Rehearsal Dinner Drama

bekahdawnx3 · August 2013

My parents' are paying for my wedding ceremony and reception, and my fiance's parents will be paying for the rehearsal dinner. We have not made any plans for the rehearsal dinner. However, my fiance's parents only want to invite the bridal party and immediate family (not out of town guests), which was fine with me because we have a lot of people coming from out of town. My mom just forwarded me an email that she sent to her (out of town) family with the details of the wedding times, etc so we can get a rough count before we even send out invitations. In the bottom of the email she added "There will be a rehearsal on Friday with dinner to follow." I am frustrated that she added that, but it is not like she can take back the email, so what should we do? Do we have to invite out of town guests now that she said that (we are talking probably a 100 person rehearsal dinner for a 150 person wedding if so)? She, of course, offered to pay for these people, but I am afraid this offer will only offend my fiance's parents, plus, this invitation will probably make them feel obligated to invite their out of town guests as well, which still adds to the cost they will have to pay. What do you think?

Jen4948 · August 2013

No, I don't think you have to invite out-of-town guests, but your mother needs to email back anyone who isn't invited with an explanation and an apology: "Unfortunately, it turns out that I discussed the rehearsal dinner with you without checking with the hosts that they can invite you, and it is not possible for them to do so. I apologize for this confusion. However, we still look forward to seeing you at the wedding if you are able to come."

NYCBruin · August 2013

Eeek. I think your mom needs to fix her mistake and let people know that they are not invited to the RD.

OOT guests don't need to be invited to the RD.

Xstatic3333 · August 2013

Agreed, this is your mom's mistake to fix. I'm sorry, you must feel very frustrated!

MoonlightSilver · August 2013

Your mom made a mistake. Thankfully she's just gathering interest, not inviting people. I'd say do not invite out of town guests (unless your paying inlaws want to). If any of your mom's family/friends ask why they weren't invited to the rehearsal dinner, she can explain to them that she was mistaken in bringing it up.