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Wedding Party

Bridesmaid Selection

We just recently got engaged, but one of my biggest stresses already is figuring out the bridesmaid situation... My fiance' has 3 really close friends so I need at least 3 bridesmaids. Only problem is, I really don't have any close female friends. Believe me, I've tried building close female relationships but no one else seems to return the effort. I am very easy-going and easy to get along with so that is not the issue. I've even tried putting myself out there more since I am somewhat quiet and shy. I had a best friend all throughout high school and college but she has recently decided within the last couple of years that "we have gone our seperate ways", which is fine but it leaves me with really no one close. I have a few girlfriends but they're more the level of acquaintances still (no matter how hard I've tried). And my closest "acquaintance friend" is now moving back to her home state. I feel like asking these acquaintance to be my bridesmaids might be a bit awkward since we are still not close. I could use my fiance's friends' wives but I don't feel like it would be as exciting for me and might look bad to the guests (I don't want to look like I have no female friends, even if that is somewhat the truth). I don't have any sisters and using his sisters is not a good option. I only have one female cousin that lives across the country and we have never been close. I have a few male friends that I am closer to but that is not very traditional and a woman surrounded by men in pictures might not project the best image... I have tried everything and am trying not to be picky, but nothing seems like a good option. I feel kind of out of luck at this point!

Re: Bridesmaid Selection

  • If you're not close to any females, ask your male friends. Most people don't think twice about this anymore.
    And don't worry about your sides not being even.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    We just recently got engaged, but one of my biggest stresses already is figuring out the bridesmaid situation... My fiance' has 3 really close friends so I need at least 3 bridesmaids. Only problem is, I really don't have any close female friends. Believe me, I've tried building close female relationships but no one else seems to return the effort. I am very easy-going and easy to get along with so that is not the issue. I've even tried putting myself out there more since I am somewhat quiet and shy. I had a best friend all throughout high school and college but she has recently decided within the last couple of years that "we have gone our seperate ways", which is fine but it leaves me with really no one close. I have a few girlfriends but they're more the level of acquaintances still (no matter how hard I've tried). And my closest "acquaintance friend" is now moving back to her home state. I feel like asking these acquaintance to be my bridesmaids might be a bit awkward since we are still not close. I could use my fiance's friends' wives but I don't feel like it would be as exciting for me and might look bad to the guests (I don't want to look like I have no female friends, even if that is somewhat the truth). I don't have any sisters and using his sisters is not a good option. I only have one female cousin that lives across the country and we have never been close. I have a few male friends that I am closer to but that is not very traditional and a woman surrounded by men in pictures might not project the best image... I have tried everything and am trying not to be picky, but nothing seems like a good option. I feel kind of out of luck at this point!


    You definitely do NOT need even sides. This question gets asked here allllllllllll the time. Trust me, not one person will care if your FI has 3 attendants and you have zero. Your attendants can also be male.

    There is honestly no need for even sides in a wedding party. You'll be just fine!

  • You do not need "at least three BMs".  What you need to do is ask whoever you are closest to.  That could mean close guy friends, family members (Aunts), your Mom if you two are close.  And there is nothing wrong with not having anyone.

    As for your feelings about having guys stand on your side.  Why are you so concerned what type of impression your pictures will give off?  As long as they are your nearest and dearest why do you give a crap what others will think?


  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2013
    Why do you need at least 3 bridesmaids just b/c he has 3 close friends? And why do they need to be women?  I believe if you have to hem and haw and be stressed over who to have in your wedding party, you're doing it wrong. Your wedding party should be made up of the people you could call at 3 a.m. if you needed to hide a body. I had 2 bridesmaids, and my husband had 1 female attendant. It's fine and doesn't send any message to anybody about anything other than to say, "These people must be the bride and groom's closest friends." 






    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Pick who you are close to. That's it. My FI has 3 people on his side, I have 2 on mine. FI has his brother and 2 friends (one female), I have my 2 best friends. There are no rules about who is in the wedding party. I've been to weddings where there have been even sides and odd sides, and TBH I've never noticed until I have thought about it when a question like this is asked. I have never sat in a church and done a head count, and your guests won't either.

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