Did you hire dancers to perform at your wedding reception?

incarnadine

If so, how much did it cost?

 

I got a price quote of $1,000 for a local group of flamenco dancers to perform for 30 minutes accompanied by a professional guitarist at my wedding reception.

 

The funny thing is that my fiance and I are members of the group, though we will not be performing with the group at my wedding reception. The group consists of a flamenco teacher and her students, and the teacher is the only one who would be considered a professional dancer. Except for the teacher and the guitarist, everyone in the group is an unpaid student volunteer. As unpaid student volunteers, we have no idea how much the teacher typically charges to have us perform at wedding receptions and other events, and it would be considered "ungracious" of us to ask her (she is a bit eccentric).

 

I am thinking that $1,000 for a 30-minute performance by mostly amateur dancers is a bit steep, especially considering all the unpaid volunteer work my fiance and I have done for the teacher.

button6004

I think dancers at weddings are very strange. I wouldnt pay $1000 for that in a million years.

Gisellerina

Although I did not hire dancers for my reception, I was a freelance dancer through college and grad school, and was typically paid $50-$200 per performance.  So, I would normally say $1,000 for a group of dancers for a 30 minute performance sounds reasonable.  But, since you say most of the dancers will be student volunteers rather than paid performing artists, that would seem to be a little high.

If you don't mind me asking, why are you having a 30 minute flamenco performance during your wedding reception? 

Dreamergirl8812

30 minutes is a long time to sit and watch other people dance at a wedding.

buddysmom80

The only dancers I want to see at a wedding are strippers. But FFS, I really don't want to go to a wedding and watch a dance recital. Unless you want to blow $1000. If you do, send it my way.

mlg78

I would be bored for 30 minutes. Please don't do this...

incarnadine

Thanks for all the feedback.

Gisellerina, to answer your question: My fiance and I are huge flamenco fans, and we met in flamenco class. We would like to have a Spanish flamenco theme for our wedding. The people in our flamenco group are some of our closest friends, and we just think it would be nice to have them contribute to our wedding by performing at the reception. The teacher is more an authority figure than a friend, though, and we weren't expecting to get much of a deal from her because she is always looking to make a buck, but we are taken aback by the $1,000 price quote. My fiance and I perform at wedding receptions and other events as part of her flamenco group (I dance, and my fiance plays guitar) on a volunteer basis, and 30 minutes is typical. So, it seems appropriate to have a 30-minute flamenco performance at our own wedding reception.

Maybe 15 minutes would be better than 30.

buddysmom80

Maybe not at all....

Dreamergirl8812

What if they just danced while everyone else was too? I think it would be fun if they danced with people and showed people moves. I would be pissed if I was forced/encouraged to participate in that *but* I would have a blast if I could just go up to one of them on the dance floor and learn some flamenco. I think I would look hot doing flamenco...

Not sure how that would affect the payment thing though. And $1,000 for 30 minutes of anything seems like a waste. That's a lot of booze.


ETA: Dancing poodle obviously agrees with me.

Gisellerina

@incarnadine - The pp's have valid points about guests not wanting to sit through a 30 minute dance performance, especially post-ceremony.  But, since you and your fiance met in flamenco class, I can see why you would want to incorporate it into your reception.  Are any of your flamenco classmates invited as guests?  Would it be possible to do something more informal than a hired performance?  Such as having your first dance be a flamenco dance and then maybe having some of your flamenco classmates join you on the dance floor for a group flamenco dance?  I don't think most guests would mind watching 5-6 minutes of dancing.

I know 15 minutes doesn't sound very long, but when you consider the time spent sitting during the ceremony, during the first dance and any other spotlight dances, during the toast, during the cake-cutting, etc., it really does add up to a lot of passive sitting for your friends and family.  So, even the dance lovers might get antsy sitting through a 15-30 minute long dance performance as part of a wedding.

mlg78

incarnadine said:

Thanks for all the feedback.

Gisellerina, to answer your question: My fiance and I are huge flamenco fans, and we met in flamenco class. We would like to have a Spanish flamenco theme for our wedding. The people in our flamenco group are some of our closest friends, and we just think it would be nice to have them contribute to our wedding by performing at the reception. The teacher is more an authority figure than a friend, though, and we weren't expecting to get much of a deal from her because she is always looking to make a buck, but we are taken aback by the $1,000 price quote. My fiance and I perform at wedding receptions and other events as part of her flamenco group (I dance, and my fiance plays guitar) on a volunteer basis, and 30 minutes is typical. So, it seems appropriate to have a 30-minute flamenco performance at our own wedding reception.

Maybe 15 minutes would be better than 30.

No. That's not an improvement. Just don't do it at all.  I'm sure you're making people sit in on spotlight dances so don't make them sit for 15 more minutes. It's unnecessary and a waste of your money.

incarnadine

@Dreamergirl: Knowing our guests, I think the vast majority of them would not be interested in dancing flamenco themselves, but I like to think that most of them wouldn't mind watching some. I am realizing that 30 minutes would be way too long, though. Yes, $1,000 for 30 minutes does seem like a waste, and that is a lot of booze.

@Gisellerina: Yes, all the flamenco classmates are invited as guests. Yes, our first dance is actually a little flamenco folkdance and will happen as soon as the MC announces us into the reception hall at the end of the grand entrance, after the cocktail hour. The flamenco group would do their performance right after we do our first dance, and I imagine that the salads will start getting passed out to the guests as the flamenco group starts their performance. I was thinking that the guests would not mind a flamenco performance while they have dinner, like in a cabaret, where flamenco is often performed.

JoanE2012

OP - Please skip the performance.  People want to dance and chat and eat and drink at a wedding, not sit there and be forced to watch a recital.  

staar987

So some of your invited guests have to perform for 30 minutes while everyone else eats? This is a bad idea. I would be very uncomfortable as a guest to watch a dance recital at a wedding.

RebeccaB88

I know you really, really want this to happen, but people are telling you it's not a good idea. Honestly, I would probably find something on my phone to amuse me until my mom elbowed me in the ribs, then I'd roll my eyes and sit politely, but bored, until it was over. And I'd really wonder about you.

incarnadine

staar987 said:

So some of your invited guests have to perform for 30 minutes while everyone else eats?

That's not the issue. I've already spoken to everyone who would be performing about what I've been envisioning, and unless they're just pretending to be very happy to do it, they are very happy to do it. With the exception of the teacher and the guitarist, who get paid, we do this all the time on a volunteer basis just because we love to perform. I would think that if we're willing to perform for free for strangers, without getting a meal or anything, then we would be willing to perform for friends at their wedding reception and eat later. They will have had the opportunity to gorge themselves on the generous spread of hors d'oeuvres at the cocktail hour anyway.

staar987 said:

I would be very uncomfortable as a guest to watch a dance recital at a wedding.

That's the issue.

incarnadine

RebeccaB88 said:

I know you really, really want this to happen, but people are telling you it's not a good idea. 

No, I don't want this to happen as much as you think you know. If I did, then I really, really would not have cared to post this discussion soliciting people's opinions. 

RebeccaB88 said:

Honestly, I would probably find something on my phone to amuse me until my mom elbowed me in the ribs, then I'd roll my eyes and sit politely, but bored, until it was over. And I'd really wonder about you.

Yes, hypothetically. But you would also hypothetically not be invited in the first place. So you ought to be kicked off the premises, and yo' mama too. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

staar987

incarnadine said:

staar987 said:

So some of your invited guests have to perform for 30 minutes while everyone else eats?

That's not the issue. I've already spoken to everyone who would be performing about what I've been envisioning, and unless they're just pretending to be very happy to do it, they are very happy to do it. With the exception of the teacher and the guitarist, who get paid, we do this all the time on a volunteer basis just because we love to perform. I would think that if we're willing to perform for free for strangers, without getting a meal or anything, then we would be willing to perform for friends at their wedding reception and eat later. They will have had the opportunity to gorge themselves on the generous spread of hors d'oeuvres at the cocktail hour anyway.

staar987 said:

I would be very uncomfortable as a guest to watch a dance recital at a wedding.

That's the issue.

The problem with your logic is that, regardless of pay, at a stranger's event you are hired performers. At your event they are guests. Or are supposed to be. The expectations are different. Friends and family aren't going to tell you that they don't like your idea because they don't want to offend you.

And the guests that aren't performing are really going to be split into 2 groups. The few that are happy to watch this whole recital and the majority that will be bored and looking for other things to do.

Regardless $1000 is a lot to pay for this.

ETA trying to fix mobile quoting. I did the best I could but you get the point.

icecreamS04

If you really want a dance performance:
Is there a way to ask your friends to do it by themselves for a fraction of the cost without the teacher ? (because $1000 seems like a lot to me) 

As a guest I wouldn't enjoy to sit down for 30 minutes to watch something like that unless I have to sit down anyway... is there a way the performance can take place during dinner? That way people who don't have a plate yet can watch the performance, others can eat and have a look at when they like to... however people should still be able to talk to each other during dinner... 

KDM323

I wouldn't spend $1k for dancers for a wedding. If you want to include this style of music...hire a band to play it during your reception, don't hire dancers. Then your guests can enjoy this style of dancing if they would like...but you aren't making anyone uncomfortable by having them perform...nor are you potentially boring anyone by having them watch a 30 minute "show"

PickleJuiceSlurper

We hired hula and fire dancers for a 45 minute show and it was $350, there's no way I would spend $1,000 (but how much fun our guests had watching them, it would've been worth the $1,000) they were so fun, we had audience participation, they had everyone laughing.. It was really one of the high lights of the night.

I've been to a wedding where they had performers dance and it was as equally as fun and enjoyable:) it makes your wedding stand out and unique.

heidirs731

There are TONS of videos on YouTube where people do performances, and those only last about five minutes, usually to a specific song. I don't think that's too long to sit through, and if guests are eating, I don't think you'd have the issues of people wanting to dance and not be able to. Regardless of the posts here, people do seem to enjoy it. Otherwise there wouldn't be a video with people cheering or clapping.

I also agree with another poster. Since the dancers are your guests and friends, is it possible to do without the teacher and guitarist? Since you're having a flamenco themed wedding, I understand the desire to do this, and I think you should if you want to. I personally wouldn't mind watching as I've never seen flamenco and it would be exciting to watch. I don't know if I'd want to watch for 15 minutes. Although, If I'm eating, then I wouldn't be in a hurry to get on the dance floor.

However, you mentioned before that you don't want to do it that badly, so I'm wondering, what makes you feel obligated to do so?

MandyMost

I'd have your first dance as planned, and then maybe after dinner...right when the dancing is starting...have the DJ announce something like "As most of you know, the Bride and Groom met in Flamenco class....they'd like to invite all of their fellow flamenco dancers out on the floor!" And then have your friends dance a totally voluntary flamenco dance for ONE SONG. Of course you would talk to your flamenco friends ahead of time to ask if they want to do it, and help pick the song, etc., and so they would know it was coming. This way, your flamenco friends also wouldn't feel like they're performing as hired hands instead of guests. 

As a guest, I would HATE an official flamenco recital that I was forced to sit through. However, after the guests are essentially "released" from their tables and up mingling around, I'd happily stand at the side of the dance floor and watch a fun dance by a group of people...the same way people often end up in a circle around random crazy dancers at a wedding.

GlassButton

I agree with a few PPs' ideas.

• 1 k is a lot. It'd be fine if they were all getting paid, but I just don't agree with the teacher taking home all the profits. Also, if I volunteered as much as you I'd expect the price to be lower.
• I think it's best to just do one song. While they may love the performance after 10 minutes, I can see some lose interest.
• Have them perform after dinner once your guests are about to start dancing.
• Try and see if you can just have your friends do the one song performance without your teacher.

snoopycac

I would skip it. As a guest i would feel horribly awkward to sit there and watch it. If the dancers are coming to the wedding anyways as your guests they can dance right along woth the crowd and maybe even teach some other guests for fun.

Ajuliana

I would be super bored and have zero desire to watch it.  

MuppetFan

I'm with Tarra. I think if your first dance is a Flamenco dance, that ties in your theme sufficiently. Maybe have a 4 mins song that others can join in with later and call it a day.

I went to a wedding that was very posh and they hired actors from Phantom of the Opera on broadway (not sure if they were understudies or what) to do a performance for the 400 people watching. It was just really memorable in a negative way for me. It didn't enhance the event at all.

annathy03

Please don't make your guests sit through 15-30 minutes of this.

Doing the Flamenco dance for your first dance is a great way to incorporate it, and since many of your guests know the style I think when you have your DJ/MC start the party directly after dinner they can play another and ask your dance classmates to join the B&G to open the dance floor for one song.

This gets your guests to see your spotlight dance in the style, and you two enjoying it with some of your other guests, without adding a whole separate block of time watching a recital.

jessicabessica

I think 30 minutes is way too much (20-25 minutes too long), and I would not pay $1k for it.  

Some of our friends run a salsa company, so some of their guests were salsa friends and students.  I don't remember all the details, but 1-2 couples did short performances (less than 5 minutes each) that seemed like "gifts" to the couple at the beginning of the reception.  Would any of your friends be interested in a short performance like that after your first dance?

incarnadine

staar987 said:

The problem with your logic is that, regardless of pay, at a stranger's event you are hired performers. At your event they are guests. Or are supposed to be. The expectations are different. Friends and family aren't going to tell you that they don't like your idea because they don't want to offend you. 

Not an issue, I assure you. The problem with your logic is that you do not know my fellow performers who are also some of my closest friends, whereas I do. Yes, some people are not willing to make sacrifices for their friends, but some people are. After all, how often are people missing out on the party while they're helping out with set-up, decor, food prep, etc. at their friend's wedding, and gladly at that? It doesn't necessarily mean they're not also guests. I would personally consider it a huge compliment if one of my friends asked me to perform at their wedding reception, and I would not consider it a huge sacrifice if my dinner were delayed 15-30 minutes by doing something I love at the request of a friend. Is it possible that my friends are only pretending to want to perform at my wedding reception because they don't want to offend me? Sure, anything is possible. Is it probable? Knowing my friends, no, I do not think so.

staar987 said:

And the guests that aren't performing are really going to be split into 2 groups. The few that are happy to watch this whole recital and the majority that will be bored and looking for other things to do.

The same could be said about pretty much everything that goes on at a wedding or reception. Wedding ceremonies, spotlight dances, toasts, speeches and such can be trite, boring, antsiness-inducing things. Not everyone is going to be deliriously happy with everything all of the time. If my guests want to look for other things to do, fine with me. It's not as if I will have them tied to their chairs and forced to undergo what is most definitely torture according to some of you folks. It's a nice venue with an inside and an outside and multiple rooms, and they'll be free to roam.

icecreamS04 said:

Is there a way to ask your friends to do it by themselves for a fraction of the cost without the teacher ? (because $1000 seems like a lot to me)

No. That would be much more controversial than not doing the performance at all. Telling her that we don't want her to perform at our wedding anymore, and we only want the others to perform now? Yeah, that wouldn't go over very well, and she would have been offended if I'd only invited the others to perform and not her. She is also very possessive of her art. In short, she is eccentric. Hiring a flamenco group other than my own is also not an option for me if I want to avoid controversy and bad blood.

icecreamS04 said:

As a guest I wouldn't enjoy to sit down for 30 minutes to watch something like that unless I have to sit down anyway... is there a way the performance can take place during dinner?

Yes, the performance would start when dinner starts, when the salads start getting passed out to the guests. So yes, the guests would be sitting down anyway.

icecreamS04 said:

That way people who don't have a plate yet can watch the performance, others can eat and have a look at when they like to... however people should still be able to talk to each other during dinner...

It does not stop people from being able to talk to each other, in my experience. When it comes to cabaret-style flamenco (meaning in a setting with food and drink), it is perfectly acceptable and normal for members of the audience to talk, eat, drink, mix and mingle, etc. The dancers even talk to each other and might even talk to the audience - there tends to be a lot of banter. We like it when the audience talks to us while we are performing. It is not like being at the ballet. Flamenco is a little different. I can see how those who aren't familiar might not grasp the concept.

@PickleJuiceSlurper: Thank you.

heidirs731 said:

Regardless of the posts here, people do seem to enjoy it.

Thank you. That does seem to be the case when I perform with my group at weddings, but The Knot has helped me realize I am at least as delusional as people who hire flamenco dancers to perform at their weddings thinking their guests will actually enjoy it and not absolutely hate it and not be tortured by it.

heidirs731 said:

However, you mentioned before that you don't want to do it that badly, so I'm wondering, what makes you feel obligated to do so?

I won't slit my wrists or anything if it doesn't happen, and it's not that I "feel obligated." I was just thinking it would be really nice to have. This is what I said earlier in answer to that question: My fiance and I are huge flamenco fans, and we met in flamenco class. We would like to have a Spanish flamenco theme for our wedding. The people in our flamenco group are some of our closest friends, and we just think it would be nice to have them contribute to our wedding by performing at the reception. The teacher is more an authority figure than a friend, though, and we weren't expecting to get much of a deal from her because she is always looking to make a buck, but we are taken aback by the $1,000 price quote. My fiance and I perform at wedding receptions and other events as part of her flamenco group (I dance, and my fiance plays guitar) on a volunteer basis, and 30 minutes is typical. So, it seems appropriate to have a 30-minute flamenco performance at our own wedding reception.

GlassButton said:

• Have them perform after dinner once your guests are about to start dancing.

I envisioned them as entertainment during dinner because that would be consistent with the cabaret-style flamenco theme - people eating and drinking while a flamenco performance is going on. Plus, I'm aware that flamenco is not an art form with mass appeal, and not all our guests will be flamenco fans; and if the guests aren't into the performance, because it will surely disgust them according to the consensus of The Knot, then they can at least have the food to be into. When it comes time to dance, I figure the guests would rather just dance than watch other people dance.

Courtpenguin21 said:

What if you and your FI did a flamenco dance for your first dance? That way everyone would get to see part of something that is very valuable to you and your husband, people that are invited as guests would not have to be dancing for 30 minutes while everyone else ate,

Yeah, we are doing a flamenco dance for our first dance. But if you have the impression that the members of the flamenco group would literally all be dancing for 30 minutes straight, it is not correct. There would be 6 dancers, and they would be dancing for a few minutes at a time, either solo or in multiples, and their routines would be interspersed by guitar solos. I am a little baffled by this notion that not only would I be torturing my guests but also the friends of mine who'd be performing; hopefully with a few months of therapy, they'd get over it.

People often have live Spanish guitar as ambient music during dinner at wedding receptions. Is it so wrong if people also happen to be dancing to that? I guess so.

Anyway, party people, the upshot of all this is that my fiance and I have decided not to have our flamenco group perform at our wedding reception, the biggest reason being that we are offended by the excessive $1,000 price quote from someone we've considered a friend, for whom we've done so much for free. If it weren't for the cost, we would totally do it. Thanks a lot for all your feedback, tactful and untactful, relevant and irrelevant, open-minded and closed-minded.

doeydo

Since flamenco dancing is personal for you and your FI, you could get the dancers to do some dancing for a song or two, but don't make your guests sit there for 15 minutes to a half hour.  

Edit:  Just saw your most recent post.  During dinner, as you were thinking of having the dancers perform, might be better but personally, I would feel like it is rude to talk during a live performance but I would want to talk to the other guests.