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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Communion During the Ceremony?

So I'm not Catholic, I'm a non denominational Christian, and I just wanted to know if anyone else was doing communion in their ceremony, and how were they incorporating it.
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Re: Communion During the Ceremony?

  • Have you spoken with your pastor about this? Some churches (like Southern Baptists) will not incorporate communion into weddings. And he/she might have better ideas than we can give you.
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  • We start premarital counseling with my Fiance's Pastor today, whom will be marrying us; I'll make sure to ask. He's a really nice laid back guy, so I'm pretty sure it can happen. I know I brought it up once, and he didn't seem too bent out of shape about it. 
    I was just curious to see if anyone else had done communion at their wedding.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    My friends did this. It was kind of weird, to be honest. Only the bride and groom had communion with their pastor. Nothing was explained to the guests what was going on and why no one else (Christian or otherwise) was invited to participate.
  • Oh wow,
    What I envision is when the guest enter, after they sign the guest book bible, they'll grab communion (the kind I want is in a plastic prepackaged container with the juice and bread together) and when they grab it, there will be a picture frame with a short info on what it is, why we do it,and that they can abstain if they'd like. The pastor would also give the communion and would explain to those.

    I plan on making the ceremony a five minute sermon on what the Christian view of marriage is,and sort of let people into the minds of my fiance and I, since many don't seem to understand our relationship with Christ at the moment.
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    mrstobe2014ladysmyl
  • I get what you're going for - I really do. A Christian ceremony is important to my fiancé and me as well. And I think it is perfectly fine to briefly explain what the purpose of marriage is in the Christian church during your ceremony.

    But please avoid anything that might feel like a lecture to your guests. Make sure the ceremony remains about you and your fiancé. Don't explain every single ritual or sacrament in Christianity.

    And FYI some denominations do not permit their members to take communion in another denomination.
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    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Thanks, @PDKH , we plan to keep the ceremony short and sweet, but we feel this is our only chance for our families to have to sit down and listen to us, and get the inside on our feelings. We understand everyone won't take it well, but we'll try our best to make it exciting. Cause well, it is exciting!! :)
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  • sydwil23 said:
    Oh wow,
    What I envision is when the guest enter, after they sign the guest book bible, they'll grab communion (the kind I want is in a plastic prepackaged container with the juice and bread together) and when they grab it, there will be a picture frame with a short info on what it is, why we do it,and that they can abstain if they'd like. The pastor would also give the communion and would explain to those.

    I plan on making the ceremony a five minute sermon on what the Christian view of marriage is,and sort of let people into the minds of my fiance and I, since many don't seem to understand our relationship with Christ at the moment.

    In my current and previous denominations (Presbyterian and Catholic) communion is a sacred ritual that involves blessing and, well, a bit more ritual than just "grabbing" it at the door. It might be more meaningful (and not hold up the line as guests enter) to have the pastor explain everything you want your guests to know about communion. Of course, I don't go to your church so it could be very different there. I was just a little put-off by how casually you described something that is generally held to be very sacred.
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    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited July 2013
    The point @cbrown828 made is part of the reason is I would be hesitant to do communion if you aren't having a formal church wedding where the majority of your guests will expect it. Communion can have different meanings and significance by denomination.

    Edit - forgot a word.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited July 2013

    I learn something new every day. I didn't know that Communion could be "grabbed" at the door.  I also didn't know it was even appropriate to "autograph" a Bible. I know it's fine to write an inscription inside the front cover if you are gifting a Bible...but signing pages as a guestbook seems a bit...off...to me.

    Different strokes for different folks!

    [Deleted User]
  • I think if you're going to have communion it needs to be explained in the program, and from the alter, and served by ushers/whichever other officiants are appropriate. Grabbing it at the door seems disrespectful and confusing, as does using a Bible as a guest book. Communion isn't typically a part of the marriage service in my Protestant denomination, but can be included if you want. And surely the focus of the sermon should be preaching to the 2 of you about your responsibilities in a Christian marriage- after all your guests arent entering into one!
    japrincess24
  • I've always thought it was a bit weird to add Communion to a wedding ceremony if it's not already a part of your religion.  I've been to two weddings where the couple received Communion (that weren't Catholic), and I remember thinking "they're not Catholic, I don't get this".

    I'm Catholic, so Communion is obviously a very large part of our mass.  After it is consecrated, the only people allowed to distribute it to people are Priests, Deacons, and Eucharistic ministers that have gone through training.  It is very sacred, so the idea of having it by the door for guests to just pick up weirds me out. 

    If you'd really like to do this, talk to your pastor.  He'll be able to give you some ideas!

    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • This whole plastic prepackaged communion is so different from any communion experience I've ever had that I don't really know how to process it.  (I'm not Christian, so I don't take communion under any circumstances, but this is just completely different from any way I have ever seen it offered.  Kinda blowing my mind.)  So I don't think what you're describing would be a problem or anything...you just might get some confusion from folks that are unfamiliar with the whole grab-and-go thing.

    ...I actually just googled them, and that is super-cool.  My Catholic grandmother would probably have a heart attack, though.

  • We took communion as part of our ceremony. It was not offered to anyone else and we just had music playing for the 30 seconds or so that it took for us to eat the bread and drink from the cup. We are Baptist, FWIW. I think our pastor mentioned something about taking communion for the first time as husband and wife, but I honestly don't recall. It was definitely more a moment between us and God than anything affecting the congregation. Which was why we kept it very short.

    @wittykitty14, it's not a practice restricted to Catholics. While Protestants don't believe in transubstantiation, we do partake in the Lord's Supper as described in Mark/Matthew/Luke/Corinthians.
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    mrstobe2014ladysmyljaprincess24

  • This whole plastic prepackaged communion is so different from any communion experience I've ever had that I don't really know how to process it.  (I'm not Christian, so I don't take communion under any circumstances, but this is just completely different from any way I have ever seen it offered.  Kinda blowing my mind.)  So I don't think what you're describing would be a problem or anything...you just might get some confusion from folks that are unfamiliar with the whole grab-and-go thing.

    ...I actually just googled them, and that is super-cool.  My Catholic grandmother would probably have a heart attack, though.

    Same here. I guess since I've never experienced it, the concept of treating it so nonchalantly weirds me out a little. Nothing personal toward OP, of course.
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  • Alright ladies,
    My intention was not to offend anyone, I wrote this post quickly, and didn't know my wording would offend so many.
    As for 'autographing' the bible, that's not what they're doing, they are going to highlight their favorite bible verses. I don't find that to be rude, if anything that helps us look at more bible verses we may have never read or brings them in new light.

    I attend a baptist church, and we do the prepackaged communion, it is just as sacred. I don't willy nilly plan on letting people grab the communion. There will be an usher to monitor, and the communion will be ministered by a pastor during the ceremony. {We want 1 Corinthians 11:24-34 read at the time} This is HIGHLY sacred to me as well, one of the reasons why I want to have communion on my wedding day, it's a new life, and to start our new life off could be even better with communion.

    Also, this wedding will take place at a Church, my fiance's church.

    I do not plan on holding my guest hostage, it will be a small wedding, and anyone who knows my fiance or I knows we are Christians, and will expect something of the sort, because we make our faith known. 
    In my family, the focus isn't usually on me, so this is one day, where I'd like to have everyone at least hear the gospel once, if they don't care after that 30 minutes is over, then fine, so be it, but to add disciples to the kingdom is what God calls us to do, so I will do it anytime I can. The people coming to our wedding will expect nothing less.

    Please ladies, just try to see it from a different point of view, I will try to word things better on here so I offend no one else, because my intentions were get advice.

    I once again apologize for causing such an uproar.

    Here's a link the communion packages I was talking about: http://www.mardel.com/celebration-wafer-and-juice-communion-cups-250count.aspx
    It might be casual to you all, but it's not to me.

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  • No matter what I say, it will be twisted on this board. I ask one simple question, and everyone judges my faith my ideas, and intentions... but we must remember this is the Internet. I see now that I'm not good with my words , and that this discussion was a mistake. I have only one person I can actually speak about the wedding with, and so I came on here in hopes for help, not judgement. There was a better way you ladies could have approached me, as Christians, I would have found comfort in some of you just asking me why I felt the way I did, instead of jumping to conclusion and trying to judge someone you've never met. I ask that the next time you don't agree with someone, you have a bit more of an open mind.
    I'm once again sorry for offending you ladies and appearing to be a careless, selfish person, we all have our flaws.
    I will no longer respond, but ladies, feel free to carry on.

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
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    sydwil23 said:
    No matter what I say, it will be twisted on this board. I ask one simple question, and everyone judges my faith my ideas, and intentions... but we must remember this is the Internet. I see now that I'm not good with my words , and that this discussion was a mistake. I have only one person I can actually speak about the wedding with, and so I came on here in hopes for help, not judgement. There was a better way you ladies could have approached me, as Christians, I would have found comfort in some of you just asking me why I felt the way I did, instead of jumping to conclusion and trying to judge someone you've never met. I ask that the next time you don't agree with someone, you have a bit more of an open mind. I'm once again sorry for offending you ladies and appearing to be a careless, selfish person, we all have our flaws. I will no longer respond, but ladies, feel free to carry on.
    You do realize that not everybody here is a Christian, yes?



    snippet17wittykitty14
  • As a Christian, I agree that preaching at your wedding guests is wrong. Having a Christian wedding in the first place is an obvious witness of your faith. I don't go to weddings to hear a sermon, and the one wedding I've been to that had one would have been much improved by dropping it. Stage was trying to tell you you're hurting your witness by doing this to a captive audience (and yes, you are holding them hostage, because no person who's even marginally polite is going to walk out of a wedding ceremony regardless of their religion or lack thereof).

    And you continue to hurt it with your non-apology, IMO. You apologized not for your words but that they were somehow misinterpreted. When even other Christians are telling you that your ideas will offend, perhaps you should start looking for that plank in your eye before accusing us of judgement.
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    wittykitty14[Deleted User]RebeccaB88[Deleted User]
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    sydwil23 said:
    There was a better way you ladies could have approached me, as Christians, I would have found comfort in some of you just asking me why I felt the way I did, instead of jumping to conclusion and trying to judge someone you've never met.
    Sorry, Buddhist here, don't understand grab-n-go communion and hate getting prosthelytized to anywhere, wedding or not. I've been to one Christian wedding service, and the two of them just served communion to one another. It was like maybe a minute. I would feel as awkward about not taking communion as I am not praying at services and it would suck a lot.

  • edited July 2013
    I would probably walk out if you didn't warn me about this approach.  
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    @sydwil23 have you been trying to convince your friends and family members to join your fi's church? I'm worried that you're going to use your wedding to proselytize your guests. I hope I'm wrong.

    With all due respect, placing grab and go communion at the entrance to your ceremony is a bad idea, unless all the guests are members of that church and that's the way communion is typically served. The guests aren't going to take time to read that sign. Some will grab those little packets and throw them into their purses, not realizing their significance. Then what will they do with it if they decide not to participate in your communion ritual?

    As for highlighting bible passages, I see nothing wrong with that, other than it will take too much time for the guest to choose a passage. Could you ask your closest family members to do this before your wedding day, so they can give it some thought?



                       
  • I don't find a sermon, in and of itself, offensive, despite being an atheist. I've been to a lot of Catholic weddings, there is always a homily. Usually it's about the couple, advice for the couple, a humorous story from other weddings the priest has performed, etc. Sometimes it is a reflection on marriage, obviously from a Catholic/Christian point of view. That never bothered me. The only time I was appalled was the wedding where the priest went on a 15 minute diatribe against same-sex marriage (this was back in 2002, before gay marriage was even being discussed by many people). Even those guests who happened to agree with the priest were put off by a lecture/rant on what is supposed to be a mass celebrating the love and marriage of the two guests of honor present. 

    My point being OP, I wouldn't side-eye a pastor giving a speech about your marriage per se, but if it was done in a tone meant to brow beat the congregation...yep the eye roll is coming out. 
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  • sydwil23 said:
    There was a better way you ladies could have approached me, as Christians, I would have found comfort in some of you just asking me why I felt the way I did, instead of jumping to conclusion and trying to judge someone you've never met.
    Sorry, Buddhist here, don't understand grab-n-go communion and hate getting prosthelytized to anywhere, wedding or not. I've been to one Christian wedding service, and the two of them just served communion to one another. It was like maybe a minute. I would feel as awkward about not taking communion as I am not praying at services and it would suck a lot.
    Just curious... would you be offended by any wedding in which communion is offered?  Like a Catholic wedding (obviously, the communion is only meant to be received by Catholic wedding guests, but my point is that it's not just between the bride and groom)?  I'm just curious since I didn't think most non-Catholics felt awkward about not receiving communion at a Catholic wedding, and I assumed it would be the same for other non-christians at christian weddings.


    I also don't see anything wrong with a sermon as long as it's not a blatant attempt to convert people.  The homily at our Catholic wedding was about marriage and living holy lives, but it wasn't a "Let Jesus be your savior" kind of thing aimed at guests.  I agree, that would be uncomfortable and probably push people further away.  But I'm guessing that people who go to christian weddings do expect to hear at least something about God or Jesus.  

    I think maybe OP just isn't being very clear about what exactly is going to be said at her wedding.  Scripture readings and a short sermon about God and marriage is perfectly fine and expected.  Trying to convert your guests in 30 minutes, however, will not be successful.  Sometimes the best way to show people the gospel is to live it through your love and kindness, and by setting a good example in your marriage.  Not through sermons.

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  • @ Stage, I get what you mean.  I used to be protestant, and everyone took communion there, no matter what denomination/belief system (called "open communion"), so I can see why it might be a little more uncomfortable.

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  • We had a small sermon at our wedding, but it was to US, the bride and groom.  The pastor spoke about marriage, and left the audience alone.  

    We always tell brides here that their weddings aren't other events.  Your wedding isn't a fund-raiser, a rodeo, a broadway event, or in this case, a chance to win converts for your church.  Your wedding is your wedding.  If you'd like a sermon, that's fine.  Just have the proper type of sermon that is WEDDING focused for the bride and groom.

    I'm not kidding either, I'd walk out if someone gave me a Lunchables communion and then tried to convert me.  I would be SO offended that I might pick up my gift on the way out too.  You don't respect me, I don't respect you.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • Yeah, unfortunately, some people don't.  We put a little (polite) note about that in our program, but I know some people choose not to.

    My non-Catholic MOH was told by a Catholic that the bridal party must receive communion, Catholic or not.  *Headdesk*  She asked me about it before our wedding because she was concerned.  I wish people would stop spreading misinformation like that. 



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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
     I don't think there is anything wrong with having the minister speak to the couple about their faith or even say a few words in general about Christ in their marriage, etc. I've said that the whole time. But a sermon, as in a religious lecture given TO the audience to try to affect their morality or behavior is not okay, not even for 5 minutes. That is not what a wedding is for, and to do so specifically because you (general) know it's the only time your guests will "have to" listen to it is very offensive.
    I agree. I also don't like that this is the intention of the couple. OP stated their families will HAVE to listen due to this setup. One's wedding is not the place to force a sit down to present religious preferences. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Another vote for not having a conversion sermon.  It is deceitful and rude to try to trick your guests into listening to a conversion sermon when they attended to witness your wedding.

    This is basically the same thing as those misleading commercials for used car lots that try to lure potential buyers in with pictures of nice cars for affordable prices when in reality the cars shown represent only 1% of their inventory.  Guests attend your ceremony to witness your wedding and then you pull a bait and switch as they sit through a conversion sermon.  Don't act like a shady used car dealer on your wedding day.

    By all means, have a sermon of the type other posters have mentioned.  It is your wedding ceremony and you should have elements that are meaningful to you and your future spouse. But when you start adding in things completely unrelated to your actual wedding (such as forcing guests to learn about your religion or convincing them that they should convert), you've transformed your meaningful ceremony into a sales pitch.  
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @monkeysip : I'm definitely not bothered by communion in a Catholic setting because I wouldn't take of the host anyway, as I've never been Catholic. I'm also not as bothered if it's a pass around communion that goes aisle by aisle because I can easily pass the plate without taking and there's little hurrah. If I'm supposed to pick up the host at the door, however, and people can see that I'm purposefully not picking it up and I don't have it in my hands for the service... awkward. I also don't mind general religion talk in the context of the religious relationship of the bride and groom, but having an altar call and trying to 'save souls' during a wedding is just weird and makes me uncomfortable.

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