My dad is marrying us - how to do giving away?

jessiemmert

I poked around and couldn't find another topic like this, so sorry if it's a repeat. 

My dad is a pastor and will be performing FI and I's ceremony. It was important to my dad to be able to do this - I wasn't really sure about it. To me, it feels odd that my dad will be "at work" on my wedding day - he's been a pastor my whole life, I kind of want him to just be my dad on this day. But anyway, it was important to him and I'm already not getting married where my parents want so I really wanted to make him happy on this. 

We are currently throwing around ideas of how to handle the giving away. Obviously someone else (we have no idea who at this point) will be doing the "Who gives this woman to this man ..." etc., but we weren't sure what should happen at that point. Would the other person just vacate the platform? Should there be an explanation to the guests? 

daria24

I would just skip the question part, and have your father incorporate the statement into the service. "Jessie, your mother and I (or just I) give you to this man to be wedded." I think that is less awkward than having someone "random" pose the question. 

MairePoppy

I would skip it altogether. It's an outdated custom.

BangBangs39

You could have your mother escort you down and "give you away"

Jen4948

I'd either skip the giving away, have someone else do it, or have your father walk you down the aisle and then go around you to the altar and simply claim during the ceremony that he and your mother giveth you.

monkeysip

I'd skip it entirely.  Father can walk you down, give you a kiss/hug, then take his place as the officiant.

My father walked me down because I love him, and I think it's nice to have your dad (or whoever you wish) by side on that day.  But he didn't "give me away" in my eyes.

jessiemmert

Thanks for the input - any ideas about who/what should indicate that everyone stand for the entrance of the bride? At every wedding I've been to, the officiant lifts his hand to let everyone know to stand. Will people figure this out on their own though? I feel like it's obvious ... 

tlc35

I think if the music changes people will know to stand especially if you tell a few people who are close to you in the front which song you are entering to. Then they will know to stand and others will follow suit.

iloveu4ever

monkeysip said:

I'd skip it entirely.  Father can walk you down, give you a kiss/hug, then take his place as the officiant.

My father walked me down because I love him, and I think it's nice to have your dad (or whoever you wish) by side on that day.  But he didn't "give me away" in my eyes.

 I agree

 

iloveu4ever

Except that last part

lovesclimbing

jessiemmert said:

We are currently throwing around ideas of how to handle the giving away. Obviously someone else (we have no idea who at this point) will be doing the "Who gives this woman to this man ..." etc., but we weren't sure what should happen at that point. Would the other person just vacate the platform? Should there be an explanation to the guests? 

I was at a wedding once where they did this.  There was no "who gives this woman to this man".  He just walked her up and then took his place at the front.  No explanation was needed.