but we will be having a big "wedding" on our 1 year anniversary for friends and family so really its a vow renewal and then a reception.

BangBangs39

I may be wrong - but I'm pretty sure you don't register for gifts for a vow renewal... usually there are no pre-parties to a vow renewal.  You can send out STD's if you want to, they are usually only necessary if your planning your vow renewal around a busy part of the year. 

misshart00

Why don't you wait to get married until next year? Then you can have all the hoopla associated with weddings (registering, showers, etc.).

But no, you don't register or send stds for a vow renewal. Nor do you have a bridal party. Keep that in mind.

harper0813

Nope. It's an anniversary party. You don't register for anniversary parties. And I think a save the date would be overkill for an anniversary party as well.

What you seem to be having is a do-over, or PPD, or "pretty princess day", and it is frowned upon here as its not only insulting to your guests (as they didn't have the honor of witnessing your real wedding but you want them to witness play-acting, plus it's considered fishing for gifts) but it's also insulting to brides and grooms who just had a JOP wedding and left it at that. Their wedding and marriage is totally valid without all the froufrous and cake cutting and first dances.

Either get married now and have a celebration at a later date WITHOUT the ceremony, wedding rituals, white dress, etc., or wait to get married and save up for the wedding you clearly want and think you deserve. Don't take advantage of the benefits. It's so rude.

AddieCake

Why get married now if you're going to turn around and have a do-over in just a year?

misshart00

Or why don't you just have the big wedding now? That's an option too.

southernbelle0915

If you want to have the big wedding to-do (white dress, bridesmaids, registry, ceremony, etc.) then wait until next year to get married. 

If you cannot wait for whatever reason and must get married on the 26th of this month, the party you have next year would be an anniversary party (no white dress, no ceremony, no registry, no bridesmaids - you are not a bride, you're a wife). I would not send save the dates for this and I would not have "wedding" invitations - I would have "anniversary" or "delayed celebration" invitations. Having a party after the fact is totally fine, but playing dress up and pretending to be a bride on that day is a big no-no.

itzMS

J&TPruitt said:

We are getting married on the 26th of this month at the clerks office... just him and I but we will be having a big "wedding" on our 1 year anniversary for friends and family so really its a vow renewal and then a reception. We won't be hiding the fact that we are married but I've never had a big wedding before so this is a perfect time. Should we still send out save the date cards and register for gifts?

Everyone else is correct. Why can't you wait a year if a big wedding is what you want?

Getting married in the courthouse is a great option for many people...but you shouldn't register for gifts for a vow renewal if this is the route you choose.

manateehugger

Just wait or plan your big wedding now (it can be done on short notice), or throw a blow out anniversary party next year. You get one wedding - the day you become married, not the day you wear a big white dress.

Every above poster is correct.

misssunshine17

Ditto PPs. I would wait until you can have the wedding you want and can afford.