September 2013 Weddings

Family issues

This is not a first marriage for myself or my FI. We both made mistakes when we were young. I had a small thrown together wedding when I was 19 that did not have anything I wanted.The reception was only two hours long with no dancing or anything but a meal. I also had a JOP wedding when i was 23. No family, no friends. Now, I'm 36 and my FI and I are paying for everything to allow me to have the wedding I have always wanted. We might have made mistakes with others but now we found each other and three years later we are getting married. But my family pretty much is just treating it like a joke. My mom just blows me off whenever I talk about the wedding. No one in my family has offered anything. His aunt is putting together a shower for me. I made a comment to my mom last night about filling out our marriage license application and she commented about how I should be good at it by now. I asked her if that's why no one seems to give a s#%^ about my wedding, cause they just think I'll be doing a few more times. She laughed and said, probably. I have to say my feelings are hurt. My FI was so sweet and told me this is about us and not them. But now, I've lost the excitement of my wedding day. I'm overjoyed to be marrying my FI but the wedding has lost it's appeal now. Should I say something to my family? Or should I just try to get over my feelings and enjoy the people who are excited about it?

Re: Family issues

  • Your FI is correct...this is about the two of you. You can't rely upon other people for your happiness or enthusiasm. Would it be nice if your family was excited? Yes. Do you have an expectation of them changing their behavior if you speak with them about it? If yes, prepare to be disappointed. Honestly, embrace those who are supportive and excited for you. Then, let the rest go. They're not worth your time or energy. 

    That said, I feel very sad for you that your mother is being so cruel. I hope at least she can come around. I hope you have the wedding of your dreams and enjoy every moment!
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