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Addressing Invite Question

hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
500 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
FI has a Great Aunt that has pretty far advanced alzheimers. She was living with one of his aunt and uncles, but has recently been moved to a full care nursing home. I was planning on sending her her own invitation, even when she was living with the aunt and uncle - but FI's mom and grandma wants us to put her on the aunt and uncle's invite because of her mental state.

Is that okay, or should she still get her own invite?

My thought process was that she might enjoy getting mail, but if she can't comprehend what it is does it matter? Is it better to include her? (I don't know her - I've never met her so all I can go off of is what FIs mom and grandma tell me)

This is a confusing situation to me.

Thanks for your help!
image 209 Invited
image 151 Yes
image 46 No

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Re: Addressing Invite Question

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I would send one to her and then also be in contact with the aunt/uncle about it to let them know she is invited and to know if she is coming.                                                                       
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • ssmith232ssmith232 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with Addie. Definitely send her one and then communicate with your family about her attendance. I think it would be better to include her and have her not appreciate it than exclude her and have her feel slighted. 
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  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    fyrefly76 said:
    What's the etiquette on inviting her twice?  Once on aunt and uncle's invitation, once on her own?  That way, if she's lucid, she has her own invite, but aunt and uncle also know that she's invited and they can bring her if she's up to it.
    This is kind of what I was thinking. I'm now worried that I am going to run into trouble getting the address from FIs mom and I don't have phone numbers, she only gave me addresses for their family guest list.

    I will see what I can come up with. Thank you for the suggestions!
    image 209 Invited
    image 151 Yes
    image 46 No

    Daisypath Wedding tickers 

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  • ncharleyrosencharleyrose member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    How thoughtful of you to make sure that she gets invited.  I worked in an advanced alzheimers unit at a nursing home and the residents always love getting mail.  Especailly wedding invites, graduation annoucments and things like that.  Yes sometimes they forget who they are for but they still get excited that they were thought about.  Some of the ladies would carry them around with them and show all the other residents.  You could tell it really made their day.
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  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @ncharleyrose thanks for your input! Thats definitely what I was thinking, I know how excited I always am to get mail (and not junk or bills!) so I imagine most people are like that, especially elderly who may have lost touch with family, friends, etc in a situation where they are no longer in their home.

    I told FI's mom why I wanted to send one to her and she totally got it so they are getting me the address, and I am also going to include her name on the aunt and uncles invitation. I think it will work best for everyone, and we will just have to communicate as we get closer to the date about whether or not she is feeling well enough to attend.
    image 209 Invited
    image 151 Yes
    image 46 No

    Daisypath Wedding tickers 

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  • kathrynrfkathrynrf member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments
    edited July 2013
    I would suggest you make sure the aunt and uncle are completely willing to take her before you send her an invite.
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