Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP date

What is the earliest you can politely ask guests to RSVP to your wedding?  Is 2 months out okay?

Re: RSVP date

  • Our wedding is August 31 and our RSVP date is August 12. 

    2 months out is a really long time. I wouldn't even send out your invites until a month before the wedding. 
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  • Ok, sorry, I just realized that invites go out 6-8 weeks in advance, so rsvp's would be much shorter than that.  Would you be annoyed if you were asked for an rsvp 4 weeks in advance?
  • You are correct - 2 months is way too soon. Find out from your caterer and other applicable vendors when they need the final guest count (usually 1-2 weeks before the event). Give yourself about a week prior to that for following up with people. 

    I wouldn't recommend more than about 3 weeks. Most people will respond right away. We got the vast majority of our RSVPs within a week of sending invitations so we had a pretty good idea of numbers. The rest trickled in until the RSVP date and we only had a few invitations to follow up on after the date passed.
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  • 4 weeks is ok if you send the invites at 8 weeks, but I definitely wouldn't go earlier than that.

    We set our RSVP date for 4 weeks out, because our venue needed a count at 2 weeks.  We also sent out invites out at just under 9 weeks, so it still gave people plenty of time to respond.

  • We put ours at 5 weeks out at the suggestion of the store where we ordered our invitations. The reasoning was that our original RSVP date of 4 weeks out coincided with Labor Day Weekend so the saleswoman suggested to have the RSVP date the week before to minimize the chance that the RSVP date would be lost in the shuffle of the long holiday weekend and Back To School. We have not yet sent out our invites, although we do have some going overseas to Europe so we will probably send out at the end of this month to give everyone enough time to receive and respond.
  • Mine are due back a month before the wedding because the venue needs my final head count yesterday. They actually asked for it a few months before the wedding and suggested I send out invites now... I told them that was stupidly ridiculous and they would have the count a couple of weeks before the wedding.  Ummm yep you guys cook the food and keep us happy for the night, I'll take care of everything else, mmmkay?

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  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited July 2013

    1) make sure it is about 1-2 weeks PRIOR to the need for final count. Trust me, THAT's the most important way to decide. If you cut it to close to final count deadline, you will be sorry. Your invitations shouldn't even be sent out before then. You need to send THOSE out at about 8 weeks...and you need to give your guests time once they have them, to decide their attendance

    2) The EARLIER you make it, the more likely you will be hunting down RSVP's because people can't always commit that early due to work/babysitting schedules. It will just create a biggger headche for you

    3) if you are doing it o "b-list, do NOT...it's rude

  • What about if you're having a wedding around a major holiday?  Can the RSVP timeline then be moved up a bit since a lot of people plan out their holidays in advance?

  • What about if you're having a wedding around a major holiday?  Can the RSVP timeline then be moved up a bit since a lot of people plan out their holidays in advance?


    you might want to consider SAVE THE DATES in that circumstance
  • One month is about the earliest you can do.
  • One month is about the earliest you can do.

    Thank you for answering this question in a polite way! I don't understand why people are so snippy on these message boards.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    One month is about the earliest you can do.
    Thank you for answering this question in a polite way! I don't understand why people are so snippy on these message boards.

    No one was being snippy. It is their straightforward, honest opinion that you may or may not want to hear.
  • In your opinion....
  • We did one month because our stationery lady needed names. We didn't actually need to get a final headcount in until 3 days before our wedding.
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