Asking bridesmaids budget

wiki8

I just wanted to say that I've never been asked my budget as a bridesmaid, and when I read it on here it just made so much sense! I wish this was something every bride did, because it is very thoughtful.

I also wanted to say I completely messed up and didn't ask my own bridesmaids their budget. I told them they could pick out any dresses they wanted, they didn't have to match, they could be long or short, and could be any shade within a certain color pallet. When we went shopping my bridesmaids all started to gravitate towards the same dress, which was very unexpected to me. When I looked at the price tag it was almost $280! I know I didn't pick it out myself, they all decided they liked it and wanted it, but I just couldn't let them spend that much on a dress for my wedding. I instantly felt so bad about not asking for a budget, because I just couldn't feel positive that they were being honest "on the spot" that it wasn't too much. I ended up making a much bigger deal about it than any of them, and asked one of the ladies who worked at the shop to help us find a similar dress that was less expensive. They ended up finding one that was very similar, and everyone ended up liking a lot more. The dress was about $130 cheaper and the store gave us 10% off.

I just wanted to share because I know I would have never thought to check budgets seeing they were all choosing their own dresses, and hope other brides might learn from my mistake!

cbrown828

I actually think since you didn't ask for a particular dress but instead gave your BMs freedom to choose their own within your criteria, asking their budgets wasn't necessary. I also think you handled the situation at the shop very well. Keep on being an awesome bride!

wiki8

Thanks, @cbrown828! That's what I originally thought, and was why I didn't ask. But it was just very awkward when they all decided on the same dress. I know one of my bridesmaids probably didn't want to spend so much (she has some financial hardships) and also know she isn't the type to come out and say "this is really out of my budget" in front of everyone. So that's why I was kicking myself for not asking.

BMoreBride6

wiki8 said:

Thanks, @cbrown828! That's what I originally thought, and was why I didn't ask. But it was just very awkward when they all decided on the same dress. I know one of my bridesmaids probably didn't want to spend so much (she has some financial hardships) and also know she isn't the type to come out and say "this is really out of my budget" in front of everyone. So that's why I was kicking myself for not asking.

The bolded exactly!  I'm so sick of brides saying, "well no one said at the time that it was too much!".  Honestly, who wants to be the one person to have to say, in front of everyone, "I know you all love this dress but sorry I have ruin it for everyone because I can't afford this".  Reminds me of the bridesmaids dress shopping scene (before the gross out of course ; ) where Helen decides what dress they should all wear...

wiki8

@BMoreBride6 Yes!! I agree!! Some people have a strong personality and could definitely step forward and say that, but I think most people would probably feel very awkward doing so! Especially if everyone else is on board and pushing for that dress. I was completely honest with my bridesmaids and said I wouldn't want to spend $280 on a dress for any of their weddings, so they don't have to pretend to be okay with it for me haha. 

BMoreBride6

wiki8 said:

@BMoreBride6 Yes!! I agree!! Some people have a strong personality and could definitely step forward and say that, but I think most people would probably feel very awkward doing so! Especially if everyone else is on board and pushing for that dress. I was completely honest with my bridesmaids and said I wouldn't want to spend $280 on a dress for any of their weddings, so they don't have to pretend to be okay with it for me haha. 

You're a good friend and love that you know what's actually important about having bridesmaids...having people you care about standing with you, not "hiring" unpaid helpers for your dress up : ) 

BlondieBia21

I was in the same situation. I didn't realize until I read on here that you were supposed to ask a budget. I let my bridesmaids all choose their dresses, just asked them to be a certain color/fabric. It turned out that they all ended up picking pretty similar dresses on their own so it worked out! (We all live in different states so they were all looking at similar stores online by themselves, so no one was "put on the spot") Once I heard the prices, I was shocked because they were what I viewed as "expensive" but they each were able to pick so I had to convince myself to not feel bad about it. Now since I know the prices of the dresses (they were anywhere from $160-$280 EEKK!), I am doing my best to ensure that they already have the other things, i.e. shoes, jewelry (unless that's what I get them for their gift) so they don't have to spend any more money on it! I figure it's just one day and what really matters is that at the end of it I'll be married to my best friend and have all my other best friends by my side!