This Is Ridiculous!

kahaywa

We're about 11 months out and already have a lot of people asking us where we're registered!  First of all, I feel very awkward with the whole "this is a list of stuff we want" thing (I'm the kind of person who doesn't even celebrate my birthday), and second it seems waaayyyyyy too early. On top of all that, we have been told by several people that when setting up the registry, aim for 2-3 things per person attending so gift-givers will have more options to choose from. With the way our families work, we are expecting 300+ guests, so unless we list individual towels I have no idea how that is even reasonable. Any ideas on how to make this more manageable?

jessicabessica

I think it's probably a little early for you to register.  Things could get discontinued, and then you'd have to redo.  But it's fine to start if you wanted to.  When people ask, just tell them that you haven't registered yet and are working on it.  

Go through your house and make a list in each room of what you want.  Throw pillows on the couch?  Nice soap dish in the bathroom?  If you don't have many things for your home already, then you might want to look up a list online with suggested items, and you can work from that.  

The 2-3 items per guest is what stores advise to get you to register for a lot of things so they make money.  Register for what you need/want, and make sure to have a variety of price ranges (including a good amount in the lower end), but don't worry about hitting the 2-3 per guest mark.

itzMS

Did you know you can make your registries 100% online without ever setting foot in the store?

I divided up the major items between three stores and it was super easy to avoid duplicates:

Macy's: Bedding, towels, placesettings, small kitchen appliances, crystal

Bed, Bath and Beyond: Kichen gadgets, knives, silverware, entertaining pieces, glassware

Crate and Barrell: Serving pieces/baskets, cutting boards and other prep equipment.

MayDay513

kahaywa said:

We're about 11 months out and already have a lot of people asking us where we're registered!  First of all, I feel very awkward with the whole "this is a list of stuff we want" thing (I'm the kind of person who doesn't even celebrate my birthday), and second it seems waaayyyyyy too early. On top of all that, we have been told by several people that when setting up the registry, aim for 2-3 things per person attending so gift-givers will have more options to choose from. With the way our families work, we are expecting 300+ guests, so unless we list individual towels I have no idea how that is even reasonable. Any ideas on how to make this more manageable?

It's not hard when you get a bathroom set with 8 towels, 6 hand towels, 6 wash clothes or whatever you like. But it is a lot. I followed what they suggested and trimmed down because I knew where we would be living and we didn't have space. If you opt to not register you can do that too and just say, we are saving for a honeymoon or new home fund.

southernbelle0915

I'm like you - I try to fly under the radar during gift giving events. It seems like a lot, but when you think about 1 item = 1 plate/towel/pillow, it's really not. Take inventory of what you need now and keep in mind it's good to plan for the future, too. We registered for extra plates (in case some break), extra towels (they'll wear out), etc. so that we'll still have matching sets as the years go on.

Also think about heirloom stuff (if you're into that). China is a good example of stuff you might want to pass down some day.

Simply Fated

Only register for things you actually need or want. Don't add things just to hit a minimum number. That's not fair to your guests who want to get you something you'll actually use.
Having said that, try to think outside the box when registering. People always think... linens, towels, pots, pans and that's it. There are tons of things you can register for that you might not even knew existed. And even stuff you have, but want to upgrade. Like towels. They can get ratty so fast if you use them all the time. And tupperware. Everyone needs more tupperware.

KDM323

RJSabbah said:

Don't be afraid to register for as much as you want or even things you don't want. Meaning, you can always change your mind and get a store credit later. Its true, you should give people tons of stuff to choose from. It won't be that hard to register. Nowadays, you can even register online. Have so much fun and don't worry- I also felt like it was weird to have people buy me things. Its ok though- this is a ONE TIME THING!! Enjoy!!!

Have a great wedding!!

Don't register for things you don't want or need. There is no guarantee that you will actually be able to return things. Plus, why would you want your guests to spend their time and money buying you a gift you have no use for? It is fine to have a small registry. It is also fine to have NO registry and decline having a bridal shower if you don't want/need a lot of "things". Don't feel obligated to create numerous registries and fill them with crap you don't want or need because others pressure you into it. It is rude to list items on a registry simply with the intention of "returning" them

kp53114

First off, it's great that people are so excited for you two!  

Second, there are a number of sites out there that suggest registering at different times.  I'm in the camp that you should start a small registry soon after getting engaged so excited guests can buy you an engagement gift THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT.  The problem with not registering is that determined guests will wind up buying you things you may not actually want/need.  

As for how much to register for is entirely up to you.  We are starting small with the registry and then as the date gets closer will be adding more to it as needed.  If you don't necessarily want things you can register for a honeymoon / house fund or ask that guests donate to your favorite charity in your name, or a combination of all three.  All of these are acceptable, however if you don't share with them what you want/need, they'll most likely give you what they think you want/need.  

JoanE2012

KeraE86 said:

First off, it's great that people are so excited for you two!  

Second, there are a number of sites out there that suggest registering at different times.  I'm in the camp that you should start a small registry soon after getting engaged so excited guests can buy you an engagement gift THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT.  The problem with not registering is that determined guests will wind up buying you things you may not actually want/need.  

As for how much to register for is entirely up to you.  We are starting small with the registry and then as the date gets closer will be adding more to it as needed.  If you don't necessarily want things you can register for a honeymoon / house fund or ask that guests donate to your favorite charity in your name, or a combination of all three.  All of these are acceptable, however if you don't share with them what you want/need, they'll most likely give you what they think you want/need.  

Awful advice.  Honeymoon and house funds are essentially asking for cash.  Charities are a very personal nature.  Take any cash you receive and donate it privately if you wish or put it towards the honeymoon or house.

OP - Create a registry.  You will find plenty of things you need or could upgrade once you start going through the stores.