Wedding Party "Questionnaire"

kkcaper14

I'm having a large bridal party and have some ideas floating around in terms of bridal party presents.  My wedding isn't for another year but I was thinking about e-mailing a questionnaire/survey so I have a record of ideas for BM presents.  I know I should "know" these things as they are my best friends but things change (favorite color, shoe size, full initials (I'm not sure technically what some married friends go by), shirt size, gold vs. silver etc.).  I have a good idea of what I want to give at this point but was thinking the more information the better?  I would love to have all this information come the time to buy gifts and not have to guess as I do want to personalize.  Would anyone bet offended to be asked such information as a BM if the bride should know?  Thanks

Simply Fated

This idea sounds really impersonal. I would approach each person individually. Ask them a few questions regarding some ideas you have for them specfically.

It's not an offensive idea, but it's not really a nice one. Gifts should be from the heart. Asking a whole group generic questions about shoe sizes is weird if you end up getting one of them a plant (or what ever).

kkcaper14

I'm thinking about getting each BM a few different things - so probably a mix of impersonal and personal (ex. impersonal - flip flops since my I'm having a tented wedding reception).  I have lots of ideas for the personal things but want to make sure I have my bases covered for the other stuff.

Simply Fated

kkcaper14 said:

I'm thinking about getting each BM a few different things - so probably a mix of impersonal and personal (ex. impersonal - flip flops since my I'm having a tented wedding reception).  I have lots of ideas for the personal things but want to make sure I have my bases covered for the other stuff.

It would probably be best to approach each person individually. Or at least in person if you see them in groups.
Sending out a mass survey kinda comes across like you can't be bothered to just call the person and ask, "What's your shoe size?"

I know you have a lot of questions to ask each girl, but even sending emails out individually would be better than a mass survey e-mail. You can personalize the e-mails, too, tailoring them to each person.
So, if you already know Jane's shoe size, you can leave that question out, but ask her what her shirt size is.
And you might know Sally's shoe size and shirt size because you raid each other's closets, so it might come across super weird to her if you asked her those questions.. But if you asked her, "Sally, I forgot, do you prefer green or blue?" it makes more sense. Basically, you don't have to bombard anyone with a buttload of random questions that you might decide you don't even need to know the answers to.

Viczaesar

kkcaper14 said:

I'm having a large bridal party and have some ideas floating around in terms of bridal party presents.  My wedding isn't for another year but I was thinking about e-mailing a questionnaire/survey so I have a record of ideas for BM presents.  I know I should "know" these things as they are my best friends but things change (favorite color, shoe size, full initials (I'm not sure technically what some married friends go by), shirt size, gold vs. silver etc.).  I have a good idea of what I want to give at this point but was thinking the more information the better?  I would love to have all this information come the time to buy gifts and not have to guess as I do want to personalize.  Would anyone bet offended to be asked such information as a BM if the bride should know?  Thanks

Not offended, but the only questions from that list that I would answer are favorite color and whether I would prefer gold or silver jewelry.

mlg78

I would find this bizarre and impersonal.  And just to clarify...flip flops because you're having a tented reception is NOT a bridal party gift. Nor is jewelry they wear that day, just in case that was what you were thinking of doing.  You're better off just shopping as if it's each of their birthdays and you should know what each would like, given that they're your closest friends.  Also, skip the monogrammed crap too.

misssunshine17

Don't do this. Buy each BM something like it is their birthday. Wine & glasses for Sally, a massage for Katie, Sephora gift card for Amy. 

artbyallie

mlg78 said:

I would find this bizarre and impersonal.  And just to clarify...flip flops because you're having a tented reception is NOT a bridal party gift. Nor is jewelry they wear that day, just in case that was what you were thinking of doing.  You're better off just shopping as if it's each of their birthdays and you should know what each would like, given that they're your closest friends.  Also, skip the monogrammed crap too.

This is everything I wanted to say, so just read it again.

grumbledore

kkcaper14 said:

I'm thinking about getting each BM a few different things - so probably a mix of impersonal and personal (ex. impersonal - flip flops since my I'm having a tented wedding reception).  I have lots of ideas for the personal things but want to make sure I have my bases covered for the other stuff.

I would ask them shoe sizes and explain you are getting everyone flip flops for the reception (if you decide to do it) - but I wouldn't consider it a thank you gift (since it's for the wedding and all...).  For the actual gift, I would just make sure you hang out with each of them and feel them out without asking outright.  They are your nearest and dearest - surely you know each of them well enough to pick out an appropriate gift, otherwise I would question why you are having them stand up with you.

southernbelle0915

I know you're trying to be efficient about this since you have a large bridal party so I get that. 

But as other PPs have said, shop for them like it's their birthday. A lot of the "typical" BM gifts are crappy and impersonal. The gesture is nice, but they're often a waste of your money. It's good you have over a year. Set a budget now and then try to knock out one BM gift per month. You'll have everyone's in plenty of time.

kkcaper14

Thanks for the advice!  I have few ideas for things but also want things to be a surprise so I was just thinking if I asked some general questions ahead of time and had them "on file" for when I decide what I want to do.  I was definitely not planning on doing jewelry to wear the day of the wedding (although both weddings I've been to have done this and I love the jewelry so no complaints ).  I am thinking of doing a combination of some little things and one unique gift for each BM.  

itzMS

kkcaper14 said:

Thanks for the advice!  I have few ideas for things but also want things to be a surprise so I was just thinking if I asked some general questions ahead of time and had them "on file" for when I decide what I want to do.  I was definitely not planning on doing jewelry to wear the day of the wedding (although both weddings I've been to have done this and I love the jewelry so no complaints ).  I am thinking of doing a combination of some little things and one unique gift for each BM.  

Why do you have to get them flip flops? I told my BP to bring any shoes they'd like to change into for the reception. Some had sandals, some had dress flats, and one girl wore Toms. They wore what they are comfortable in. Flip flops are generally not comfortable, and I personally wouldn't dare wear them with a formal dress.

Also, please skip "bridesmaid" t-shirts and/or robes if that is what you're asking them their shirt size for.

Jen4948

I myself don't like getting monogrammed gifts.  I also honestly would rather shop for my own clothes rather than receive them as gifts, so I would really be put off by questionnaires asking me about my clothes sizes.

And giving something that you expect your bridesmaids to wear at your wedding is not giving them gifts.  Buy for them as though the occasion is not for your wedding.

AddieCake

I think it's a bad idea. I'd be hurt if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid, which means she considers me her "nearest and dearest," and then had no idea what to buy me as a gift. How do you not know what your closest friends are into?