So my FI parent's are paying for our rehearsal dinner, which is super sweet of them. The downside is that they want to invite everyone to the dinner, instead of just keeping it intimate and immediate family only. She said it's up to me, but I know that's what she wants. What's a good compromise? I feel like it's going to be ridiculously expensive and something that we'll have to coordinate with everyone, which could get hectic. They did this when my FI's brother got married, but that was at a small hotel and it wasn't where the couple were getting married. I feel like they are going to end up paying an arm and a leg for 50 people (it'll be like a second reception almost) and it will make the toasts and us giving gifts to our parents and bridal party far less personal. one thing I'm thinking is maybe they do a welcome reception with some snack trays and drinks for 2 hours, then we do the rehearsal with immediate family and then do a dinner with that same group - that way there's a clear division of when the whole group is there versus just our immediate families. OR let them do a DDB tour before our rehearsal with everyone, then do a dinner after rehearsal with the small group.
With the size we're inviting, they may have to do a catered event at the hotel and that would be like the same food 2 days in row! Ugh, am I being selfish for wanting to keep the rehearsal dinner small? How do I let my future MIL know that I think it could get too expensive, too complicated and the next day is when everyone will be all together (at our reception), without hurting her feelings... they are paying for it, after all.
thanks for any advice.