Wedding Officiant

KCLindgren

We are having a nondenominational outdoor ceremony in June 2014. We hope to have our friend perform the ceremony assuming he is ordained online and it's legal (contacting the county clerk's office tomorrow and will let you know what they say!). Meanwhile, do you have any suggestions for officiants in the Southeastern CT area?
We have a small budget, that why we wanted to go the friend route (and we thought it would be more special!).
Any suggestions would be welcome. Thanks!!

Teacherbride77

Sara Carson & Mary Pugh are highly recommended on this board.

Can't wait to hear what the clerk's office says, we wanna go the same route with an officiant. Keep us posted!

KCLindgren

We contacted Sara Carson, she is unbelievably nice and her rate is so reasonable compared to others!!!!
We are meeting with her soon, but my fingers are still crossed that we can have our friend officiate.

KCLindgren

Update:  It is NOT legal in the state of Connecticut to have someone ordained online to legally perform wedding ceremonies.  I spoke to the town clerk's office in Groton.  The person who marries you needs to have an active congregation or be a justice of the peace listed on the town's website.

That being said, you can get married at city hall the day of or the day before and then have a friend perform the ceremony in front of your guests.  Or you can have a justice of the peace marry you in private and have the friend "officiate" on your big day, etc. You'll technically already be married but that way you get to have the special person you really want perform the ceremony the day of.  That's what really counts anyway.

Teacherbride77

Thanks for the update! I was gonna call Hartford this morning.

When you go to city hall, do you need bring a witness? is this when you get your marriage license? Because I thought that could be done up to 60 day prior to your wedding date...

KCLindgren

You can go to city hall with just your fiance and you.  No witnesses in CT and no blood test.
Bring 30 dollars for the marriage license and 25 for the cost of getting married (at least that's what New London City Hall charges).  It takes about half an hour to fill out the application for the marriage license. 
You need to make an appointment in advance with the probate judge to get married.  Then the judge performs the ceremony, he would need to sign the marriage license, return it to the town clerk's office, and then you can get a copy of it for 20 bucks.

What I'll probably do is make two trips.  1 day for the marriage license and the 2nd day to actually get married.

Teacherbride77

Talked to a woman at the Hartford town clerk's office. She is a JOP & said she would marry us for legality purposes whenever we wanted & then we could have our relative perform a more intimate ceremony if we wanted the day of our wedding. They don't even need to be ordained or any of that nonsense if that's the route we decide to take.

MoonlightSilver

We used Mary Pugh and loved her. 

You might want to ask the JOPs you contact if they'll oversee your ceremony while your friend does most of the talking. That way you don't end up getting married a day before or after your wedding day. Or just hire them and ask your friend to do some readings. 

SB1512

We used Sal Fiore and had a great experience.  Please don't get married a day or 2 before the big day.  If you do that, that is your wedding day, and what your guests would witness would be a sham and could be viewed as deceitful.  I like moonlight's suggestion, but if that doesn't work and you are dead set on having your friend officiate, I would get legally married the day AFTER your friend "marry's" you, not the day before.

Button5807

SB1512 said:

We used Sal Fiore and had a great experience.  Please don't get married a day or 2 before the big day.  If you do that, that is your wedding day, and what your guests would witness would be a sham and could be viewed as deceitful.  I like moonlight's suggestion, but if that doesn't work and you are dead set on having your friend officiate, I would get legally married the day AFTER your friend "marry's" you, not the day before.

By your logic it's a sham either way... 

SB1512

Button5807 said:

SB1512 said:

We used Sal Fiore and had a great experience.  Please don't get married a day or 2 before the big day.  If you do that, that is your wedding day, and what your guests would witness would be a sham and could be viewed as deceitful.  I like moonlight's suggestion, but if that doesn't work and you are dead set on having your friend officiate, I would get legally married the day AFTER your friend "marry's" you, not the day before.

By your logic it's a sham either way... 

It could be seen that way, but getting legally married a day after is better than already being married at your wedding.  I could be mistaken, but I think some destination weddings (like Mexico) have pretty stringent rules and many couples who want to get married there often cannot do so on their actual wedding day unless they have gone through all the hoops.  If those couples truly want to get married there proper etiquette would be that they do not get married before the mexico wedding, but after.  I think this same logic applies to the OP.  If she wants their friend to marry them, their guests can still witness heartfelt vows and a ceremony, but they would take care of the paperwork afterwards.  But taking care of the papework before the wedding would already make them married, thus making their big day nothing but a PPD.