Married/Things I'd Do Differently

Lyrical126

Sigh. I quit.  Sorry I offended everybody, I really didn't mean to,  Edit: it takes TK up to 72 hours to delete an account?  What?  How come people can't delete accounts by themselves?  Mods, if you want to expedite that, feel free, I've sent in my request.

 

phira

Lyrical126 said:

6) According to costofwedding.com, the average American couple spends $25,656.  I thought there was no way I'd even come close, and we overshot that by a ton (they count engagement and wedding rings as part of the wedding cost.)  Weddings are way more expensive than I ever realized. 

Yeah, we're counting both sets of rings as wedding costs. I'm not surprised that the website counts wedding rings as a wedding cost, although I'm a little surprised they count engagement rings, too. Like I said, we counted the engagement rings as wedding costs, but we're weird. I thought that was just us being weird.

bethsmiles

Umm...ok?

Peaseblossom55

I hope you got to enjoy the day! Any pics?

We debated back and forth about hiring a second photographer but I'm glad we did.

 

Lyrical126

 

Lyrical126

bethsmiles said:

Umm...ok?

Sorry my post didn't help you or interest you.

Lyrical126

 

phira said:

Lyrical126 said:

6) According to costofwedding.com, the average American couple spends $25,656.  I thought there was no way I'd even come close, and we overshot that by a ton (they count engagement and wedding rings as part of the wedding cost.)  Weddings are way more expensive than I ever realized. 

Yeah, we're counting both sets of rings as wedding costs. I'm not surprised that the website counts wedding rings as a wedding cost, although I'm a little surprised they count engagement rings, too. Like I said, we counted the engagement rings as wedding costs, but we're weird. I thought that was just us being weird.

I know, I thought that was a little strange too, but I think you were being smart.  If I had thought about it altogether like that I may have tried to budget better!

Lyrical126

Peaseblossom55 said:

I hope you got to enjoy the day! Any pics?

We debated back and forth about hiring a second photographer but I'm glad we did.

 

You won't regret that.  You get one chance to get pictures you'll keep for a lifetime and want to put up in your home, why not invest in your photography? 

 

 

[Deleted User]

I know this post may not be as "accepted" on here because it's NEY - but I think Lyrical126 brings up some really great points. Maybe this applies more to me specifically because I was just recently married as well. These are all great things for girls to think about who are currently engaged.

A couple more to add:

1. Have good food. Guests won't remember what songs you chose, what your cake looked like or which flowers were in your bouquet - but they will remember if they enjoyed their meal.

2. Don't worry about getting your dress dirty! My mom was so concerned about my train while taking pre-ceremony pics. So many of the photos I love we wouldn't have gotten if I'd fussed over the dress the entire time.

3. Plan some alone time for just the two of you after the ceremony/before the reception. Our wedding was all at 1 location. We ended up scheduling about 45 minutes of us time to take photos with our photographer around the property. It was so nice to just talk to each other and say "wow, we did it!" before the onslaught of guests. That time is really special, but you won't get it if you don't plan for it.

lennonkdc

OMG, I'd just have a redo...no Mrs. hanger, no second shooter and a rain plan that sucked (especially when the point was moot!!!)

thank god your H spent a ton of money on your ring, and you spent more then the national average on your wedding...

Stilll, must have been a total nightmare... 

Lyrical126

allusive007 said:

I know this post may not be as "accepted" on here because it's NEY - but I think Lyrical126 brings up some really great points. Maybe this applies more to me specifically because I was just recently married as well. These are all great things for girls to think about who are currently engaged.

A couple more to add:

1. Have good food. Guests won't remember what songs you chose, what your cake looked like or which flowers were in your bouquet - but they will remember if they enjoyed their meal.

2. Don't worry about getting your dress dirty! My mom was so concerned about my train while taking pre-ceremony pics. So many of the photos I love we wouldn't have gotten if I'd fussed over the dress the entire time.

3. Plan some alone time for just the two of you after the ceremony/before the reception. Our wedding was all at 1 location. We ended up scheduling about 45 minutes of us time to take photos with our photographer around the property. It was so nice to just talk to each other and say "wow, we did it!" before the onslaught of guests. That time is really special, but you won't get it if you don't plan for it.

Thanks Allusive, I agree with all of those.  I know, I thought about posting it somewhere else, but this is really the only board I went to much before the wedding, and everybody comes back and posts their wedding, etc. pics anyway. 

Especially agree with worrying about the dress--it can be cleaned later! 

bethsmiles

lennonkdc said:

OMG, I'd just have a redo...no Mrs. hanger, no second shooter and a rain plan that sucked (especially when the point was moot!!!)

thank god your H spent a ton of money on your ring, and you spent more then the national average on your wedding...

Stilll, must have been a total nightmare... 

This ^ is why I gave the response I gave not because I don't think any wedding advice belongs on NEY. I think @allusive007 's comment was wonderful.

KeptInStitches

Lyrical126 said:

4) I'm glad my husband spent a chunk of change on my engagement ring.  It's not the most expensive out of the girls I know by any means, but it's nice, and I plan on looking at it forever!

Okay, so like most posters lately I can't get out of the quote box. BF and I aren't engaged yet. We're hoping to be engaged soon. He's going to want to get me a ring before we are or right around the same time. Your comment kind of implies that because we're going to have a very very tight budget, my ring is going to be less "valid." At least, that's how I'm reading it.

Lyrical126

bethsmiles said:

lennonkdc said:

OMG, I'd just have a redo...no Mrs. hanger, no second shooter and a rain plan that sucked (especially when the point was moot!!!)

thank god your H spent a ton of money on your ring, and you spent more then the national average on your wedding...

Stilll, must have been a total nightmare... 

This ^ is why I gave the response I gave not because I don't think any wedding advice belongs on NEY. I think @allusive007 's comment was wonderful.

Sigh.  Thanks, both of you. I never said it was a nightmare, and I was not complaining.  Several people have asked me what I'd do differently in real life, so I just thought I'd post my two cents in case it helped anyone. 

I also never intended to brag, or sound like I was bragging.  My wedding was very simple, nothing fancy and somehow still cost a lot.  Tons of girls on here have had rings much nicer than mine, and it's not a competition anyway!  No two carat, $30,000 bauble here.  I said what I said specifically to lament that I had not realized how quickly things add up.  Whenever I said "wedding" it seemed like the cost of everything tripled.  And also, there was that other post about whether or not one should "settle" on a ring.  My post wasn't rude or belittling.

 

Lyrical126

KeptInStitches said:

Lyrical126 said:

4) I'm glad my husband spent a chunk of change on my engagement ring.  It's not the most expensive out of the girls I know by any means, but it's nice, and I plan on looking at it forever!

Okay, so like most posters lately I can't get out of the quote box. BF and I aren't engaged yet. We're hoping to be engaged soon. He's going to want to get me a ring before we are or right around the same time. Your comment kind of implies that because we're going to have a very very tight budget, my ring is going to be less "valid." At least, that's how I'm reading it.

Oh, heaven's, no, I'm sorry!  That's not how it was intended AT ALL.  Everyone's budget is different, and I never said how much mine was worth.  It is supposed to be read as, I'm glad my husband spend a significant amount FOR US (could be anywhere from $20 to $20,000 depending on who you are.)  I do not believe I will regret that, even if it was a lot (again, a lot for us.  Nothing to some people.)  I'm sorry it sounded that way though.

I hope you get a ring AND an engagement you love. 

 

lennonkdc

yeah, see people ASKED you...we did not. 

Allusive gave great advice- and pay attention- did it in a way that didn't make her sound stuck up. So, there's that...

bethsmiles

Lyrical126 said:

bethsmiles said:

lennonkdc said:

OMG, I'd just have a redo...no Mrs. hanger, no second shooter and a rain plan that sucked (especially when the point was moot!!!)

thank god your H spent a ton of money on your ring, and you spent more then the national average on your wedding...

Stilll, must have been a total nightmare... 

This ^ is why I gave the response I gave not because I don't think any wedding advice belongs on NEY. I think @allusive007 's comment was wonderful.

Sigh.  Thanks, both of you. I never said it was a nightmare, and I was not complaining.  Several people have asked me what I'd do differently in real life, so I just thought I'd post my two cents in case it helped anyone. 

I also never intended to brag, or sound like I was bragging.  My wedding was very simple, nothing fancy and somehow still cost a lot.  Tons of girls on here have had rings much nicer than mine, and it's not a competition anyway!  No two carat, $30,000 bauble here.  I said what I said specifically to lament that I had not realized how quickly things add up.  Whenever I said "wedding" it seemed like the cost of everything tripled.  And also, there was that other post about whether or not one should "settle" on a ring.  My post wasn't rude or belittling.

I don't think your post was rude or belittling. In fact I think you posted with good intentions. But also think it's a little off putting the way it's written. I'd love for you to AW your wedding but I'd much rather hear about everything you LOVED on your wedding day than all the things that went wrong.

[Deleted User]

Like what @bethsmiles said, what are some things you loved about your wedding day?

Lyrical126

lennonkdc said:

yeah, see people ASKED you...we did not. 

Allusive gave great advice- and pay attention- did it in a way that didn't make her sound stuck up. So, there's that...

People asked, WE didn't?  That was sort of rude, wasn't it?  You didn't need to read it.  My post was appropriately titled and it was easy to see what it would be about.

Thank you for pointing out that I sounded stuck up.  That's good to know, wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry for it.   I hoped to help and clearly I did not.  I'll remember that.

I give up.  I'm going to the farmer's market.  Everybody have a great day.

Lyrical126

bethsmiles said:

Lyrical126 said:

bethsmiles said:

lennonkdc said:

OMG, I'd just have a redo...no Mrs. hanger, no second shooter and a rain plan that sucked (especially when the point was moot!!!)

thank god your H spent a ton of money on your ring, and you spent more then the national average on your wedding...

Stilll, must have been a total nightmare... 

This ^ is why I gave the response I gave not because I don't think any wedding advice belongs on NEY. I think @allusive007 's comment was wonderful.

Sigh.  Thanks, both of you. I never said it was a nightmare, and I was not complaining.  Several people have asked me what I'd do differently in real life, so I just thought I'd post my two cents in case it helped anyone. 

I also never intended to brag, or sound like I was bragging.  My wedding was very simple, nothing fancy and somehow still cost a lot.  Tons of girls on here have had rings much nicer than mine, and it's not a competition anyway!  No two carat, $30,000 bauble here.  I said what I said specifically to lament that I had not realized how quickly things add up.  Whenever I said "wedding" it seemed like the cost of everything tripled.  And also, there was that other post about whether or not one should "settle" on a ring.  My post wasn't rude or belittling.

I don't think your post was rude or belittling. In fact I think you posted with good intentions. But also think it's a little off putting the way it's written. I'd love for you to AW your wedding but I'd much rather hear about everything you LOVED on your wedding day than all the things that went wrong.

Good to know, and thanks.

motoLyn

Things I do differently.....

All of it.... my wedding was horrible messy nightmare.  I wanted top shelf hard liquor but had beer.  There was no clear top tent to see the stars!  I had to buy shoes off the internet instead of louboutin shoes. I didn't get to have a BIG first dance choreographed or a second PP dress to wear for the reception.  I wonder if I can have a second PPD?

buddysmom80

motoLyn said:

Things I do differently.....

All of it.... my wedding was horrible messy nightmare.  I wanted top shelf hard liquor but had beer.  There was no clear top tent to see the stars!  I had to buy shoes off the internet instead of louboutin shoes. I didn't get to have a BIG first dance choreographed or a second PP dress to wear for the reception.  I wonder if I can have a second PPD?

Fucking totally have a PPD. I'll buy your Louboutins!

OP, I'm NEY but I'm going to use your WONDERFULLY SELF ABSORBED ADVICE WHICH NO ONE ASKED YOU FOR when I plan my wedding. Because it's all about MEEEEEE!

Just kidding OP, idgaf.

lennonkdc

@motolyn Did you at least get H to shell out for the e-ring. I mean, how else will you know he loves you if he didn't spend a chunk of change on it? I mean, you are going to be looking at that thing the rest of your life....

buddysmom80

lennonkdc said:

@motolyn Did you at least get H to shell out for the e-ring. I mean, how else will you know he loves you if he didn't spend a chunk of change on it? I mean, you are going to be looking at that thing the rest of your life....

Jesus H. Christ on a cracker my BF is getting a USED DIAMOND for my ering. He must really hate me, I suck at giving blowjobs apparently.

minskat30

Awww, I think OP meant well and with good intentions when she posted. 

lennonkdc

@buddysmom80, that's gonna bring down the cost of your wedding. If it doesn't meet or exceed the the national average cost, I'm afraid you won't be able to sit with us. 

buddysmom80

@lennonkdc BUT I WEAR PINK ON WEDNESDAYS! FUUUUCK!

KeptInStitches

minskat30 said:

Awww, I think OP meant well and with good intentions when she posted. 

I do too. I got rubbed the wrong way, and I'll be the first to admit that it's because of my last couple of days being massively stressful, emotionally and (yeah, it happens and it sucks ...) financially. I agree with bethsmiles that the wording wasn't great. And I'd love to hear about all the stuff @Lyrical126 loved about her wedding day.

phira

lennonkdc said:

@buddysmom80, that's gonna bring down the cost of your wedding. If it doesn't meet or exceed the the national average cost, I'm afraid you won't be able to sit with us. 

buddysmom80

phira said:

lennonkdc said:

@buddysmom80, that's gonna bring down the cost of your wedding. If it doesn't meet or exceed the the national average cost, I'm afraid you won't be able to sit with us. 

This shit is hurting my eyes

lennonkdc

KeptInStitches said:

minskat30 said:

Awww, I think OP meant well and with good intentions when she posted. 

I do too. I got rubbed the wrong way, and I'll be the first to admit that it's because of my last couple of days being massively stressful, emotionally and (yeah, it happens and it sucks ...) financially. I agree with bethsmiles that the wording wasn't great. And I'd love to hear about all the stuff @Lyrical126 loved about her wedding day.

Hey, maybe she did mean to be 'helpful'...but running on to a message board bitching about shit right off the bat, then bragging about how her FI spent a 'chunk of change' on her e-ring and that she spent more then $26k on her wedding isn't 'helpful'. Post a recap, aw a bit, and if asked, give some tips...not that difficult....