New to Planning... Thoughts on Official Marriage then Celebration Dinner/Party

natashagabrielle

Hi everyone...I'm very new to planning I look forward to checking out the many posts here and learning from those who are more experienced !!


My fiance and I have always talked about marrying with a couple close friends/family members or even with just us and a maid of honor / best man and then planning a seperate celebration where we dance, drink, eat and enjoy and celerbate with our friends and family. We also have considered having the marriage ceremony videotaped and then show that at our oarty.

Does anyone else have thoughts on this idea? Is anyone else planning to do this? How would you handle this?

emilyb213

Hi there and welcome!! Congratulations on your engagement!!

You can absolutely do a very small ceremony with a larger reception later in the day. However, you would want to keep your ceremony to grandparents, parents, and siblings (and their children, if they have any). You can also choose to include a close friend or two. Extending your guest list for the ceremony further out will lead to a tiered event, which is an etiquette faux pas.

Are you planning to do the reception the same day as the ceremony?

SCD1126

It's your wedding - you can do it however you want. You wouldn't be the first to keep the ceremony intimate and have a larger party after. Some people may feel slighted for not being invited to the wedding, but that's their issue NOT yours.

Good luck and happy planning!!!!

manjermj

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_new-to-planning-thoughts-on-official-marriage-then-celebration-dinnerparty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:116Discussion:a1ca7cbc-ac80-45ad-b07e-80ac3d315386Post:fb0f961e-1057-4027-a2f8-19dd369595fb">Re: New to Planning... Thoughts on Official Marriage then Celebration Dinner/Party</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi there and welcome!! Congratulations on your engagement!! You can absolutely do a very small ceremony with a larger reception later in the day. <strong>However, you would want to keep your ceremony to grandparents, parents, and siblings (and their children, if they have any). You can also choose to include a close friend or two. Extending your guest list for the ceremony further out will lead to a tiered event, which is an etiquette faux pas.</strong> Are you planning to do the reception the same day as the ceremony?
Posted by emilyb213[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Exactly my thoughts! I think doing that is totally fine as long as you have the celebration on the same day and keep the ceremony to close family and friends. As soon as you start extending the list past that, then it'll turn into a mess. </div>

natashagabrielle

Thanks for all the thoughts.

We were thinking of doing this because of many reasons. One, we wanted a very intimate and private affair with us sharing vows and doing the actual ceremony in our own way. Additionally, his parents are religious and so is his family, but he is not. So we really wanted to be able to do it in our own private way.. but we want to celebrate our commitment and our future as we have already invested 5 years in this relationship and have lived together started planning a life together all this time.. We want our family and friends to celebrate and have a good more relaxed evening with us as we start our "official" future together

We were honestly thinking marry the weekend before or in the same weekend...but not the same day.. I don't feel I'd be trying to do a wedding do over... we think of the celebration/recelption as more of a party.

manjermj

I think it would be fine to get married the week before then have a relaxed party (ie. not reception) the following week as long as you aren't wearing a wedding gown/pretending it is your actual wedding day - since you'll already be married. 

lmm343

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_new-to-planning-thoughts-on-official-marriage-then-celebration-dinnerparty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:116Discussion:a1ca7cbc-ac80-45ad-b07e-80ac3d315386Post:21534f68-ce68-4c0f-bb3e-5eccf2b99dd9">Re: New to Planning... Thoughts on Official Marriage then Celebration Dinner/Party</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all the thoughts. We were thinking of doing this because of many reasons. One, we wanted a very intimate and private affair with us sharing vows and doing the actual ceremony in our own way. Additionally, his parents are religious and so is his family, but he is not. So we really wanted to be able to do it in our own private way.. but we want to celebrate our commitment and our future as we have already invested 5 years in this relationship and have lived together started planning a life together all this time.. We want our family and friends to celebrate and have a good more relaxed evening with us as we start our "official" future together We were honestly thinking marry the weekend before or in the same weekend...but not the same day.. I don't feel I'd be trying to do a wedding do over... we think of the celebration/recelption as more of a party.
Posted by natashagabrielle[/QUOTE]

I'm doing something similar to this. We're having only immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses) plus a MOH and best man as the bridal party at the ceremony itself. After the ceremony, we decided to do a casual, private dinner with only those who were at the ceremony. A month or so later, we are planning a very casual BBQ (party) to invite extended family and friends to stop by and celebrate our marriage with us. Good luck in your planning!