adult reception

marip123

My daughter is getting married on September 28th when should the invitations be sent?.  Our r.s.v.p. date is Aug. 15th.  We've decided on an adult reception after she ordered the invitations.  How should we state it on the invitations?  Should we have an insert?

manateehugger

marip123 said:

My daughter is getting married on September 28th when should the invitations be sent?.  Our r.s.v.p. date is Aug. 15th.  We've decided on an adult reception after she ordered the invitations.  How should we state it on the invitations?  Should we have an insert?

Her invitations should go out in early-mid August (last week of July at the earliest). Your RSVP date is WAY too early - six weeks out is too much time. Is there a reason you decided on the 15th?

It is considered a breach in etiquette to post "adults only" (or similar wording) on an invitation - you're basically pointing out who is not invited on an invitation. Simply adress the invitation envelope with the names of only those who are invited (aka just parents). If they RSVP with their kids included, your daughter will have to call and say "I''m so happy you can attend the wedding. Unfortunately, the invitation was just mean for you and Bob; we can't accomodate little Johnny."

Jen4948

I'd say that the invitations should go out around the end of July or beginning of August.

But they should not contain an "adults only" wording or any other indication that anyone is not invited.  The correct way to indicate that someone is not invited is to leave their name off the envelope.  If you get RSVPs for kids, then your daughter will need to call them and let them know that the invitation was issued only to the parents and the kids can't be accommodated, and be prepared to respond with threats of parents not coming with "I'm sorry to hear that, we'll miss you" but not extending invitations to their kids.

banana468

marip123 said:

My daughter is getting married on September 28th when should the invitations be sent?.  Our r.s.v.p. date is Aug. 15th.  We've decided on an adult reception after she ordered the invitations.  How should we state it on the invitations?  Should we have an insert?

Your response date should be no earlier than August 28th.   Ideally it's only 2-3 weeks before the wedding.   If the response cards state this she will need to have them reprinted to a more acceptable date.

They can be mailed during the last week of this month.

As far as indicating that it's an adult only wedding, just address the invitations to only those invited.    If she wishes to go a step further, she can write out the response cards so the guests just have to choose accepts / declines after their names so there is no room to add on guests - again, this is another reason to opt to print response cards again.

Absolutely do not state who you intend to exclude on the invitations.   There's nothing wrong with an adult event but you should not state that anywhere. 

marip123

Our response date is early because the vendor wanted to know by the end of August the head count so this gives us time if we have to call anyone.  I really don't know why the restaurant would want to know this early for since our wedding is Sept. 28th.

JoanE2012

marip123 said:

Our response date is early because the vendor wanted to know by the end of August the head count so this gives us time if we have to call anyone.  I really don't know why the restaurant would want to know this early for since our wedding is Sept. 28th.

I would ask them why they need to know your numbers one month early.  I've never heard of this and it seems very unreasonable.  See if you can push it out....there's no reason why they should need the numbers sooner than 2 weeks before the wedding.  

marip123

We decided not to put Adult Reception in our invitations.  Instead were going to spread the word to relatives and friends no children are invited.

banana468

The X seats reserved thing can also backfire.   Then a parent could say, "Well my husband can't come but our 6 year old is so excited that she can wear her princess dress!   You reserved 2 seats for us thank you!"