Anyone else find this horribly offensive?

nskaplan

BUSTED!!!

Simply Fated

MamaPolson said:

.....seriously...nothing better to do ladies?

Are you talking to us ladies or the ladies complaining about gifts over at WW?


Anyway, the cost of the picture frame shouldn't matter. I have picture frames all over my house and most of them probably cost $9.99 from Bed Bath and Beyond, picked them out myself.
I think some brides just have expectations that are unreasonably high. It's just a gift, it shouldn't matter how much it's worth, ya know?

MamaPolson

What's the difference? It's just as silly that your wasting your time complaining about woman complaining. . .

Simply Fated

MamaPolson said:

What's the difference? It's just as silly that your wasting your time complaining about woman complaining. . .

How I spend my time isn't really any of your business.


Although, I guess I'll point out that you're complaining about ladies complaining about ladies complaining. I mean, really?

+misslisa

Huh. I think my standard gift to anyone for any occasion is around $30-40. Most people I know register for things like spoons and potholders, and even putting together a basket of their Most Wanted kitchen goods doesn't amount to much in the way of spending.

Interesting.

crunchymamaof2

Oh man I'm so sad that you guys voted me off. Because that can happen on a public forum and all. Should we count how many threads people on WW have started to bash TK? Pot meet kettle. And really, looks like you guys are doing just as much lurking here. I'm over it.   

Simply Fated

You're complaining that someone is talking about your thread because they were lurking on WW... yet YOU were doing the same over here. And somehow you don't see the hypocrisy in any of this?


Whatever. If THIS is what you want to be famous for, go for it. You complained about getting an inexpensive gift. Enjoy your 15 minutes, I guess.

southernbelle0915

MamaPolson said:

What's the difference? It's just as silly that your wasting your time complaining about woman complaining. . .

I don't think making a point of this is silly at all. We are talking about the conversation in general and using the WW thread as an example (we also used the picnic basket fiasco *link* when that was current). 

The general consensus here is that you invite people to your wedding because you want them to witness your love - not so that they can give you presents or "cover their plates". To complain about a gift someone gave you is super entitled, spoiled and ungrateful. To graciously accept a gift is to thank someone politely and not talk shit about them or their gift behind their backs. I guess it's just a matter of social grace. Some people are just more gracious than others.

As for the way people spend their time - I think it's totally worth having this discussion. A lot of people lurk on WW and TK. On WW, they're getting the message that it's ok to talk shit about your guests/their gifts and expect more. On TK, they're getting the message to unconditionally host people and receive gifts graciously. I know which side I'm on....

Megkup726

Ok-posting one more time and then I'm done.

It was a long post so I'm not sure if you read the entire thing. So a recap on why I was pissed (and I'm still not entirely sure as to why I'm defending myself) it was a guest I was told to invite by my mother. I was upset because he and his wife attended, spent the night and had brunch the next day. The point was if you truly can't afford to give anything, totally ok. But if you can treat yourself to 2 days of my wedding festivities, I would appreciate you showing that in a THOUGHTFUL gift...not some silver picture frame that didn't say "Mrs & Mr" or anything wedding-related. SO that being said-it was a post for the girls I enjoy talking with on WW. I have never seen TK forums until this was brought to my attention. I had no idea we were even enemies--til Alycia felt the need to report on what we are doing??

Anywho-have a nice day to all of you-the conversation is long dead and if it's really going to be 2 "sides" then just stay on your own if you don't like us or thing we are brats.

Simply Fated

Megkup726 said:

Ok-posting one more time and then I'm done.

It was a long post so I'm not sure if you read the entire thing. So a recap on why I was pissed (and I'm still not entirely sure as to why I'm defending myself) it was a guest I was told to invite by my mother. I was upset because he and his wife attended, spent the night and had brunch the next day. The point was if you truly can't afford to give anything, totally ok. But if you can treat yourself to 2 days of my wedding festivities, I would appreciate you showing that in a THOUGHTFUL gift...not some silver picture frame that didn't say "Mrs & Mr" or anything wedding-related. SO that being said-it was a post for the girls I enjoy talking with on WW. I have never seen TK forums until this was brought to my attention. I had no idea we were even enemies--til Alycia felt the need to report on what we are doing??

Anywho-have a nice day to all of you-the conversation is long dead and if it's really going to be 2 "sides" then just stay on your own if you don't like us or thing we are brats.

I guess... same to you?


Your post over there really sounded selfish. You sent a courtesy invite because you didn't want to say no to your mom and now you're upset because someone gave you a gift you didn't like. That's life.

You vented it out and now that it's out of your system, you can move on to complain about something else, like how overrated Etiquette is or something. 220 comments so far, your gang is all riled up just because we think you sounded ungrateful in a post? And WE'RE the ones wasting our time?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go remove an Emily Post book from acvove's ass. Would you like it when I'm done? A few friends of yours could certainly use it.

KatWAG

Someone actually posted this calculator on the IL-Chicago board. Apprently living in Chicago my gift should be a minimum for $235.

Simply Fated

KatWAG said:

Someone actually posted this calculator on the IL-Chicago board. Apprently living in Chicago my gift should be a minimum for $235.

o.0

Who comes up with this shit? Seriously?

crunchymamaof2

Simply Fated said:

Megkup726 said:

Ok-posting one more time and then I'm done.

It was a long post so I'm not sure if you read the entire thing. So a recap on why I was pissed (and I'm still not entirely sure as to why I'm defending myself) it was a guest I was told to invite by my mother. I was upset because he and his wife attended, spent the night and had brunch the next day. The point was if you truly can't afford to give anything, totally ok. But if you can treat yourself to 2 days of my wedding festivities, I would appreciate you showing that in a THOUGHTFUL gift...not some silver picture frame that didn't say "Mrs & Mr" or anything wedding-related. SO that being said-it was a post for the girls I enjoy talking with on WW. I have never seen TK forums until this was brought to my attention. I had no idea we were even enemies--til Alycia felt the need to report on what we are doing??

Anywho-have a nice day to all of you-the conversation is long dead and if it's really going to be 2 "sides" then just stay on your own if you don't like us or thing we are brats.

I guess... same to you?


Your post over there really sounded selfish. You sent a courtesy invite because you didn't want to say no to your mom and now you're upset because someone gave you a gift you didn't like. That's life.

You vented it out and now that it's out of your system, you can move on to complain about something else, like how overrated Etiquette is or something. 220 comments so far, your gang is all riled up just because we think you sounded ungrateful in a post? And WE'RE the ones wasting our time?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go remove an Emily Post book from acvove's ass. Would you like it when I'm done? A few friends of yours could certainly use it.

you're my new girl crush

ElcaB

Megkup726 said:

Ok-posting one more time and then I'm done.

It was a long post so I'm not sure if you read the entire thing. So a recap on why I was pissed (and I'm still not entirely sure as to why I'm defending myself) it was a guest I was told to invite by my mother. I was upset because he and his wife attended, spent the night and had brunch the next day. The point was if you truly can't afford to give anything, totally ok. But if you can treat yourself to 2 days of my wedding festivities, I would appreciate you showing that in a THOUGHTFUL gift...not some silver picture frame that didn't say "Mrs & Mr" or anything wedding-related. SO that being said-it was a post for the girls I enjoy talking with on WW. I have never seen TK forums until this was brought to my attention. I had no idea we were even enemies--til Alycia felt the need to report on what we are doing??

Anywho-have a nice day to all of you-the conversation is long dead and if it's really going to be 2 "sides" then just stay on your own if you don't like us or thing we are brats.

grumbledore

Megkup726 said:

Ok-posting one more time and then I'm done.

It was a long post so I'm not sure if you read the entire thing. So a recap on why I was pissed (and I'm still not entirely sure as to why I'm defending myself) it was a guest I was told to invite by my mother. I was upset because he and his wife attended, spent the night and had brunch the next day. The point was if you truly can't afford to give anything, totally ok. But if you can treat yourself to 2 days of my wedding festivities, I would appreciate you showing that in a THOUGHTFUL gift...not some silver picture frame that didn't say "Mrs & Mr" or anything wedding-related. SO that being said-it was a post for the girls I enjoy talking with on WW. I have never seen TK forums until this was brought to my attention. I had no idea we were even enemies--til Alycia felt the need to report on what we are doing??

Anywho-have a nice day to all of you-the conversation is long dead and if it's really going to be 2 "sides" then just stay on your own if you don't like us or thing we are brats.

Congratulations?  Complaining online is all well and good, but don't get your panties in a wad if people call you out on it since you put it out there in the public view.  Being upset about ANY gift you receive is rude, period.  No person is ever required to give you a gift of any quality, ever.

Jessa617

@ElcaB Thanks for the info. I decided to try out this handy "calculator" kirzzo posted and apparently I should give $0!!  I know I should still give something but wasn't sure what would be expected. I think $50 is reasonable. 

+misslisa

Huh. I guess if I can't afford a fancy gift next time, I'll just send a note to the bride saying "I know you weren't supposed to think about presents, because it's bad etiquette, but I know you WERE ANYWAY, and eff you and your implicit sense of entitlement! I won't contribute to your crappy behavior! I'm not coming! Good luck and all the best. Hugs and kisses. Have a rainbow."

grumbledore

+misslisa said:

Huh. I guess if I can't afford a fancy gift next time, I'll just send a note to the bride saying "I know you weren't supposed to think about presents, because it's bad etiquette, but I know you WERE ANYWAY, and eff you and your implicit sense of entitlement! I won't contribute to your crappy behavior! I'm not coming! Good luck and all the best. Hugs and kisses. Have a rainbow."

What the what?

+misslisa

If I can't afford a fancy gift, I should clearly not attend, lest some bride go online and bitch about me. My attendance is obviously not why they invited me.

grumbledore

+misslisa said:

If I can't afford a fancy gift, I should clearly not attend, lest some bride go online and bitch about me. My attendance is obviously not why they invited me.

Ah ok I didn't read your sarcasm correctly the first time.

Dreamergirl8812

MamaPolson said:

What's the difference? It's just as silly that your wasting your time complaining about woman complaining. . .

Wait. So you're complaining about women complaining about women complaining about their guests?

GypsyWife_

LeSwan85 said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Except for the wacky re gifts, that thread bummed me out. I can't believe the girl who was confused about what to do with "only" $20. Apparently she missed the day in math class where you learn that small amounts of money can add up to a large amount.

For realzies. I was like, "listen girly, if you don't want that $20 you can give it to me. It's half a gas tank at least, which can get you pretty darn far."

It's not offensive, just seems really entitled. Apparently I am a major cheap ass because since I'm not a Romney, I tend to keep all my gifts under the $50 mark. $135? What the hell? That's my entire holiday gift budget for like, three people. Sheezus.

I agree that I guess it's good they're venting semi-anonymously on the interwebz and aren't like that one thread where the person sent an actual note admonishing someone for not "paying for their plate". I guess I just can't understand the mentality though. Even a $10 gift is $10 more than what you had before. What's so bad about that?

What do you mean by Romney?

NerdyLucy

MamaPolson said:

What's the difference? It's just as silly that your wasting your time complaining about woman complaining. . .

You mean like you are?

NerdyLucy

Ungrateful is ungrateful is ungrateful.

crunchymamaof2

GypsyBridetobe said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Except for the wacky re gifts, that thread bummed me out. I can't believe the girl who was confused about what to do with "only" $20. Apparently she missed the day in math class where you learn that small amounts of money can add up to a large amount.

For realzies. I was like, "listen girly, if you don't want that $20 you can give it to me. It's half a gas tank at least, which can get you pretty darn far."

It's not offensive, just seems really entitled. Apparently I am a major cheap ass because since I'm not a Romney, I tend to keep all my gifts under the $50 mark. $135? What the hell? That's my entire holiday gift budget for like, three people. Sheezus.

I agree that I guess it's good they're venting semi-anonymously on the interwebz and aren't like that one thread where the person sent an actual note admonishing someone for not "paying for their plate". I guess I just can't understand the mentality though. Even a $10 gift is $10 more than what you had before. What's so bad about that?

What do you mean by Romney?

I'm assuming she meant Mitt Romney, the ex MA governor and loser to Obama the last election

Viczaesar

So according to that calculator I should give -$70 to my friend who's getting married next week.  How should I go about billing her? 

ScrabbleAndLlamas

If you don't attend a casual weekday wedding in Alabama that requires an international flight, you don't really know them, and they've been married a whole mess of times, they have to pay you $169. Time to make some friends in Alabama.

crunchymamaof2

  Viczaesar said:

So according to that calculator I should give -$70 to my friend who's getting married next week.  How should I go about billing her? 

Oh man it does negative amounts too??? It gets better!!!

d2va

I personally gave $75-$100 before I was engaged. We have attended one wedding as a couple, and I believe we gave $200. I would appreciate any gift. I have family coming from Israel for my wedding. The flights are very expensive. My aunt told me that the money she will spend on her and 2 of hers kids flights was the budget for our gift. I told her that I would rather her be with us celebrating our marriage than the money.

Simply Fated

It said I should give $135 for a wedding I'm going to soon. That's about $100 less than I was going to give. So... that calculator just saved me some cash! Woohoo!