diy Til Death

AddieCake · July 2013

Gypsy has already answered many of these questions on a CC thread a week or so ago.

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/986654/noobie/p1

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

I am very accepted as an outsider. gypsies don't know I'm Mexican until they ask who is my mom and dad. They don't care because I am respect full and do everything their way. If I didn't want to wear long skirts and was very loud and didn't serve the elders well I'd have a harder time being accepted. I know of 2 elders in our family that are married to Hispanic ladies and the wives are very much respected. However there is a double standard. Women who marry outside the community are disowned and shunned.

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

I was going to execute my theme subtly. Sugar skulls on the cake. And some on my bracelet. I'm using bright colored flowers, paper flowers and lanterns. Papal picado and string lights. Loteria cards for escort cards and table numbers. Religious candles bright lanterns and flowers for centerpieces. I was supposed to do this by June. But since I'm postponing my wedding a whole year I am waiting to see if we change our mind. You never know I might changed my mind and do a Chanel theme wedding. Which is very gypsie.

bezelpup · July 2013

OP-

Here are some pictures from my wedding. My husband bought the cake topper from Amazon and our friends bought us the little figurines as presents (without knowing that our cake would have this theme!). The framed art came from Crescent City Skull Club (Etsy shop SkullTime) who are artists in New Orleans.

I don't think we are morbid or gothic. We just really like Day of the Dead art. It may not be to everyone's liking, but we don't like what most people consider traditional wedding decor.

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

@bezelpup I love the bottom cake !!! The whole set up is major.

daveANDkristen · July 2013

@GypsyBridetobe since you are already married in your culture and do not intend to become legally married I would urge you to consider your event in 2015 a 10 year anniversary party. Does your family consider you married now? Do you? Obviously your husband's family does consider you two married according to their customs, so I guess I don't understand the point of calling this a "wedding".

That being said, I think the ideas on your Pinterest board are very cute. I don't mind the sugar skulls for a wedding, and I love the festive colors. In OP's case, though, I agree with PPs that the dark colors and skulls take this in a morbid and Halloween-ish direction. OP you can certainly choose any theme you want (or none at all), but I think that you will have a hard time finding any wedding things with this theme.

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

I would like to exchange vows and and wear a wedding dress and cut the cake and have a first dance. I've never been asked if I would spend the rest of my life with him and I would like that. He's never been asked if he will be my husband. I would like to do that when we say I Do. A wedding shows that we want to be with each other. Instead of having to be with each other. I can't do a vow renewal if I never had vows.

daveANDkristen · July 2013

GypsyBridetobe said:

I would like to exchange vows and and wear a wedding dress and cut the cake and have a first dance. I've never been asked if I would spend the rest of my life with him and I would like that. He's never been asked if he will be my husband. I would like to do that when we say I Do. A wedding shows that we want to be with each other. Instead of having to be with each other. I can't do a vow renewal if I never had vows.

Yes, and I didn't say vow renewal, I said anniversary party. I realize that it's hard to see this from an outsider's perspective, just as it is hard for me to see this from your perspective. But you said you would like to ask him to be your husband, however holding this event will not make him any more your husband than he is today. Do you call him your husband now? Do your friends and family refer to you as a married couple?

A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are married. You don't intend to be married legally, and are already married culturally. So I'm finding it hard to see this as something other than a PPD.

bezelpup · July 2013

If the bridesmaids come down the aisle with glow in the dark skulls with candles stuck on the top, dressed like Morticia Addams, that might be Halloweenish to me. The color scheme alone wouldn't.

ETA: OP - search Till Death Wedding on Etsy and there are a lot of items that might inspire your DIY.

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

Its totally a PPD. No legal wedding is the definition of a PPD. I'm having it anyways your not convincing me other wise. And if you don't agree its OK. Basically you can call it whatever you want. I'm having a ceremony, white dress, sit down dinner, DJ ,open bar and cake. 10th year anniversary party, wedding, PPD. The name of it doesn't matter to me.

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

BTW if that came off like I'm mad or irritated I'm not. I understand your POV.

daveANDkristen · July 2013

GypsyBridetobe said:

Its totally a PPD. No legal wedding is the definition of a PPD. I'm having it anyways your not convincing me other wise. And if you don't agree its OK. Basically you can call it whatever you want. I'm having a ceremony, white dress, sit down dinner, DJ ,open bar and cake. 10th year anniversary party, wedding, PPD. The name of it doesn't matter to me.

Actually it does, you are the one who is calling it a wedding. As long as every single one of your guests knows that you are not actually getting married that day, knock yourself out. I would attend this event for one of my friends. But if I found out later that it was a fake wedding, you can bet I'd be all:

kinsey0628 · July 2013

GypsyBridetobe said:

I am very accepted as an outsider. gypsies don't know I'm Mexican until they ask who is my mom and dad. They don't care because I am respect full and do everything their way. If I didn't want to wear long skirts and was very loud and didn't serve the elders well I'd have a harder time being accepted. I know of 2 elders in our family that are married to Hispanic ladies and the wives are very much respected. However there is a double standard. Women who marry outside the community are disowned and shunned.

I apologize in advance for making this judgmental comment, but from what you're saying, your culture doesn't sound very respectful of women.

1.) Am I wrong?
2.) How do you feel about that? Is it hard as an outsider to JOIN a culture that seems to be anti-woman? (IMO from what you've said)

Also, sorry for the TJ.

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

I have no reason to lie about it. Everyone has known for years we are considered married and not legally.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

kinsey0628 said:

GypsyBridetobe said:

I am very accepted as an outsider. gypsies don't know I'm Mexican until they ask who is my mom and dad. They don't care because I am respect full and do everything their way. If I didn't want to wear long skirts and was very loud and didn't serve the elders well I'd have a harder time being accepted. I know of 2 elders in our family that are married to Hispanic ladies and the wives are very much respected. However there is a double standard. Women who marry outside the community are disowned and shunned.

I apologize in advance for making this judgmental comment, but from what you're saying, your culture doesn't sound very respectful of women.

1.) Am I wrong?
2.) How do you feel about that? Is it hard as an outsider to JOIN a culture that seems to be anti-woman? (IMO from what you've said)

Also, sorry for the TJ.

Just do a bit of research on Gypsy culture...you will answer your own question

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

And yes I will always call it a wedding. It doesn't matter to me what you call it.

daveANDkristen · July 2013

GypsyBridetobe said:

I have no reason to lie about it. Everyone has known for years we are considered married and not legally.

And they will know that you still won't actually be married following your party? Then cool.

kinsey0628 · July 2013

BMoreBride6 said:

Just do a bit of research on Gypsy culture...you will answer your own question

Yeah. Just interested in hearing from someone w/ 1st hand experience tho...

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

Women have an important role in culture. Its not anti woman its expecting more from women then men. We help the husband do everything with out a wife the man is nothing. We help make money take care of the house and the kids. A gypsy man is not equipped to handle normal household duties because its the mothers role to do it until marriage. We do everything the man does and more. We show respect and love by being over attentive and serving them. The men show love and respect by protecting and providing for wife and kids. A gypsy family is Very tight and are always together even for work.

GypsyWife_ · July 2013

Oh ya my whole family knows know gypsies don't do legal weddings. And I let them know its a gypsie wedding.

kinsey0628 · July 2013

GypsyBridetobe said:

Women have an important role in culture. Its not anti woman its expecting more from women then men. We help the husband do everything with out a wife the man is nothing. We help make money take care of the house and the kids. A gypsy man is not equipped to handle normal household duties because its the mothers role to do it until marriage. We do everything the man does and more. We show respect and love by being over attentive and serving them. The men show love and respect by protecting and providing for wife and kids. A gypsy family is Very tight and are always together even for work.

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate you sharing.