Soooo close to wedding planning...

kmmssg

Well, I KNOW my dd's BF is going to propose because I know he called and spoke to my ex-h.  I KNOW they have been ring shopping and that her finger is too small for anything out of the case and a ring has been ordered.  And....I KNOW they are talking about a particular day in March!  

However, we are all whispering amongst ourselves and waiting for the big phone call.  I couldn't have ordered a better guy for her (he's fellow military so we get along swimmingly) and I know they will have a wonderful life together but let's get this show on the road dude!

wittykitty14

You must be so excited!  I would be!

[Deleted User]

FI asked my parents over a month before proposing. My mother was ready to kill him.

AddieCake

Hooray! 

arrichter1

LMc0322 said:

FI asked my parents over a month before proposing. My mother was ready to kill him.

FI asked my parents over a YEAR before he proposed.  He did make it clear that it would be awhile before he asked, but no one was expecting it to be that long.  We were all getting pretty antsy...

Good luck being patient OP, that's exciting news!  

manateehugger

FI talked to both my parents a few days before he flew out to see me. My mom said she sat around waiting for a phone call the whole week.

Congrats! You'll have to update us when it happens.

brielise414

My mom was lucky. My FI called my dad and said it would either happen that night or the next. It happened just hours after he called. If he hadn't done it she would have had trouble keeping her mouth shut. My dad was so surprised he asked that he just burst out laughing. Nobody expected him to but I knew he would because he's big into tradition.

BlondieBia21

My FI told his mom that he had bought the ring.. Next time I went over there she says, "So I hear *FI's name* bought your ring!" He got really upset with her asking why she would bring it up and she said she didn't realize it was a surprise...... I told him it was okay because I knew we were to that point, but it would still be a surprise because I didn't know how or when he was going to propose. 

WIth that being said, be patient and don't mention it to anyone!!! You never know how long it may take him!

StephJean83

My FH didn't ask my dad's permission to marry me but he did ask for his and my mom's blessing. He is the only SIL(in his case FSIL) to ask them for it. I knew he had the ring as I was with him when he started designing it, at all meetings to approve the next step and the night he picked it up from the jeweler. We had gone to dinner on night and he went outside for a cigarette and called my parents. We ate dinner, stopped at home because our roommate said he left a candle burning and he proposed in our apartment complex parking lot, kneeling in the cold wet snow. He called his mom and said he was doing it Christmas morning, but instead he handed her a picture frame of pictures our neighbor took of him proposing.

Blue & White

My parents didnt answer the phone when I called haha. But it's fun because I can laugh at them now (plus my gma loves that she was first!)

kmmssg

Thank you all for sharing your stories!! I enjoyed that.

I'm guessing he didn't ask ex-h "permission" to marry our daughter (I would not have liked that!) but more for his blessing.  ex-h is a really old fashioned guy and I think it is the tradition more than anything else and I'm sure his heart swelled when C asked him.  Ex-h is driving his wife nuts though.

DD and her soon to be FI put an offer in on a house last weekend that was accepted.  She is moving 1 state away and about 4-5 hour drive.  We will all miss her, but in my book 4-5 hours ain't no big thing for a drive.

I think the reason I'm chomping at the bit is because they seem dead set on March and that is only 8 months away.  After the other 3 girls' weddings we know what vendors we want and they book up quickly.  With the last DD to get married we  had to book her photographer in Feb 08 for a May 09 wedding.  On the day we booked them, they only had two weekends left in all of 09!

Personally, I'd love it if they gave me a year since I'm not working right not, but they are both in their 30's and know what they are doing and they have personal reasons for the date they chose.  I just want them to get our preferred vendors.  After that, they can take all the time they want!

Yes CMG it DOES take patience - far more than when they were little.  When they were under my wing I could tell them what to do and be done with it.  Now, I have to set stern boundaries with myself and let them live their own lives while I watch from the sidelines.  It has made me immensely proud of them, but there are times when my patience does get the best of me.

Fortunately I have you ladies to have my excited little fit with so I can settle down and wait.  Soooo excited.

kmmssg

@firefly76 - or maybe you just don't want Vern to know about Sugar Lips?????  

ashleyep

fyrefly76 said:

I kinda understand the "wanting daddy's blessing" thing, but I still don't want it in my situation.  Vern knows how much both my parents adore him.  My mom constantly goes on about how he's "almost, maybe, possibly, soon-to-be her son", and Vern and my dad are sufficiently nerdy together and hang out without prompting (in silence watching TV, but not uncomfortably).  A blessing from my parents would be a given, and I still don't want my dad to know I'm getting engaged before I know I'm getting engaged.

To each her own. I knew I'd be getting engaged long before he actually got down on one knee. That part was basically just a formality. I know my parents appreciated the gesture and he ended up proposing only a week after he spoke with them. You just have to do what works for you.

manateehugger

Yeah, I and my parents loved that FI had talked to both of them before he proposed. I think it was a  gesture of respect for him. It also made my dad (not the warmest guy in the world) actually appreciate and like my FI as well.

kmmssg

fyrefly76 said:

kmmssg said:

@firefly76 - or maybe you just don't want Vern to know about Sugar Lips?????  

well there is that

(and you make me super happy commenting on that because that is one of my most favoritist response ever.  i particularly like the "squeeeeee!" i added in the middle.)

And just so you know, even though you and Sugar Lips will be together forever in high school and go to the same college and all that other crap, he still isn't invited to the wedding!

gailpete

Congratulations, how exciting.  Have you called and asked Lynn Lucas to reserve March for you until you have a firm date?

kmmssg

I have a call into Lynn to see if she is available but she hasn't called back yet.  I'm hoping!!!!

meggiemo

H asked my parents over a year before proposing AND my Gram spilled the beans that he was asking before he even asked. So I knew, my parents knew, Gram knew, AND she told the entire family. It was a looong year for both of us!

Edited: Changed FI to H. Still not used to it

kmmssg

@meggiemo - I'm sure it was!  At least it is my daughter, the bride, who knows all this stuff and told her sister and I.

Ajuliana

kmmssg said:

Thank you all for sharing your stories!! I enjoyed that.

I'm guessing he didn't ask ex-h "permission" to marry our daughter (I would not have liked that!) but more for his blessing.  ex-h is a really old fashioned guy and I think it is the tradition more than anything else and I'm sure his heart swelled when C asked him.  Ex-h is driving his wife nuts though.

DD and her soon to be FI put an offer in on a house last weekend that was accepted.  She is moving 1 state away and about 4-5 hour drive.  We will all miss her, but in my book 4-5 hours ain't no big thing for a drive.

I think the reason I'm chomping at the bit is because they seem dead set on March and that is only 8 months away.  After the other 3 girls' weddings we know what vendors we want and they book up quickly.  With the last DD to get married we  had to book her photographer in Feb 08 for a May 09 wedding.  On the day we booked them, they only had two weekends left in all of 09!

Personally, I'd love it if they gave me a year since I'm not working right not, but they are both in their 30's and know what they are doing and they have personal reasons for the date they chose.  I just want them to get our preferred vendors.  After that, they can take all the time they want!

Yes CMG it DOES take patience - far more than when they were little.  When they were under my wing I could tell them what to do and be done with it.  Now, I have to set stern boundaries with myself and let them live their own lives while I watch from the sidelines.  It has made me immensely proud of them, but there are times when my patience does get the best of me.

Fortunately I have you ladies to have my excited little fit with so I can settle down and wait.  Soooo excited.

From the other side, my mother is also trying to make me hire all the same vendors as they did for my brothers reception. I don't actually want them! She and my dad are being insistent and she went ao far as to book a meeting with planners (who I strongly dislike) without inviting me. Please be mindful that even if you are contributing, your daughter is the onw getting married and she may not want to have the exact same wedding as her sisters.

DaisyMaeMommy

kmmssg said:

Well, I KNOW my dd's BF is going to propose because I know he called and spoke to my ex-h.  I KNOW they have been ring shopping and that her finger is too small for anything out of the case and a ring has been ordered.  And....I KNOW they are talking about a particular day in March!  

However, we are all whispering amongst ourselves and waiting for the big phone call.  I couldn't have ordered a better guy for her (he's fellow military so we get along swimmingly) and I know they will have a wonderful life together but let's get this show on the road dude!

So exciting!

FH didn't "ask permission" to marry me, but he did talk to my Stepfather and my Mother about them giving us their blessing. They enthusiastically said they'd love to have him as a son-in-law! 

winelover123

That's so exciting! FI spoke to my parents before he asked me - I'm not sure if he asked their permission or for their blessing. He bought the ring a few months in advanced. I think everyone knew but me. I was very impressed that both he and all my friends and family could keep it a secret for so long!

kmmssg

Ajuliana said:

Thank you all for sharing your stories!! I enjoyed that.

I'm guessing he didn't ask ex-h "permission" to marry our daughter (I would not have liked that!) but more for his blessing.  ex-h is a really old fashioned guy and I think it is the tradition more than anything else and I'm sure his heart swelled when C asked him.  Ex-h is driving his wife nuts though.

DD and her soon to be FI put an offer in on a house last weekend that was accepted.  She is moving 1 state away and about 4-5 hour drive.  We will all miss her, but in my book 4-5 hours ain't no big thing for a drive.

I think the reason I'm chomping at the bit is because they seem dead set on March and that is only 8 months away.  After the other 3 girls' weddings we know what vendors we want and they book up quickly.  With the last DD to get married we  had to book her photographer in Feb 08 for a May 09 wedding.  On the day we booked them, they only had two weekends left in all of 09!

Personally, I'd love it if they gave me a year since I'm not working right not, but they are both in their 30's and know what they are doing and they have personal reasons for the date they chose.  I just want them to get our preferred vendors.  After that, they can take all the time they want!

Yes CMG it DOES take patience - far more than when they were little.  When they were under my wing I could tell them what to do and be done with it.  Now, I have to set stern boundaries with myself and let them live their own lives while I watch from the sidelines.  It has made me immensely proud of them, but there are times when my patience does get the best of me.

Fortunately I have you ladies to have my excited little fit with so I can settle down and wait.  Soooo excited.

From the other side, my mother is also trying to make me hire all the same vendors as they did for my brothers reception. I don't actually want them! She and my dad are being insistent and she went ao far as to book a meeting with planners (who I strongly dislike) without inviting me. Please be mindful that even if you are contributing, your daughter is the onw getting married and she may not want to have the exact same wedding as her sisters.

I do appreciate your caution here.  DD DOES want the same vendors and has okayed the phone calls for availability.  I may be freaking over the moon here, but she and her FI still call the shots and I try to stay mindful of that.

ETA - the weddings will be NOTHING alike at all!  Same reception venue, same caterer, same DOC, but they will look nothing similar to each other.  That was my first concern.