Just needed to vent a little......

CrtnJean86

Hi all,

I am new to the boards but I just needed a place to vent - I will apologize in advance if I offend anyone but just wanted to share my thoughts and hope that someone else out there is feeling the same. Are there any late 20's brides out there?? All of my high school friends have been married for over five years and I feel like I am so far behind. I know that in today's society, 27 (my age) is considered the best age to get married, but I still feel like I am on an island alone. Many of the bride shows feature young women in their early 20's which makes me feel so ancient, lol. While I am glad that I didn't get married right out of college (mainly because my ex is flake and I thank God every single day for saving me from that one), I do wish that I had met my FH a couple of years and now we would be at the point of starting a family. I have read many of the forums and this seemed like the right place to share my thoughts with hopefully a sympathic crowd. Thank you for listening to my ramblings; I don't have any siblings so I have wanting to get this off of chest. Be blessed everyone!

3/1/14 ~ My heart

[Deleted User]

A lot of people from my high school settled down quickly.. but there were also a lot that just had kids but didn't marry.  Our post-high school friends only started getting married recently.  The average age has been the ladies being in their late 20s.  I'll be 28 when FI and I get married.  I always thought I'd be DONE having kids by 30-- funny how that works out Getting married at 27 is not out of the ordinary at all, but I totally understand what you're feeling.

Tulips29

You're definitely not alone! I understand how you feel exactly. My fiance and are both will just turn 30 when we get married. I definitely though that I'd be married by 25 with at least 1 kid on the way. Well, at 25 I was single. I got out of a very long and very unhealthy relationship at 24 (at one point I thought I'd marry him) and I didn't meet my fiance until 26. On top of that, all of my friends were getting married at 22-23 and by 25 most of them were having kids. However, when I met my fiance, all of his friends were in relationships and just now started getting married in the last year. So don't stress it, 27 is still very young.

arrichter1

I'm also 27, and will be 28 by the time we get married on March 8.  FI will be 32.  I also always figured I'd be married by 25, but that's just not how my life panned out.  I used to get bummed out over it, but now I'm just excited that it's finally my turn!  I think I'm also somewhat fortunate in that while many of my friends have gotten married in the past 2-3 years, not very many have had kids yet so it doesn't feel like we're in drastically different life stages.  When you consider that you're going to be married to this guy until you're 80 (you know, give or take a few years), 27/28 is really quite young  Enjoy the planning, enjoy your wedding, and don't stress over it!  

CrtnJean86

Thanks everybody! I'm glad that I am not alone . 

LeighShahbazian

I totally understand where you are coming from as well! FI and I both went to grad school (I finished in '11 and then he started law school) so we will be getting married a little later than some of our friends who started working right after college but at 28 and 29 we are in a weird situation where our professional careers are JUST taking off so the thought of having a family or being able to afford a house seem so far off. What it comes down to is that the timing (and the man!!) are right for you at the right time and you enjoy every step of the way

rakkaya87

I am 26 and will be getting married 3 days before my 27th birthday.  My fiance is 28 and will turn 29 2 days before the wedding. (I know.. very eventful week!!)

I personally think early 20s you are still (or at least I was) trying to figure out things, especially what you want in the person youre going to spend the rest of your life with.  My last long but WRONG relationship ended at age 24.  I think numbers have nothing to do with this situation, it is way too important to base around a cliche age.  Most of the girls in their early 20s at bridal events are there just to play "house" in their fantasy dreamland anyway

alyssalang

I just turned 29....I thought for the longest time that I would be married and settled down by the time I was 24. Funny thing was, my fiance and I knew each other when I was 24, but we were just friends. It would have never worked out then because we were still figuring out who we were.

I also thought I would have had 1 or 2 kids by now, but as it turns out, I don't want them anymore, so I suppose its a good thing I haven't gotten married until now.

The other thing is that a good number of my high school friends that got married young and had kids are divorced and on second or third marriages, so there's something to be said for waiting until you're older as well. I personally was not mature enough at 23-24 to be a wife.

soontobemrsbuccheri

CrtnJean86 said:

Hi all,

I am new to the boards but I just needed a place to vent - I will apologize in advance if I offend anyone but just wanted to share my thoughts and hope that someone else out there is feeling the same. Are there any late 20's brides out there?? All of my high school friends have been married for over five years and I feel like I am so far behind. I know that in today's society, 27 (my age) is considered the best age to get married, but I still feel like I am on an island alone. Many of the bride shows feature young women in their early 20's which makes me feel so ancient, lol. While I am glad that I didn't get married right out of college (mainly because my ex is flake and I thank God every single day for saving me from that one), I do wish that I had met my FH a couple of years and now we would be at the point of starting a family. I have read many of the forums and this seemed like the right place to share my thoughts with hopefully a sympathic crowd. Thank you for listening to my ramblings; I don't have any siblings so I have wanting to get this off of chest. Be blessed everyone!

3/1/14 ~ My heart

I really thought that I would be married and have a couple of kids by the time I was in my mid-twenties but now, I'm 32 and have a 12 year old son.  I'll be 33 by the time my FI and I get married and we have plans to be pregnant with in a few months of the wedding, if he doesn't get me pregnant before the wedding (I gave him the OK for us to start trying come March 1st).  

My brother got married at 24/25 and he has a house and a 3 year old son.  Now, we are kind of in a competition with them to have the next grandkid.  lol.

Don't worry - a lot of people are getting married later in life...it happens.

katieg520

Girl, you are not alone. I am 32 and feel like an "old" bride because it seems like it's all for 22 year olds. This is, however, my second wedding, but I don't think I'm too old to be a bride. Just enjoy it, girl, and don't pay attention to the stereotypes.

chinadoll2013

CrtnJean86 said:

Hi all,

I am new to the boards but I just needed a place to vent - I will apologize in advance if I offend anyone but just wanted to share my thoughts and hope that someone else out there is feeling the same. Are there any late 20's brides out there?? All of my high school friends have been married for over five years and I feel like I am so far behind. I know that in today's society, 27 (my age) is considered the best age to get married, but I still feel like I am on an island alone. Many of the bride shows feature young women in their early 20's which makes me feel so ancient, lol. While I am glad that I didn't get married right out of college (mainly because my ex is flake and I thank God every single day for saving me from that one), I do wish that I had met my FH a couple of years and now we would be at the point of starting a family. I have read many of the forums and this seemed like the right place to share my thoughts with hopefully a sympathic crowd. Thank you for listening to my ramblings; I don't have any siblings so I have wanting to get this off of chest. Be blessed everyone!

3/1/14 ~ My heart

chinadoll2013

Don't ever feel bad about living life at your own pace. I'm 31 and getting married He is 30 yrs old (he calls me his old head lol). Neither one of us have kids. We are truely going to experience all the great things in life together. Think of your friends who are already married with kids as built in babysitters! They already know the deal. I'm sure they are all excited for you, and are giving you their 2 cents along the way. If you're an old bride them I'm an old bride.....and I'm not old

vt&dt

I'm 25 - FI is 30 on Friday.  Don't worry about it at all.  I almost got married when I was 21 and it would have been the biggest mistake of my life.  Not that all (or even most) young brides are making mistakes - but the few years after college before getting married have been so important for me to truly become my own person.

And (IMHO) great, healthy relationships only really happen between two people that can be their own person.

CrtnJean86

Thank y'all so much for the love. I don't really come on here that often but I am glad to know that I'm not alone. I have decided to just let the whole age thing go and just focus on getting married to a wonderful man.  

skatermegs

I hear ya girl! I'm 31, and my fiancée is 38. I feel so behind, since most of my friends are married and have kids already. But then, a lot who married early are also divorced. I feel like I know what I want more then I did when I was younger!

Chipmunk415

I'm 27, FI is 32. He's still finishing school, I finished law school and started practicing in 2012. I wanted to be done with school before thinking about a wedding.

Most folks from my high school class are a) married with kids, b) divorced with kids, or c) not married. Several college folks are married, or getting married.

FWIW, my sister got married at age 32, and my brother just got married at age 42.

 

I'd rather be getting married as a mature adult than as a still developing teen!

silver0319

I think accepted ages to get married vary greatly by your location.  FI is 32 and I'll be 30 when we get married.  While some of our friends started getting married around 25, we have several weddings we'll be attending this year of couples 32 and older.  

jeskacoles

I can totally understand where you're coming from, BUT what I tell myself is that "Every thing happens for a reason". I think about the types of guys I was dating in my early 20's and where I was in my life even. My FI is 31 (32 a week after our wedding) and I am 27. We have been together for almost 5 years and right now is the perfect time for us to take the next step. It's hard not to compare yourself to other people around you, but you just have to make sure you're doing what's right for you! 

xo

happymellow

First time bride at 37.  FI is first time, too.  He's older than I am.  Everyone does things at their own pace.  I just keep reminding myself I'm like a fine wine.  I get better with age.