Wedding Etiquette Forum

Open Bar

My venue said state law limits open bars to four hours. My ceremony is at 5:30, cocktail hour from 6-7, then the rest of the reception from 7-12. If the bar is open for four hours starting at 6, that's only 6-10. That seems incredibly lame. Any thoughts on the matter?
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Re: Open Bar

  • Um yeah but its better than drunk drivers?
  • Why don't you take the bulk of your pictures pre-ceremony? Then you can skip the cocktail hour and go straight into the reception. Have it from 6-10.
  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @floridabride27 Thanks! That's one option my venue had suggested.

    @blue_bird Thank for your suggestion! Unfortunately we really don't want to do a first look.

    Another option they gave us would be not doing the four hours consecutively. So we could possibly not have it open during dinner so it could run later. I just really dislike the idea of not hosting any alcohol for the last two hours.
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  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @floridabride27 thanks, I found it judgmental also but didn't even want to start it. My guests are able to go to bars far past 10:00 and not drive home drunk.. Not seeing how wanting to host my bar later is encouraging drunk driving.
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  • I wasn't assuming anyone would. I was thinking that probably was the venues reasoning. Sorry I'm not very articulate or meticulas when it comes to writing every word out. I thought the question mark was a good enough.
  • Can you do a hosted bar (pay per drink) during the dinner hour?  People tend to drink less during dinner anyways.  If you have dinner for an hour and a half, then you're left with only a half hour at the end of the night without a bar. 

    Ditto PP on the absurdness of the drunk driving comment.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • SB1512SB1512 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited July 2013
    I just got married and my reception was from 7pm-12 (this included cocktail hour) and let me just say.......as much fun as I had, I really really wish our wedding had ended at 11pm instead of midnight.  I was exhausted, and wanted nothing more than just go to sleep by the time 11pm rolled around and I really struggled during the last hour.  5 hours initially sounded great and that it would give us plenty of time to visit with everyone......well our wedding only ended up being around 110 guests and 5 hours was more than enough time.  I'd say unless you are having a 300 person wedding, I think you can get away within having the cocktail hour/reception go from 6-11 and then just do a consumption host tab during the last hour.  4 hours should be plenty of time to visit with everyone and still dance and have a good time. 

    And, if you do like others suggested and take a lot of your photos before (not necessarily of you and groom, but other photos) you can probably make it to the second half of your cocktail hour and get a lot of visiting done there too.  FI and I did choose to do a first look and the majority of our photos beforehand.  After the ceremony we sent our WP in to cocktail hour, took a few more family photos and alone photos and then entered cocktail hour about 30 minutes after it started.  By the time it was time for dinner to start, we had greeted about 75% of our guests, and finished the rest of our table visits before the main course came out, leaving us plenty of time to enjoy the evening.
  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks @stagemanager14! We were actually already planning on taking some family shots before the ceremony, so that's perfect. We just didn't want to see each other. And thanks for your opinion on closing it, I can see why guests wouldn't like that. I just wish they could do an open bar for 5 hours, I feel like 4 is really short.

    @gypsybridetobe it did seem pretty condescending but now I see that's not how you meant it. I am sure that is the reasoning behind the four hour rule.. That or the venue just want to make the extra money from a host tab!
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  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @nycbruin I think that's a good idea. I would assume people get their drinks before dinner starts so they aren't getting up.

    @sb1512 thanks! I was debating if I should just end my reception an hour early because of this. I'm still unsure. 6-11 seemed short originally so we paid an extra $250 to make it 6-12. I'm not sure if that was a good decision.
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  • wiki8 said:
    @nycbruin I think that's a good idea. I would assume people get their drinks before dinner starts so they aren't getting up. @sb1512 thanks! I was debating if I should just end my reception an hour early because of this. I'm still unsure. 6-11 seemed short originally so we paid an extra $250 to make it 6-12. I'm not sure if that was a good decision.
    Another idea would be to also purchase a few bottles of wine to place on tables during the dinner hour.  Tell the wait staff to replace bottles as they empty (so they don't open all the bottles and you end up with a ton of open but full/half-full bottles of wine).  That will eliminate people getting up as much during dinner.  

    If you do this, I would still keep the bar open as a consumption/host bar since some people will prefer to stick with cocktails.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • I also think ending the reception at 11 is a better idea. And don't close the bar during dinner or split it up.  That is totally irritating to guests.  My guess is a lot of your guests will likely start leaving between 9:30 and 10 anyway.
  • @wiki8, you seem like a super down to earth and receptive to suggestions...I like you, stick around : ) 
  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @queerfemme thanks. I can definitely see closing it would be annoying. I think I'll just do consumption during dinner and hopefully there isn't a huge rush of people going to get drinks! As far as people leaving that early, I think they aren't the ones that would be utilizing the open bar anyway. My guest list is more of the stay and party all night, late night snack crowd.

    @bmorebride6 thanks! I don't plan on going anywhere!
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  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @kindasparkly I'm not sure, I'd have to ask. I just know they could only quote us for four hours because that was the max allowed. But they had a few suggestions about how to serve longer, like a consumption bar or *shivers* cash bar.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • If your venue allows it I'd do consumption/hosted bar for dinner hour and maybe for the last hour. At dinner people are seated and don't tend to be in line at the bar when they have food, so it should be a less expensive hour to pay by the drink. Same with the last hour, some guests have left and those there are nursing a drink to keep tipsy rather than trying get there. If it's pressing financially it's not ideal to close the bar during dinner, but it is a lot easier to take if bartenders or a sign let guests know that so they can be sure to get a drink or two before it closes.
  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @annathy03 thanks! That seems like the best option. I'm going to ask them if that would be okay.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • edited July 2013
    @floridabride27 Thanks! That's one option my venue had suggested. @blue_bird Thank for your suggestion! Unfortunately we really don't want to do a first look. Another option they gave us would be not doing the four hours consecutively. So we could possibly not have it open during dinner so it could run later. I just really dislike the idea of not hosting any alcohol for the last two hours.
    Maybe have the host tab for the dinner hour and the last hour? That sounds like it would be confusing for guests though.
    I don't think it would be confusing at all. As far as the guests are concerned the bar is just open the whole time. The only difference is that during those time periods the hosts would be paying per drink consumed instead of it just being a flat-rate per person to drink as much as they want. 

    I think this is the best solution; the dinner hour and last hour probably involve the fewest drinks consumed so it would be cheaper for the hosts.   
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