Chit Chat

2 Weeks to go and everything is falling apart.

My fiance's parents have made it abundantly clear that they don't like me, they have made no effort to get to know me and then they spread lies about me to all their friends and other family members. My fiance sees it and has stood up for me so now his parents are treating him badly. At first it was limited to his parents and his sisters were supportive of us as were his grandparents. Unfortunately his mother is always desperately seeking attention at our expense. One of my fiance's sisters has fallen into her attention seeking, self pitying garbage. She listens to her mom complain about us endlessly but never bothers to ask us what has happened. Now his grandparents have followed suit. My fiance is estranged from his parents (his only crime was loving someone they don't like) and now his grandparents are boycotting the wedding. I have bent over backwards trying to please his parents, nothing I do changes anything.

On top of it we're pulling our wedding together in a 4 month time frame (down to the last 2 weeks now). Given our wedding is August 24th many of the people we invited had already committed to weddings the same day. We originally invited 52 people...we've only gotten RSVPs for 26 people. we were hoping we'd have about 40 people...NOPE.

Stressed OUT!


Re: 2 Weeks to go and everything is falling apart.

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    I'm sure your FI is devastated by these turn of events with his grandparents.  Remind him that you love him and will support him through this time.  It can be tough to have family not accept your choices.  It sounds like your FI will be better off without his family, they sound toxic.  Let your FI know that you will be here to listen to him whenever and if he starts to get beyond what you can help him with, suggest he go see a therapist to help him deal with his family.

    Just try to stay calm these last 2 weeks.  Remember at the end, you will be married to your best friend!  Don't let the people who don't want to/can't attend your wedding get your down.  Just think of the people who will be there and will be happy to celebrate your wedding with you and FI.
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    'his only crime was loving someone they don't like'

    I think this is the most theatrically dramatic thing I've ever seen written on these boards.

    Agreed. That's quite dramatic. Sorry that your FI's parents are acting so horribly though. You have 26 guests, so go crazy and upgrade food/booze/whatever if you want. Less people rsvping yes means more money to play with - whether it be on your honeymoon, for a house or on the wedding. Have a blast with those who can attend!
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    I know it's easier said than done, but try to stop allowing them to upset you. Their actions are silly, but at least your FI is backing you up. That's a good thing! 

    Don't sweat the number of people attending. Remember that those who do attend are there to support you and your marriage. If his parents don't like it, they can suck it. It's a day of celebration, so be happy! 
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    I've seen a lot of crazy and heard about a whole lot more on these boards, and I'm sorry you're dealing with drama. May I inquire as to why they say they don't like you? What ae e they saying you did?

    I hope it's something trivial blown out of proportion so you might have a chance to reconcile. Nothing is sadder than a broken family.

    Previously Alaynajuliana

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    ksblumbksblumb member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2013
    Based on your post it seems like you are being a little dramatic and feeding the issue a little.

    That being said, the situation sucks. My husbands grandmother told us that she would not attend the reception because there would be alcohol. My uncle and godfather told us he would not attend the ceremony because it wasnt in a church. I was upset and it sucked, but we told them that we loved them both and hoped that they would be there with us to celebrate our marriage, but that we understood if they couldn't due to their own beliefs. In the end they both RSVPd yes and both came to the ceremony and reception.

    By getting caught up in the drama you are just fueling the fire. Tell them that it is important to you and FI that they are there to support you on your wedding day, but that you understand that it is a personal choice. Then wash your hands of it.

    Focus on those who will be there. Those who are excited for you. Focus on you and your FI and the fact that you will finally be exchanging vows.
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    Why dont they like you?

    I agree that 26 of your closest family and family is perfectly fine. Do you really want people at your wedding who have been nothing but negative?

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Why such a short engagement? I'm wondering if there is more to this story. It certainly sounds as though your FI's family is being unreasonable, but as Dr. Phil says, "no matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides." Why don't they like you?
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    Ditto as PPs. There seems to be a lot of info missing.

    Why do they say they don't like you?

    Why are you having a 4 month engagement?

    How old are you/how long have you been together? -- probably not important but I wonder if crazy pants parents are upset that you're "rushing it"


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