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Dad in motorcycle accident one month before wedding; how should we handle the dance?

Hello,

my dad was in a motorcycle accident the other day (thankfully his head is fine, mostly suffering from pain and bruising). His heel caught in the motorcycle and partially detached (which likely saved his life, since it kept him from flying off). He is still in the hospital right now but may need to have his foot amputated. As a planner, I just want to have a backup plan for the father-daughter dance. I am anticipating that he will likely be in a wheelchair or have a cane when we go down the aisle (I figured one of my brothers could walk with us if necessary), but I'm not sure what to schedule for what normally would be the father-daughter dance. My dad's 74, so the dance was going to be a lot for him even fully healthy, so I would like to have a similar moment at the reception that wouldn't be taxing on his body. Of course the best case scenario is that he can handle it, but I don't think he will be able to (nor would I really want him to try).

I feel like a photo montage of dad-daughter pictures feels kind of strange and funeral-y...do you agree? I'm also fine with not having a dance type of situation, but he and I were both looking forward to the dance (we had chosen Chubby Checker's' "The Twist" because it has a lot of meaning for us), so I think it would be fun if he and I could have a similar personal moment. Have you ever seen a father-daughter moment that isn't a dance?

Let me know what you think; I really have no ideas on this. Thanks!


Re: Dad in motorcycle accident one month before wedding; how should we handle the dance?

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    itzMSitzMS member
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    Hello,

    my dad was in a motorcycle accident the other day (thankfully his head is fine, mostly suffering from pain and bruising). His heel caught in the motorcycle and partially detached (which likely saved his life, since it kept him from flying off). He is still in the hospital right now but may need to have his foot amputated. As a planner, I just want to have a backup plan for the father-daughter dance. I am anticipating that he will likely be in a wheelchair or have a cane when we go down the aisle (I figured one of my brothers could walk with us if necessary), but I'm not sure what to schedule for what normally would be the father-daughter dance. My dad's 74, so the dance was going to be a lot for him even fully healthy, so I would like to have a similar moment at the reception that wouldn't be taxing on his body. Of course the best case scenario is that he can handle it, but I don't think he will be able to (nor would I really want him to try).

    I feel like a photo montage of dad-daughter pictures feels kind of strange and funeral-y...do you agree? I'm also fine with not having a dance type of situation, but he and I were both looking forward to the dance (we had chosen Chubby Checker's' "The Twist" because it has a lot of meaning for us), so I think it would be fun if he and I could have a similar personal moment. Have you ever seen a father-daughter moment that isn't a dance?

    Let me know what you think; I really have no ideas on this. Thanks!


    I know you're both excited...but I think you need to wait until 2-3 days before the wedding to decide. Please don't put any pressure on your dad. If he feels like he'd let you down not doing the dance and does it against his doctor's wishes...that could be bad news.

    The father-daughter dance is far from a requirement. So you might just need to skip it in order to preserve your dad's health.

    Definitely skip photo montages. They're boring for guests and kind of AW'ish.

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    Ok, yeah. I just didn't want to hear an idea that would have required me to run out and start getting all kinds of supplies or things a day or two before the wedding, so if there's any prep work I can do now for a Plan B, I'd like to do it. I'm definitely not putting any pressure on him. I'm just thankful that he's alive and (so far, knock on wood) healthy.
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    I wouldn't worry about it.  You're not going to make anything.  You don't need something to remember your dad-- he'll be there in the flesh.  So I can't even imagine what you'd make or need. I wouldn't worry about it right now.  Even if you don't mean to, it will really put pressure on him.
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    Sounds good. And yeah, if there was something fun to replace it with I'd be all in, but I think you're right, Liatris. I can't think of anything that's a remotely interesting or fun substitute. I figured I'd see if anyone had ever seen something like this, but I guess not! The plan for now is no dance!
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    I'm so sorry that happened to your dad. Little reminders of how precious life is can be a real blessing before a wedding. How can you be stressed when all of your loved ones are there and healthy?



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    Wheelchair dancing is a real thing. Check out YouTube; it has wedding dances of people who aren't pros. If he's up to it, he could do a twist-appropriate dance from the waist up.
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    I have one friend who's dad was in a chair for her wedding, and they did manage a dance together. She sat in his lap and he kind of wheeled around the dance floor (he had a power chair). But she was a tiny little thing, barely 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds including her dress, so it was doable for them. For them it was more about the moment than actually dancing.
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    A few years ago, my one aunt got married to a man whose mother was wheelchair bound. I know it's not quite the same as a "father/daughter" thing, but, for the ceremony, the groom escorted his mother down the aisle by pushing her in her chair, and for the "mother/son dance", they played a song that had significant meaning to them while he sat next to her at her table and spent the duration of the song together talking to each other about ... well, I don't know, it was a sweet, private moment between them. But I did see that the photographer took a lot of pictures of the 2 of them sitting together while that was going on.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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    When I had an ankle problem, I danced quite happily while seated.

    If you feel that will be too awkward, what about having a father/daughter dance that includes the entire group? You and your dad go out, start dancing - then have the DJ invite out all fathers and their daughters present. It feels like a nice way of including everyone and acknowledging the special father/daughter bond without putting pressure on you and your dad as the centres of attention.

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