Have to invite FSIL to Bachelorette Party?

undercvrbride

Here is the gist: I am trying to figure out if I absolutely HAVE to invite my FSIL to my potential bachelorette party next Spring. I want to figure this out ahead of time, because it is a tricky issue. She lives in the same city as my fiance and I do. She and I are not friends, but are on sort-of polite terms. She usually is not very nice to me and has never invited me to hang out with her and her friends, (even when I just moved here from another city and didn't know anyone) so I don't see why she would be upset or anything if she didn't get invited. I am afraid that my fiance will get pissed if I don't invite her also, since he knows I don't really like his sister. I want to avoid problems and arguments, but I know if I invite her, she will recant EVERY detail to my fiance's mother, and I will not be able to be myself or have fun at my own bachelorette party. Do I have to have it in another city to avoid issues? Or can I just not tell my fiance any details of the plans so he doesn't ask any questions? (what guy would purposefully ask about the guest list anyway?) Or can I have it in this city and just make sure to not talk about it in front of her at all, and if she asks about it, lie and tell her I am not having one?? I really don't like her, she has never been nice to me, we aren't friends and I don't want her there. Is that OK? Thoughts? Anyone else had this problem?

itzMS

undercvrbride said:

Here is the gist: I am trying to figure out if I absolutely HAVE to invite my FSIL to my potential bachelorette party next Spring. I want to figure this out ahead of time, because it is a tricky issue. She lives in the same city as my fiance and I do. She and I are not friends, but are on sort-of polite terms. She usually is not very nice to me and has never invited me to hang out with her and her friends, (even when I just moved here from another city and didn't know anyone) so I don't see why she would be upset or anything if she didn't get invited. I am afraid that my fiance will get pissed if I don't invite her also, since he knows I don't really like his sister. I want to avoid problems and arguments, but I know if I invite her, she will recant EVERY detail to my fiance's mother, and I will not be able to be myself or have fun at my own bachelorette party. Do I have to have it in another city to avoid issues? Or can I just not tell my fiance any details of the plans so he doesn't ask any questions? (what guy would purposefully ask about the guest list anyway?) Or can I have it in this city and just make sure to not talk about it in front of her at all, and if she asks about it, lie and tell her I am not having one?? I really don't like her, she has never been nice to me, we aren't friends and I don't want her there. Is that OK? Thoughts? Anyone else had this problem?

 

You can invite whomever you want. Being related doesn't require an invitation. None of my SILs were invited to my bachelorette party. Your DH can invite his sister to his bachelor party...it doesn't have to be "all men" and "all women"...just like bridal parties. Both genders can stand on either side. Some of my guy friends stopped out to my bachelorette. It's NBD.

undercvrbride

Oh cool. I like that idea Thanks for the tip!

AddieCake

I don't think I would invite anyone who wasn't nice to me to my party. 

undercvrbride

Of course. That makes perfect sense to me, and my mom, and all of my bridesmaids that I have talked to about it, but it won't make sense to my fiancé because he thinks his sister is nice (to me). He doesn't hear all of the B.S. comments she makes to me, nor does he see her roll her eyes at things I say. He is starting to realize that she is a self-centered, entitled Biotch, but he doesn't quite get it fully . . . yet. Hopefully within the next year, he will Fingers crossed ladies. Fingers crossed. Thank you for the support and making me feel like I am not a bad person for not wanting to invite her.

saric83

When talking to him, I wouldn't even bother breaking it down to you not inviting her because she's not nice to you.  Just let him know that it's very typical to only include the bride's nearest and dearest, so you're just keeping it to people you're really close with. 

ashleyep

She's not a bridesmaid right? If she is, and if your bridal party is throwing the bachelorette party, it wouldn't be very nice to exclude her. But if you really don't like her, I don't see why you would have her in your wedding party anyway.