Maid/Matron of Honor fogging up my mind

ChrisEmilyL

Thank you I have figured out how I feel about my situation. 

KJiras

Congratulations, you are going to be an auntie! Continue being happy for your brother, his new wife and their new family. Regardless of what anyone says, on your wedding day your family and friends are going to be just as happy for you. As a bride-to-be the months leading up to your wedding are incredibly exciting to you (and me!) but obviously nobody else is as excited about our wedding days as us...except on the actual day! Then everyone is ready to party! 

Your brother and wife have been together a long time and maybe actually seeing your wedding planning in motion spurred them to stop putting it off...you should be flattered!  In regards to her possibly having her baby 2 weeks before your wedding... well only she can really decide how she wants to proceed with that...I have never had a baby so I can't comment on when a new mother is ready to what. I think that is something that you need to let lie for the moment. Life continues on around us and sometimes takes us in unexpected directions. I think if you continue to be happy and supportive to your family you will never regret that. Congrats again!

MairePoppy

This must be a very exciting time for your family. 

Your friends sound like a bunch of  troublemakers. Ignore them. The timing of your SIL's pregnancy is none of their business. I'm stuck on your statement that your fi didn't want SILs water to break at your wedding. That's ridiculous and highly unlikely. 

Be happy for your brother and SIL and excited for the new baby's arrival. You get one day - your wedding day - to be the center of attention.

edit - grammar

Dreamergirl8812

ChrisEmilyL said:

I want to unscramble my mind. I do not know how I feel except for happiness (my own feelings) and confusion (mixed with other people's emotions/judgments)

This topic is about why I cannot figure out how I feel about this process and what has recently happened. 

My fiance proposed in December 2012 and we have been together for 8 years. We have 5 on each side, including MoH and Best Man. I have two brothers, no sisters. The MaidoH is my brother's fiance. They have been together for 9 years but engaged for 6 years (she said she was never able to find the right time to plan their wedding or even set a date....throughout those 6 years). We don't talk like my girl-friends and I talk. Only through family occasions. I asked her to be my maid of honor because she was like a sister to me (not like a best/close friend relationship), she fit the description of what I wanted in my maid of honor as if it were a family member. 

We set our date in January for 3/22/14, everybody knew and was thrilled. I asked my MoH to stand up in February, then in March she attended me when I purchased my wedding gown (side story: I had no emotions to the dress that I picked out because my MoH was acting like a kid in a candy store, super excited about the dress that I purchased....saying that was the dress she imagined her getting married in and asked why I was not as excited as her). Another side note: My brother spoke with my fiance separately that his fiance (MoH) was talking about their wedding planning, but that they would not steal our thunder and will plan their wedding after ours). I did not know that conversation occurred, but a week or two after purchasing my gown in March, I got a text from my brother stating that they were getting married in July out of state. I was excited but confused as to why? all of a sudden now!? and the rush? Also...my mom was more into their wedding planning than helping me out with mine  

They said she was ready to plan for a wedding because she was thinking of family planning? We learned that she wanted to have a baby and I learned that my fiance did not want the MoH to be due within our wedding day, in the incident of her water breaking during the wedding/reception. Of course, I learned she was not planning on getting pregnant but just recently went off any pregnancy protections. I spoke to her about it, and she said they were going to try until Aug/July. 

Well, their wedding was over with (which was wonderful) and we learned that they were expecting their 1st! With my calculations (naegele's rule) their due date is 3/4/14! This means she is due 18 days before our wedding. How do I feel about everything with what has happened...... I do not know My friends give me more negative than positive responses to what's going on, but I am always thinking about the positive and being optimistic, but this time I really don't know how I feel. I am ecstatically happy  for the pregnancy but from what people have been brainwashing me with is that I will not ever get a moment of happy spot-light for our engagement/wedding. I'm a person that gives and a person that does not know how to be selfish, but all of the judgments and opinions given by my friends are not helping me to think clearly about how I feel about this situation. My BM's, fiance, other sister in law seem happy but a bit upset with the MoH's random actions, but all I feel is "it happens and you work with it."

How would you feel if this happened to you? 

Nothing happened to you. There is no reason to be confused.

Viczaesar

Ditto Dreamergirl.  There's nothing to be confused about and nothing happened to you.

aurianna

Everyone is allowed to plan their family however and whenever they want. They answer to no one for this. Even if their baby was due ON your wedding day, they'd have done absolutely nothing wrong.

It's natural to want to be the center of attention on your wedding day... and don't worry, you will be. If she ends up coming to your wedding with the baby, while there may be plenty of family fawning over it, you will have plenty of attention too, I promise.

Now there will be a wedding anniversary AND a niece or nephew's birthday in March. These are good things.

Gratz on soon becoming an auntie!

Peledreamsofrain

This must be a very exciting time for your family. 

Your friends sound like a bunch of  troublemakers. Ignore them. The timing of your SIL's pregnancy is none of their business. I'm stuck on your statement that your fi didn't want SILs water to break at your wedding. That's ridiculous and highly unlikely. 

Be happy for your brother and SIL and excited for the new baby's arrival. You get one day - your wedding day - to be the center of attention.

edit - grammar

That part gave me a giggle though.  That's such a male thing to be stuck on :P.   Like pregnant women are wandering around just waiting to fire off a baby at them.  My H's mother had her water break while she was teaching at school.  She just finished her school day, then went to the hospital.  In her mind, why should she spend the majority of her day in the hospital bed when she knew it was going to take at least 12 to 20 hours?

OP, your friends are being primadonnas.  The only person who can make you feel less important on your wedding day is you.  If you build up this pregnancy into a big looming light-stealing thing that you cannot possibly overcome, then congratulations, that's what it'll be.  If you just shrug and say "yay I get to be an auntie AND married this year, go me!", then that's what it'll be.  Your choice whether you're miserable or happy through the process.

Bubblegum5586

You sound like a very generous and thoughtful person, don't let others ruin that!