Wedding Etiquette Forum

Couples Shower

Several of my bridesmaids are throwing a couples shower for us. We registered at Macy's and Bed, Bath, & Beyond and did not register at Home Depot or anywhere geared towards men. They asked if we had a theme in mind. I would love for it to be a stock the bar shower for him and just a regular, gifts from our registry for me. Is there a cute and creative way that they can word this on the invite so that it's not confusing or bossy? It may just be easier to do a regular shower and we both get the gifts we registered for. Just thought I would ask...
Thanks

Re: Couples Shower

  • So you want the guests to bring a gift for each of you? I would just do a regular shower. The registry gifts are for both of you, you don't need to have people bring an extra gift for him.
  • We've lived together for 4 years and we didn't register for that much...I was hoping to gear it more towards his friends bring a gift for him, and mine get one for me. Just one gift, not two

    I was trying to think of something to rhyme with this

    Something for him to stock the bar or
    Something for her to.....
    Please join us for a
    Couples Showering
    Honoring

    I just wanted to mix it up a little and give him the opportunity to be at a shower but change it up a little for him. Thoughts?
  • I.would not make things.more complicated. He can register with you and pick out stuff too. BBB and Macy's isn't just for women. He can pick a BBQ set. A nice whiskey decanter and matching glasses for his bar, even pillows.and plush towels.
  • I.would not make things.more complicated. He can register with you and pick out stuff too. BBB and Macy's isn't just for women. He can pick a BBQ set. A nice whiskey decanter and matching glasses for his bar, even pillows.and plush towels.
    Ditto this.  Also, I personally would not dictate what they should bring on the invite like the poem does.  I would just list the registries and leave it at that.
  • SKPMSKPM member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2013
    As I understand it, the purpose of a couples shower is for guests to shower the couple, not two individuals, with gifts. The gifts are for you as a couple as you start your married life together. IMO, it would be rude to dictate who brings what for whom. The host of the shower can list your registries on the invitation and you can write thank you notes for gifts received.

    [Edited for spelling.]

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
  • Your registries should include things that both of you will enjoy and use.  I haven't been to a couples shower, but I think it would be odd if you didn't open gifts together at the shower.  You wouldn't have him split off with the people that are more his friends to open the presents for him.  I would find a poem like that annoying and might think that your shower hostess was suggesting guests get two presents ("for him" and "for her").  
  • It looks grabby to have two different kinds. We had a couples shower and people brought fabulous gifts and not all were geared to me or him. I am not a fan of trying to steer people in any direction of gifts. Plus, a good bottle of booze can be $40+ and that is generally what I spend on shower gifts, so you're asking a lot of your guests. 
  • Agree with PPs-I wouldn't specify the gift. Maybe add more items to your registry (ideally, it should be decent sized if you're having a shower) that interest your FI. My FI loved registering and is compulsive registry stalker now, but maybe that's not the norm.
  • Whatever you do, you must have a cutesy poem.
  • Unless you're registered at Victoria's Secret or MAC, your wedding registry presumably indicates that the items will be used by both of you, yes?  I'm guessing the towels and sheets and kitchen appliances will not only used by you, therefore, the registry gifts are for both of you.  If he needs hand tools or other things from Home Depot or places like that, by all means, register there.  I have friends who had just bought a house together when they got married and their one and only registry was at Lowes!  

    You can dictate what people bring for whom, you can only be grateful that they took the time to do so.  
  • We did a couples shower and it was really fun!  I'm sure whatever your friends do will be a blast.  The hosting couple just directed people to the registry for ours.  We got some gifts, and some people brought us nice bottles of wine.  As nice as it was to get gifts, the whole thing turned out to be a really awesome cocktail party.  I wouldn't direct people on gifts, they'll figure it out!  
  • We had a build the bar shower for both of us (I like to drink too). We registered at Crate and Barrel for it. We registered for all bar stuff like our wine glasses, rocks glasses, martini glasses, decanter, whiskey stones, etc. 

    I wouldn't try to be too gender specific here (he drinks, she cooks). If you only register for things you both want - that's the idea - the gifts will be for both of you... as a couple.
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