Baby name vs in-law dog name

TheBaysideBride

Hi ladies - I need a reality check. I'm getting married on Saturday, and so emotions are pretty high right now. My FI's parents told us yesterday they want to name their new dog the same name FI and I have spoked at length about for a baby name - my grandfather's name. I 100 percent do not want them to use it, especially as they were saying how great (let's say) Jimmy Smith sounds. YES, my grandfather's name sounds good w/ my new last name - for a person!! not a dog!! and because they consider their dogs real, honest to god member of their family, they will literally call this dog Jimmy Smith. 

I am very close w/ my in-laws, and don't want to be the crazy bizatch, but they asked what I thought and if it really bothers me. I feel like I have to be honest. But part of me is like let it go, you can't call dibs on a name if you're not even pregnant (which is a whole new stress as I'm 145 years old (at least I feel that old)). And i know part of this is feeling like i'm losing all of my names at once - losing my last name after next week, not I won't want to use my grandfather's name if they're dog is called that.... 

So - let it go, or say something?? And please, remember I'm a few day from the wedding so feeling more sensitive than usual.....

thank you!! BB

bakerie

Definitely just let it go. You can still name your future child that name, it's not a big deal.

TheBaysideBride

thanks for the reality check guys!! I think considering I said "That was my grandfather's name and my first choice for a baby name"  that's about as direct as I should be without saying "don't do it."

I really appreciate the responses and the non-judgementalism - I know i'm definitely on the over-emotional side the week

SMarie89

TheBaysideBride said:

Hi ladies - I need a reality check. I'm getting married on Saturday, and so emotions are pretty high right now. My FI's parents told us yesterday they want to name their new dog the same name FI and I have spoked at length about for a baby name - my grandfather's name. I 100 percent do not want them to use it, especially as they were saying how great (let's say) Jimmy Smith sounds. YES, my grandfather's name sounds good w/ my new last name - for a person!! not a dog!! and because they consider their dogs real, honest to god member of their family, they will literally call this dog Jimmy Smith. 

I am very close w/ my in-laws, and don't want to be the crazy bizatch, but they asked what I thought and if it really bothers me. I feel like I have to be honest. But part of me is like let it go, you can't call dibs on a name if you're not even pregnant (which is a whole new stress as I'm 145 years old (at least I feel that old)). And i know part of this is feeling like i'm losing all of my names at once - losing my last name after next week, not I won't want to use my grandfather's name if they're dog is called that.... 

So - let it go, or say something?? And please, remember I'm a few day from the wedding so feeling more sensitive than usual.....

thank you!! BB

In my family, my step-mother's maiden name is Lilly. She has a very, very strong connection to her maiden name and the history that comes with it as does the entire family. In an homage to those strong family roots, she named the family dog Lilly. Lilly passed away a few years ago of old age. 

Now, my step-sister just had a new baby. She named the baby Lilly. Lilly Rose. And not once have I even thought relating the new baby to the dog. That would be ridiculous. Lilly is, and always has been known as, a family name. Just as I'm sure Jimmy Smith is. I think you need to calm down, take a deep breath, and stop coming up with drama that doesn't need to be drama.

jm22jm

Go ahead and be honest with them if you want, but as Liatris said you should leave the emotion out of it.  No one owns a name.

You can still use the name if you have a son.  Don't create drama with the in laws when it is quite possible you could have only daughters and then it's a non-issue.

elizabetheleven

My mom dated a guy once whos dog had the same name as me. It was strange. But whenever someone said the name no one automatically thought they were talking about the dog.
I'm pretty sure once you decide to have a child, people won't assume you're naming it after a canine.

Also, my grandfather who recently passed was named Walter. And I have a cat named Walter. Two different things that have nothing do with the other.

Relax and have an awesome wedding!

32daisies

It's okay, you're stressed right now. But everything is fine. 

My mother always told the story that when she was having her first baby, she had a name all picked out -- we'll say "Susan" -- but didn't use it because her very best friend was naming her daughter "Susan". She named hers "Grace" instead. Within a year, my mother and her BFF had drifted apart, never saw each other, and it felt silly that she'd avoided the name for that reason. The woman she met at her new job ten years later, and because her BFF for life? Had a daughter named "Grace". So go figure. There's no planning these things. If your in-laws get a dog, and name it that, they may end up calling it some nickname (our pets always have nicknames. My cat, George, thinks his name is "Pretty Boy", I swear), or even just the same name as your future son, but it won't matter.

It's always okay to freak out a little, as long as you know you're doing it. :-)

SuperMinty

Two years ago I adopted my dog and after weeks of thinking of names, called her Charlotte after a bar I liked in another country. I got phone calls from TWO friends saying I had "stolen" their future baby names. One of them said it was rude to use a human name for a dog. Um, okay.

Two years later, Charlie is still around and these people aren't remotely close to having children. But I do remember how crazy they acted.

aurianna

Kinda random, but kind of relevant: When I was a little girl (maybe 3 or 4?) my uncle had a dog that had my same name. I LOVED it. I thought it was the coolest thing in the whole world that the dog had my name. So even if they do name their dog that and you name a future son that, it might not bother the kid, so don't let it bother you.

In family conversation it was rare that anyone thought they were talking about the dog when they were talking about me and vice versa. (and the dog was there first)

This is no biggie.

Simply Fated

Did they know about you wanting to use that name for any future children? I'm confused about that.

hordol

I think it's okay to say, "Oh, funny you ask-- I love that name, actually. It was my grandfather's and we were thinking about giving our future child that name." That gets the point across politely.

However, they may still give the dog that name, and if they do it's nbd. I plan on naming my future son Sam (also my grandfather's name) and that is my mom's cat's name. I don't think anyone will think you picked the name because of the dog.

ETA fix my wording

misssunshine17

I get being sensitive about baby names. I found out FSIL wants to use the same family name as us, but you just need to let it go. You have better things to worry about right now! Good luck with your wedding!

BMoreBride6

I didn't read through all of these so sorry if this was already said, but I would honestly just tell them I wouldn't be comfortable calling a dog, or hearing family members call a dog by your grandfather's name.  

aurianna

BMoreBride6 said:

I didn't read through all of these so sorry if this was already said, but I would honestly just tell them I wouldn't be comfortable calling a dog, or hearing family members calls a dog but your grandfather's name.  

She's allowed to express how she feels... but trying to dictate what they don't name their dog... on the basis that it's a name she wants to name a child she doesn't have and may never have depending on if she has any sons or only daughters... it's not the way to ingratiate herself with the new in-laws.

My husband has 32 first cousins. If we'd had a dog and wanted to name it "Eddie" or "Sammy" or "Simon" let's say, and his grandmother said to us "I wouldn't feel comfortable hearing you call the dog by any of my grandsons' names" not only would it be awkward as heck, but it would be really annoying because that takes 20 names off the table.

It's just not worth a fight or a weird situation. Depending on the type of dog it might only be around 5-15 years anyway.

schellzinator

I've met a lot of dogs with my name. I'm also named after a horse...because my mom LOVED the name. I'd just let it go.

stantokm

I'd probably say, "I hope that you won't mind when we name our future son the same thing!" I don't think that there's anything wrong with telling them that that's one of your favorite names, but you can't ask or tell them not to name their dog something just in case you want to use it one day.

LavenderHoneyBee

LOL I love this. I would just say to MIL, "Well geez it'll be pretty awkward when your future grandbaby and your puppy have the same name, but hey as long as it doesn't bother you!!! "

Calypso1977

i wouldnt worry about it.  you arent pregnant with a male child, you may end up having 5 babies and they could be all girls.    i had a friend who had a name picked out for a little girl for years - and then a mutual friend had a daughter and "stole" the name.  the other friend did go on to have a child - and gee, it was a boy so no need for the "stolen" name.

RamonaFlowers

I still get sad over the fact that my mother wanted to name me Emily, but my bio dad said "No, it's a dog' name", because his aunt had a dog named Emily. Eventually, they settled on a very popular name at the time (and a name that most people hear and just think "well, with that name, she must be a bitch) and I spent all of my school days with at LEAST 2 other girls in any given class sharing my name...and in 10th grade biology, out of the 11 girls in my class, I shared my first name with 5 (yes, FIVE) of them. And the whole time, I begrudgingly would notice the distinct lack of "Emily"s.

I'm okay with my first name now, but as a kid, I was extremely pissed that I got slammed with a common name that most people consider synonymous with "stuck up bitch" just because my father (who hasnt even really been in my life since I was a baby) couldn't get past a dog having the same name.

[Deleted User]

RamonaFlowers said:

I still get sad over the fact that my mother wanted to name me Emily, but my bio dad said "No, it's a dog' name", because his aunt had a dog named Emily. Eventually, they settled on a very popular name at the time (and a bame that most people hear and just think "well, with that name, she must be a bitch) and I spent all of my school days with at LEAST 2 other girls in any given class sharing my name...and in 10th grade biology, out of the 11 girls in my class, I shared my first name with 5 (yes, FIVE) of them. And the whole time, I begrudgingly would notice the distinct lack of "Emily"s. I'm okay with my first name now, but as a kid, I was extremely pissed that I got slammed with a common name that most people consodte synonymous with "stuck up bitch" just because my father (who hasnt even really been in my life since I was a baby) couldn't get past a dog having the same name.

YOU CAN'T NOT TELL US WHAT IT IS!

Xstatic3333

I agree with most PPs about letting it go, but I do sympathize. Whether or not you planned to use the name, naming pets after deceased family members has never sat well with me. I know people mean well when they do it, so I keep this feeling to myself IRL, but I really don't like it.

RamonaFlowers

Megan. 1984 represent, yo.

SuperMinty

RamonaFlowers said:

Megan. 1984 represent, yo.

I was ready to put money on it being Jennifer or Nicole.

Sorry in advance to everyone named Jennifer or Nicole.

RamonaFlowers

SuperMinty said:

RamonaFlowers said:

Megan. 1984 represent, yo.

I was ready to put money on it being Jennifer or Nicole.

Sorry in advance to everyone named Jennifer or Nicole.

I've actually said before that "Megan is 84's Jennifer", lol...also, apologies to the Jennifers out there that aren't bitches.

[Deleted User]

 

SuperMinty said:

Megan. 1984 represent, yo.

I was ready to put money on it being Jennifer or Nicole. Sorry in advance to everyone named Jennifer or Nicole.

I never knew anyone thought Megan was a bitch name.  I had money on it being "Stacey."  Now THAT'S a bitch name (Sorry anyone named Stacey, I'm sure you're very nice).

RamonaFlowers

LMc0322 said:

 

SuperMinty said:

Megan. 1984 represent, yo.

I was ready to put money on it being Jennifer or Nicole. Sorry in advance to everyone named Jennifer or Nicole.
I never knew anyone thought Megan was a bitch name.  I had money on it being "Stacey."  Now THAT'S a bitch name (Sorry anyone named Stacey, I'm sure you're very nice).

Most of the Megan/Meghan/insert other stupid spelling here I've met are absolute twats. Again, it was extremely common when I was in school, so it's not like I didn't have a lot of exposure to it.

The really weird thing is I've actually met multiple people over the years that later on said "You know, I really expected you to be a bitch when I first met you...but you turned out to be the first cool Megan I know"

So apparently, I'm not the only one who's noticed this bitchy phenomenon, lol.

[Deleted User]

RamonaFlowers said:

 

SuperMinty said:

Megan. 1984 represent, yo.

I was ready to put money on it being Jennifer or Nicole. Sorry in advance to everyone named Jennifer or Nicole.

I never knew anyone thought Megan was a bitch name.  I had money on it being "Stacey."  Now THAT'S a bitch name (Sorry anyone named Stacey, I'm sure you're very nice).

Most of the Megan/Meghan/insert other stupid spelling here I've met are absolute twats. Again, it was extremely common when I was in school, so it's not like I didn't have a lot of exposure to it. The really weird thing is I've actually met multiple people over the years that later on said "You know, I really expected you to be a bitch when I first met you...but you turned out to be the first cool Megan I know" So apparently, I'm not the only one who's noticed this bitchy phenomenon, lol.

I think it's math.  Most people are bitches.  Many people are named Megan.  Therefore, it is logical to assume that most people named Megan are bitches.  Wait. I don't think that made any sense.

kinsey0628

I love the name Megan!!  I was thinking Tiffany or Jessica (<---- sorry to all the ladies with those names).

OP, my aunt had a dog with my name.  And she actually named it after a human friend of hers (who has my same name) who didn't like dogs... as a "joke" I guess.

I'm in the camp of pro- animals and ppl having the same names.  I think you can be lightheartedly honest w/ your FIL's about your feelings as PP's have suggested, but agree in the end it won't be a big deal whatever happens.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! 

RamonaFlowers

LMc0322 said:

RamonaFlowers said:

 

SuperMinty said:

Megan. 1984 represent, yo.

I was ready to put money on it being Jennifer or Nicole. Sorry in advance to everyone named Jennifer or Nicole.

I never knew anyone thought Megan was a bitch name.  I had money on it being "Stacey."  Now THAT'S a bitch name (Sorry anyone named Stacey, I'm sure you're very nice).

Most of the Megan/Meghan/insert other stupid spelling here I've met are absolute twats. Again, it was extremely common when I was in school, so it's not like I didn't have a lot of exposure to it. The really weird thing is I've actually met multiple people over the years that later on said "You know, I really expected you to be a bitch when I first met you...but you turned out to be the first cool Megan I know" So apparently, I'm not the only one who's noticed this bitchy phenomenon, lol.

I think it's math.  Most people are bitches.  Many people are named Megan.  Therefore, it is logical to assume that most people named Megan are bitches.  Wait. I don't think that made any sense.

Made total sense to me. The odds just are not in my favor, lol.

P.S. I am beyond jealous of your TARDIS experience. Why not meeeeeeeee?!?!?!?!?!

TKzilla