Listing deceased parent in wedding program

tonksandlupin

Hi ladies. I'm planning my wedding programs which my Man of Honor, a graphic designer, has graciously offered to design for me. But since we're basically starting from scratch with the design I don't have any kind of format to follow. I know I want to list my parents and FI's parents on them somewhere.

My stepdad passed away suddenly just over a year ago, and since we were super close and he helped raise me I would feel wrong not including him as one of my "parents". What would be the appropriate way to list the name of a deceased parent?

Thanks!

 

itzMS

tonksandlupin said:

Hi ladies. I'm planning my wedding programs which my Man of Honor, a graphic designer, has graciously offered to design for me. But since we're basically starting from scratch with the design I don't have any kind of format to follow. I know I want to list my parents and FI's parents on them somewhere.

My stepdad passed away suddenly just over a year ago, and since we were super close and he helped raise me I would feel wrong not including him as one of my "parents". What would be the appropriate way to list the name of a deceased parent?

Thanks!

 

You can do an "In memory" section on the back page of the program. It's not appropriate to list the deceased as part of the Wedding Party.

For example, as a guest, I often use a program to refresh my memory on or learn the parents' names so I can introduce myself. Imagine any guests who may not know your stepfather has passed if you list him with your mother in your program.... "Nice to meet you, Mrs Bridesmom! I'd also like to introduce myself to Mr. Bridesstepdad, can you point me in his direction?"

Ooops. Yeah, no.

tonksandlupin

Thanks, itzMS. This situation is actually kind of what I'm afraid of... since my mom is dating now and her BF is coming to the wedding, I wouldn't want a guest who doesn't know them to walk up to mom's BF and be like "Hi  Mr. Bridesstepdad!"

But at the same time I feel weird leaving him off the list of parents. It looks, I dunno, empty without his name. I guess an "in memory" section could work but I don't want to call a lot of attention to it. I just wanted to acknowledge that he was one of my parents.

If there's another way to include him that isn't inappropriate, I am open to any suggestions!

itzMS

Why not pin a locket with his picture to your bouquet? You could wrap your bouquet with one of his neckties. Did he ever gift you (or your mom) a piece of jewelry you could wear?

I used fabric from a dress my father bought me as a wrap for my bouquet. It was subtle, but meaningful to me.

Jen4948

tonksandlupin said:

Thanks, itzMS. This situation is actually kind of what I'm afraid of... since my mom is dating now and her BF is coming to the wedding, I wouldn't want a guest who doesn't know them to walk up to mom's BF and be like "Hi  Mr. Bridesstepdad!"

But at the same time I feel weird leaving him off the list of parents. It looks, I dunno, empty without his name. I guess an "in memory" section could work but I don't want to call a lot of attention to it. I just wanted to acknowledge that he was one of my parents.

If there's another way to include him that isn't inappropriate, I am open to any suggestions!

Just having such a section wouldn't call a lot of attention to it unless your officiant read it out loud during the service.  It's a nice way of remembering deceased loved ones while not tearjerking.

tonksandlupin

itzMS said:

Why not pin a locket with his picture to your bouquet? You could wrap your bouquet with one of his neckties. Did he ever gift you (or your mom) a piece of jewelry you could wear?

I used fabric from a dress my father bought me as a wrap for my bouquet. It was subtle, but meaningful to me. 

I REALLY like this idea. It's very sweet and personal. Thanks for the suggestions!