New York

bridal party etiquette?

I am wondering what you guys think... 
If someone in the bridal party chooses not to go to the bachelorette party, should she still help contribute to cover the cost of the bridet?

I'm not sure if that's something I should bring up... We're going pole dancing and to bars.  The person lives out of the area and has kids, so she can't bring them with her obviously to the bachelorette party... and then the shower is the next day, which she is attending with her daughter.  She's contributing her share for the bridal shower.

For the bachelorette party we're going to a pole dancing class, bars, and then all sharing a hotel room.  The rest of us are covering the cost of the bride for pole dancing class, drinks, and hotel room as I believe is customary.  Do you think it's fair/right to ask this other person to give an the equal share to cover the cost of the bride price since she's basically making it more expensive for all of us because she can't/won't attend...?
My Attempted Wedding Blog -

Re: bridal party etiquette?

  • If you present this question on the etiquette board, you'll be told the only thing a bridesmaid MUST do is pay for her dress and show up the day of the wedding.  A bridesmaid is not required to do anything else, nor is it customary to pay for the shower/bachelorette party.

    Personally, if I can't make it to a party because of kids, etc.  I would not want to pay for something I was not participating in.  Nor would I, as a participating member, expect someone who wasn't going to be there to pay for it.  If you all can't afford the actity that was chosen, perhaps a new plan needs to be developed.

  • No. I had two of my girls bail about two weeks out and my MOH just rearranged some of the plans to make it more budget friendly for those involved and I chipped in a bit to help fill the gap. I would not fund a party I was not attending and would never have expected my girls to offer up cash if they weren't coming. 
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