So, I was adopted, and when I turned 18 I met my birthmother and her family. I have stayed friends with my birthmother, but I'm not really all that close to her family. I'll see them when she's in town, but I don't go out of my way to see them other than that.
My fiance and I decided a couple of months ago that planning a wedding was way too stressful, so we are going to Vegas in March 2014. Our parents and some of our close friends and family members (including my birthmother and her husband) are going with us, but we're just getting married in a Vegas wedding chapel, nothing big, no reception, no formal invitations, maybe we'll go to lunch after.
This past weekend, my birthmother was in town because one of her nieces graduated from high school. My fiance and I went to the graduation party, mostly to see my birthmother, and every single member of her family came up to us to congratulate us on our engagement, and to let us know that they would try to be there in Vegas. My birthmother's father even told me he was already planning to take time off so he could be there.
Ok, I never told any of these people that we were getting married in Vegas, let alone that they were invited! They must have heard it from my birthmother! The problem is that I don't really want any of these people to be there, mainly because the point of doing it in Vegas was so that we wouldn't have to worry about invitations and plans and all that mess! Plus, the more people who go, the more people we're going to have to carve out time to see, and we only plan on spending about 4 days there so we really don't want to spend our entire trip hanging out with people who just assumed they were invited.
How do I tell them they're not invited?? Should I talk to my birthmother about it? The whole situation really kind of offends me, because I never once told her that I was inviting her family, but she seems to have assumed that it was ok for her to invite them herself. How do I handle this situation?