Second Weddings

Getting remarried, fiance wants me to change my name back to my maiden name before ceremony.

Re: Getting remarried, fiance wants me to change my name back to my maiden name before ceremony.

  • He's being a bit ridiculous, in my opinion.  It's a major pain in the butt to change your name.  Just use your maiden name in the ceremony (although usually you don't even use your last name.)  ~Donna
  • Depending on the paperwork for your divorce, you may not be able to restore your maiden name when your divorce is final. I know I couldn't because I didn't check that specific box. However, if you can do it with your divorce decree, it's a total pain in the rear to get everything switched over- many phone calls, e-mails, and time waiting in line at offices (SSA, DMV). I highly recommend waiting and tell your FI that it's not as simple as it seems and that it will take months to do. You can also show him the list that the knot has! Just do a search for name change and it pulls up this huge list of different places you will have to change your name. It's ridiculous and it's even more ridiculous to do it twice in one year.


  • edited August 2013
  • Multiple name changes are not even possible in a year's time.  He's being silly.  Your last name doesn't come up in vows...  And you don't have to use it when you create your invitations.

    As long as your military intake papers don't have ex's last name, perhaps that is what he is worried about? 
  • edited August 2013
  •  my ex and I aren't going to actually file the paperwork until after I'm in because we want to request co-location so we don't have to fight in court for custody and have our son move across the country on a regular basis. Everything is backdated to 2011 as far as the period of separation goes and everything is non-contested so it'll only be a matter of a few months for it to be final after we file.
    I missed the part where you aren't divorced yet. 
  • He is acting dumb. Just use your maiden name in the ceremony-----done.


    Now onto the bigger issue of you still being married, you should really figure that out. I'm a little surprised you are even planning a wedding while your still married to another man.

  • I had my name changed in decree last year, but just did it last week officially at soc sec office where I then went straight to dmv where they just needed my decree (Who knew! I would have done it last year!) and next year I will change it to his name keeping my maiden name as a middle name. The first time I was married I hyphenated, this time around my new guy asked me to take his name alone, we talked about it and I agreed. I won't go through all the other changes except my debit card. We will see how long my credit cards let me use them with the name change!

    But it was my choice to go through hassle, change my name officially on ss and dmv, I don't want my wedding license to show my name as it was for 27 yrs with my exes last name.... I wanted to be me. Fresh new me.

  • elf814elf814 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I changed my name back to my maiden name, even though I had a son with my married name.  I wasn't asked to do so by my fiancé, but we were talking again and I just couldn't picture ever marrying him using my married name on everything.  It was my choice, but I am glad I did it.
  • I kept the name after the divorce....honestly, I never felt attached to my maiden name and it felt like going through the hoops of changing it for a sad reason would be tough.  I think it might bug FI when he thinks about me still carrying something of my Ex (though we all carry our pasts and I have most definitely moved on/ahead), but he doesn't think about it all that much and never said a word.

    I do plan to take FI's name....I can handle the hoops when it is tied to a happy moment. 

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