I'm getting married in less than 6 weeks, and I'm getting more stressed, nervous and anxious each passing day. And not because of the normal stresses that go with wedding planning, I'm petrified that my father and brother will have it out at my wedding. They both absolutely DESPISE each other and my wedding will be the first time they'll see each other in a few years. There are a lot of deep-rooted family issues that neither of them have the capacity to forgive. I'm in the middle of everything because I have a relationship with both of them. I'm closer with my father because I see him more. I'm cool with my brother, but I can always see the hate he has for our father.
I've spoken to my father about my concerns and he said that he's not going to "ruin my day" and say anything to my brother. But my father can be a selfish SOB and do things in the moment without thinking. I'm sitting my father and brother at separate tables which is pretty sad but very necessary.
A friend of my fiancé works with my brother and mentioned his dysfunctional relationship with my father to him. That scared me and made me feel like he'd say something to my father at the wedding.
My plan is to speak with both of them a few weeks before the wedding and just tell them to pretend like they don't know each other.... I really don't know what else to do besides that, other than pray...
And now my parents aren't talking to each other which is a normal occurrence, but this time my father told me that he's "considering divorce". I'm not sure if the issue I explained above has anything to do with this, it might, I do know that it's extremely upsetting both of my parents. And neither of them want to make amends with my brother (oh yeah, my Mom doesn't talk to my brother either, but I trust that she won't argue with my brother or make a fool of herself and embarrass me at my wedding. My Dad on the other hand...)
I don't know what exactly goes on at my parents house when they argue, but I do know that my father works out like a madman, takes testosterone, is 61 and is afraid of getting old. Oh, and he's been sober for almost 9 years and misses drinking terribly. Sounds like he's not the greatest person to be around, right? Well you are right! Sad reality that he's like this, but at the end of the day, he's still my Dad and I love him. I just wish he wasn't so selfish and temperamental in his moods.
My parents gave us a nice chunk of change for the wedding, so I feel my Dad might use that against me if I approach him with my concerns again.
My hope is that the wedding will be a welcome distraction for my father and brother's hatred towards one another. I just hope the distraction really works.
Thanks for reading. Any advice is greatly appreciated.