Wedding Etiquette Forum

Well wishes dance

My parents are pushing for me to do the dollar dance. Which I won't, for obvious reasons. It's been a family tradition for a long time now. I personally don't get offended when other people do this, but it's just not my style, and I don't want to ask guests for money.

Can I just set up a station to fill out well wishes, and they can give me those during the apron dance? Instead of putting well wishes in a box or on a tree, and instead of paying money to dance with me? I know the alternative is to just not do it at all, but my parents would be really disappointed. So I'm just trying to compromise.

Re: Well wishes dance

  • My parents are pushing for me to do the dollar dance. Which I won't, for obvious reasons. It's been a family tradition for a long time now. I personally don't get offended when other people do this, but it's just not my style, and I don't want to ask guests for money.

    Can I just set up a station to fill out well wishes, and they can give me those during the apron dance? Instead of putting well wishes in a box or on a tree, and instead of paying money to dance with me? I know the alternative is to just not do it at all, but my parents would be really disappointed. So I'm just trying to compromise.
    Yes. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • WHAT is the apron dance?

    I was at a wedding once where the coasters said "Advice for the Newlyweds" and you could write something in. They were collected at the end of the night. I don't think you could read my advice over the red wine stains however.
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  • PDKH said:

    You could have a fish dance - every guest has to put a fish in your bowl before you dance with them.

    "Well fishes dance"
  • PDKH said:
    PDKH said:

    You could have a fish dance - every guest has to put a fish in your bowl before you dance with them.

    "Well fishes dance"
    You get an extra 30 seconds with the bride/groom if your fish is still alive.
    Bahahaha

    In all seriousness though, there are some people on this site who will have a problem with anything derivative of the money dance. Since you understand you don't HAVE to have one but want to compromise, that's fine. People tend to enjoy putting their two cents in, so asking for advice/well wishes will surely go over just fine. Good for you for not doing the money dance though, that always rubs me the wrong way...
  • I'm not sure how this idea would stop someone who wants to give you money anyway.

  • PDKH said:

    You could have a fish dance - every guest has to put a fish in your bowl before you dance with them.

    Totally thought you were serious until I saw all the loves.

    I was picturing a bunch of people on the dance floor putting goldfish crackers in an apron the bride had to wear.



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  • I'm not sure how this idea would stop someone who wants to give you money anyway.
    But assuming they were very clear that the point was the well / the fishes / the slips of paper / etc, if someone still chooses to give money, that's on them and totally their choice.

    I've been to weddings that did this and I never once thought of it as "they're being sneaky and pretending they aren't having the dollar dance but I know they're totally doing this because they hope we give them money anyway." I always figure anyone that would plan that in the first place wouldn't have any qualms about doing a real dollar dance outright.
    So this kind of thing isn't something I personally side-eye or assume is a ploy for money. Just my 2-cents.
  • fyrefly76 said:

    PDKH said:

    You could have a fish dance - every guest has to put a fish in your bowl before you dance with them.

    Totally thought you were serious until I saw all the loves.

    I was picturing a bunch of people on the dance floor putting goldfish crackers in an apron the bride had to wear.
    And I was thinking Beta Fish which would then fight to the death while the guest placed bets.  Or do you think that would be poor form?
    Assuming the fish match the wedding colors, it's definitely not poor form. In fact, I think it's a requirement of the Betta Fish Death Match Dance. 
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  • snippet17 said:
    I'm not sure how this idea would stop someone who wants to give you money anyway.
    It would not stop anyone to not give money, but at least she is not asking people to give her money for a 5 second dance, a shot of whiskey, and a piece of cake. 
    This. If someone wants to hand me money at any time, go right ahead, but my hand is not out already asking for it. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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