Stock The Bar Party

rkbo

Hi all, I am the MOH for a friend that is also getting married and is asking my advice on a stock the bar party. 

She is looking for wording for the invite. Its just an evite or FB invite, so its not a formal invite thru the mail so it doesn't need to be formal.

She found this online, but thought maybe some other wording might be a little better. 

Soon (bride's name) & (groom's name)
will no longer be single, the wedding date is not too far
So let's get together to help stock the bar!

I personally have never had one of these parties, nor have I been to one, so I am not familiar with it at all. 

Any suggestions would be great!

AllieBear725

Please tell her not to do this. Asking any guest to open their wallet to help host them properly is very distasteful. Tell her to host what she can afford and nix this party all together. 

manateehugger

Eeeh, I'm used to "Stock the Bar" parties, but usually it's for people who just bought a home or started renting a new place (basically a housewarming party).  

Are they trying to get people to stock the bar for their actual reception? That seems ridiculously rude.

QueerFemme

rhawndas said:

Hi all, I am the MOH for a friend that is also getting married and is asking my advice on a stock the bar party. 

She is looking for wording for the invite. Its just an evite or FB invite, so its not a formal invite thru the mail so it doesn't need to be formal.

She found this online, but thought maybe some other wording might be a little better. 

Soon (bride's name) & (groom's name)
will no longer be single, the wedding date is not too far
So let's get together to help stock the bar!

I personally have never had one of these parties, nor have I been to one, so I am not familiar with it at all. 

Any suggestions would be great!

I am generally now a fan of "theme" showers like this.  But, I get that people do it.  If this is for them to stock their HOME bar, I can let it slide.

If they are asking people to stock the bar for their wedding reception, do NOT host this party. It's tacky as hell. 

QueerFemme

PS - if this is for a home bar, and you are going to proceed with this. there is no need for a "cutesy" poem. Just use regular invitation wording:

You are invited to a
"Stock the bar" Wedding shower

in honor of:

Brides's name

and

Groom's name

Saturday, [month, year] at [time]

123 Main Street, City, State, Zip

Please RSVP to:  Rhawndas at (123) 456-7890

itzMS

jss0302 said:

I've been to a stock the kitchen recipe shower. The couple had already had two showers, so we decided to each bring a few recipes with an ingredient or two from one of the recipes.

I love recipe showers.

Stock the bar showers are silly. Most people only have at most 2-3 liquors they prefer...so the rest either sits there for years or gets regifted.

NYCBruin

I don't object to stock the bar showers any more than I object to any other themed showers.  Not really my jam, but whatever.

If it's going to be a stock the bar shower, you don't need a cute poem.

I read your post as saying that your friend is throwing her own shower?  Did I just read that wrong?  If that is what she is doing, please tell her that it's very rude and gift grabby to throw yourself a party where the whole point is that people buy you things.

harper0813

Your friend is asking you to throw her a stock the bar party? If a friend did that to me, I'd go have a STALK the bar party. That wasn't very tasteful of your friend.

I don't find them too horrendous - I wouldn't throw one, but it isn't the worst shower faux pas there is. QueerFemme's wording looks good.

rkbo

Sorry, to clarify, she is not asking me to host it for her. I am in cali and she is on east coast. Just was asking my advice on the wording. It is definitely not her bridal shower and they did just move into an apartment together about a month or so ago. 

BTW, That recipe shower sounds awesome! I am personally not having any showers for my wedding, but that is one I would actually consider if I didn't hate being the center of attention sooo much. lol

Jen4948

If you were taking it upon yourself to throw your friend a stock the bar party, that could be fun, but you wouldn't need any special or "cute" wording for the invitation.

If your friend asked you to throw her this party or plans to do this for her reception, it would be very rude, because you (generic from here on in) aren't supposed to ask anyone else to host a party for you or solicit funding for your reception-you're supposed to cover the costs yourself for any amenities you offer your guests.  "Cute poems" in the invitation wording would magnify the insult to the guests.

NYCBruin

rhawndas said:

Sorry, to clarify, she is not asking me to host it for her. I am in cali and she is on east coast. Just was asking my advice on the wording. It is definitely not her bridal shower and they did just move into an apartment together about a month or so ago. 

BTW, That recipe shower sounds awesome! I am personally not having any showers for my wedding, but that is one I would actually consider if I didn't hate being the center of attention sooo much. lol

Wait, so who is hosting the party?

If she is hosting, eek.  It's really tacky to throw a party in your honor and demand gifts on the invitation.

manateehugger

In that case, I'd recommend that you tell her to leave off the wedding aspect of it. Just have a "You're invited to a stock the bar party!" invitation.

This alcohol is for their personal bar right? Not for the wedding?

rkbo

Good question, I am pretty sure it is for their personal bar, not the wedding. 

AllieBear725

Yeah, leave out anything wedding oriented on that invite. It sounded to me like it was to stock alcohol for her reception. 

rkbo

I would assume they are since its their home. 

Out of curiosity, who do housewarming parties get thrown by? Is it not the couple? 

When I was 19 and got my first apartment, I threw my own housewarming, lol, maybe I didn't know the proper etiquette. 

Jen4948

Housewarming parties are thrown by the homeowners/tenants.

AllieBear725

Housewarming is thrown by the couple, but it's rude to ask for gifts. 

NYCBruin

Housewarming parties are thrown by the people that live there, but it's very rude to ask/demand gifts.

arrippa

I am not going to lie, but I want a stock the bar party. I am tired of drinking Two Buck Chuck.

rkbo

haha, Moe! Me too, my first thought is to find a friend and talk them into hosting one for me, but the instant I tell them about it THEY will want me to throw them one too!! 

cwaggoner07

I've heard of them, and they are common in H's home state, Arkansas. I think they're neat, and I don't have an issue with it. But I usually associate them with people moving in together, whether getting married or not.

cwaggoner07

@jss0302, he grew up in Harrison and went to school in Fayetteville. We live in Dallas, and I have never heard of them outside of his group.

ETA: I've lived in and around Dallas my whole life.

manateehugger

Grew up in Missouri. Stock the Bar parties are a common form of housewarming parties for us.

I don't have an issue with the really either. I usually bring a bottle of booze to a housewarming party anyway.

[Deleted User]

Wait, people have housewarming parties and request gifts? What the hell?

NYCBruin

LMc0322 said: Wait, people have housewarming parties and request gifts? What the hell?


That was my thought, too!  I usually bring booze to a housewarming party, but if you request it...well I might just "accidentally" open that bottle of Johnnie Walker and drink it myself.

AllieBear725

In my circle a housewarming party is implied alcohol. I wouldn't ever put it as a requirement on an invite though. 

[Deleted User]

AllieBear725 said:

In my circle a housewarming party is implied alcohol. I wouldn't ever put it as a requirement on an invite though. 

Same.  We bring booze, but I find it incredibly rude to theme a party like that.  If you're hosting a party, host it,. Don't ask people to bring you gifts.

NYCBruin

fyrefly76 said:

I actually threw myself a "Help me Empty the Bar" party.  When I moved into my own place, dad "helped" by giving me all the bottles of his crap liquor; Apple Pucker, Cinnamon stuff, blue stuff, etc.  After moving and taking bottles of this crap to new apartments several times, I decided it was time to get rid of it all.  Instead of a BYOB, I had them bring their favorite mixer, so cranberry juice, tonic, diet soda, etc.  We got crazy boozy, created a drink called Nerds (that tasted like the candy consisting of cranberry juice, blue pucker, 7up, and some crappy watermelon kiwi stuff I had), and had a generally good time.

When I was in college, there were always a handful of these at the end of the semester and they were always a blast.  Oh how I miss those days!

Pepper6

LMc0322 said:

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AllieBear725 said:

In my circle a housewarming party is implied alcohol. I wouldn't ever put it as a requirement on an invite though. 

Same.  We bring booze, but I find it incredibly rude to theme a party like that.  If you're hosting a party, host it,. Don't ask people to bring you gifts.

Same here.  If we get invited to a housewarming party, I generally bring some form of alcohol, depending on the people.  But I'd be less inclined to bring something if the invitation specifically request that I do.  I give gifts out of generosity, not obligation.

Dreamergirl8812

moemacWed30594 said:

I am not going to lie, but I want a stock the bar party. I am tired of drinking Two Buck Chuck.

I feel you.

Keith+Brenna

My friend had a stock the bar party for their wedding. I did not attend. They had so many different types of alcohol, that no one drank the same thing more than once. To have to switch wines every glass was horrible.