Oh Chairs - Just sharing.

MayDay513

I attended a wedding yesterday where there was about 80-100 people (I suck at eyeballing). There were 12 chairs set up for a ceremony outside on a hill under a tree. Everyone was told "Chairs are for the elderly, like 49 and up" as they walked in. Which was a lie because there was more than 12 people in their 50s. I would say the most awkward part was, that only a quarter of the guests got the memo on this and that the B&G wanted people to bring picnic blankets and during the ceremony. So there's the EXTRA SPECIAL VIPS in chairs, 25 people on their own picnic blankets and another 50+ people standing or squatting during the ceremony. Lets just say a little distracting.

Besides that the venue was beautiful, and they got married.

NerdyLucy

That's never a good way to welcome guests.

itzMS

WTF? The guests were supposed to sit on the ground to witness the ceremony?!

MayDay513

itzMS said:

WTF? The guests were supposed to sit on the ground to witness the ceremony?!

Uh huh. Which wouldn't have worked even if everyone brought picnic blankets. Your sitting behind people in chairs it was weird.

Brides planning outdoor ceremony: TIP please try and figure out a way for your guests to be able to hear the ceremony. one small speaker and a small mic may not do it. If any of you are concerned about people playing on their phones during the ceremony, then make sure your guests can hear whats going on, or they will get sick of straining to listen for 25 mins and give up.

southernbelle0915

elizabetheleven

Last summer I went to a wedding outdoors with no chairs, no mic, in the sun. It was awful. Everyone looked around like "where do we go?" Then out of no where the bride walked down the "aisle" (no music to let us know it was about to begin). Everyone, and I mean like 100 guests, were just walking around chit chatting then BOOM the ceremony started. So we all had to crowd around the one tree for some shade. And we couldn't hear a damn thing. We realized they were married once they kissed.

Before that wedding I had absolutely no clue people actually do this. Please people... Never ever not have a chair for every ass!!!

More horribleness happened at the reception... But I won't even go into that mess right now.

KeptInStitches

Every time I see one of these threads ... ugh. I just can't believe that common courtesy has gone this far by the wayside. They would have had to be extremely close friends of mine for me to stay through that.

NYCBruin

It baffles me that it even needs to be said that you should have a place for your guests.  How is this even a question?  Since they had chairs for some people, they clearly realized that people need chairs-it's not like they just completely forgot about them.

MayDay513

What got me was "Elderly 49 and older" like WTF?

However, what would you think if the bride and groom provided enough picnic blankets for everyone. Like if that's what they wanted for their ceremony, what would you think? I understand there are people with back problems, have a hard time getting up from the ground etc but what would you do?

Jen4948

huynhette said:

What got me was "Elderly 49 and older" like WTF?

However, what would you think if the bride and groom provided enough picnic blankets for everyone. Like if that's what they wanted for their ceremony, what would you think? I understand there are people with back problems, have a hard time getting up from the ground etc but what would you do?

Not too many things are absolute necessities at a wedding, but enough chairs or benches for everyone to sit on are among them.  Inviting your guests to sit on the ground, even on a picnic blanket, just isn't okay, exactly because it's hard to get up from sitting on the ground.  And if you're wearing nice clothes, sitting on the ground is even less desirable.

kmmssg

Elderly 49 and older - WHAT?????

This 53 yo would have showed them what elderly is not.....that would have pissed me off royally and I would have made a comment loud enough to be heard.

bunni727

huynhette said:

What got me was "Elderly 49 and older" like WTF?

However, what would you think if the bride and groom provided enough picnic blankets for everyone. Like if that's what they wanted for their ceremony, what would you think? I understand there are people with back problems, have a hard time getting up from the ground etc but what would you do?

I would still go, because H and I can get up and down easily, but it's a really crappy thing to do to guests. It would be impossible for lots of guests to sit that way and just plain uncomfortable for the rest.

RedJacks25

I know this is beside the point, but my mom just turned 50. She's not at all "elderly," and she'd get very offended if someone classified her as such. I think she would choose not to use the "elderly" chairs just out of spite.

STARMOON44

I wish brides would get it through their heads that when you do this, people don't remember how pretty your venue was, they remember how uncomfortable they were.

jessicabessica

elizabetheleven said:

Last summer I went to a wedding outdoors with no chairs, no mic, in the sun. It was awful. Everyone looked around like "where do we go?" Then out of no where the bride walked down the "aisle" (no music to let us know it was about to begin). Everyone, and I mean like 100 guests, were just walking around chit chatting then BOOM the ceremony started. So we all had to crowd around the one tree for some shade. And we couldn't hear a damn thing. We realized they were married once they kissed. Before that wedding I had absolutely no clue people actually do this. Please people... Never ever not have a chair for every ass!!! More horribleness happened at the reception... But I won't even go into that mess right now.

Why bother inviting guests if this is what you want?  Sorry you had that experience.  

ETA: @huynhette, I really think there should be chair/bench seating when you are inviting people to witness a wedding ceremony.  If someone does picnic blankets, they need to be 100% ok with casual attire, and make this really clear to their guests through their invitation style and verbal communications about the wedding.  

ElcaB

Ugh. I understand some venues have obstacles to conquer when it comes to seating, but I cannot believe brides think something like that is a solution. Our venue won't let us take chairs outside, so we're going to have everyone just bring their own (don't worry, we're making sure everyone knows!). 

Haha! In actuality, we're renting chairs from a rental place. To me, if a venue doesn't allow chairs, benches, etc., it's not the right venue. 

I'd also love to know who designated "like 49" as the age restriction on the chairs. That cracks me up. 

MayDay513

Gosh. I'm glad someone understands.
The 49 and older thing really peeved me because if that was the stipulation there still weren't enough chairs.

The reception was at the same venue in an indoor building within walking distance (it was a park, so really like half a city block). They had plenty of chairs in here and extras.

I believe the chair snaffu was definitely a lack of wanting to pay for extra chairs, or a laziness of wanting to set up and tear down chairs.

We didn't know this until we showed up and a couple family members were telling us how it was "gonna go down".

Oh last thing, the buffet line ran out of plates. Last 30 people had to eat off of multiple dessert plates.

I get flammed by DH's family for making comments about essentials, because apparently our wedding was the nicest the family has ever been to. But with 5 sisters to still get married, I'm still asking questions and observing so I know what to do and what not to do in the future.

Bubbles2014

Our celebrant suggested only having chairs for elderly and 'important' guests. Shut that one down so fast his head spun. Every butt gets a seat, no buts. I continued by telling him it was rude, and all my guests were important. I hope he never suggests that to another bride again.

NYCBruin

Yeah the 49 age mark is a super bizarre cutoff. And what about guests that have ailments the couple may not know about that would make standing for more than five minutes painful/impossible?

Dreamergirl8812

I would have been very uncomfortable in that situation. Not physically, I'm 30. But seeing people who have difficulty sitting on the ground not getting a seat? Yuck. And the cutoff was 49? So were there 49 year olds sitting while 70 years olds were standing?

That's awful.

MayDay513

NYCBruin said:

Yeah the 49 age mark is a super bizarre cutoff. And what about guests that have ailments the couple may not know about that would make standing for more than five minutes painful/impossible?

This is a great point being as the bride actually is under 49 and has arthritis in her knees you would think she would consider what she would require for herself as a standard for others at least.

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I would have been very uncomfortable in that situation. Not physically, I'm 30. But seeing people who have difficulty sitting on the ground not getting a seat? Yuck. And the cutoff was 49? So were there 49 year olds sitting while 70 years olds were standing?

That's awful.

Honestly, it was for immediate family only. I don't know why anyone even bothered telling people elderly could sit too. There was not enough chairs even for that.

SomethingBeautiful08

Because I work with kids at church and because I don't always let that stop me from wearing a skirt, I'm acquainted with sitting on the ground in nice cloths.  I do it partly to show the girls in my class that it is possible, but I will admit, it is not always very comfortable, and getting up and down without flashing anyone is not always very graceful.  This is not something I really want to at a wedding.

I also think that it is sad that things like chairs and plates are even up for discussion, that people are that silly that we even have to vent about it.

audreyecu61

My opinion, chairs are very important. So have a chair for everyone. I paid an extra $500 for chairs and the labor to move them into the reception area. My guests were greatful for the ceremony chairs.

As far as the 49 and up, being elderly. I guess I fall into that category and I'd find it offensive considering I do 100 mile bike rides.

Simple plain white chairs are about $2 to $3 a chair, I think the plastic ones are less. It is a cost, but a necessary one for the comfort of all your guests.

 

STARMOON44

I wish brides would get it through their heads that when you do this, people don't remember how pretty your venue was, they remember how uncomfortable they were.

tesskerr

I even think having EXTRA chairs is important, so you don't end up having to sit in random spots, away from your SO. We are usually the last to arrive to weddings, FI pisses around when he is getting ready (tries on sooo many shirt and tie combos, it's redic) and there is usually a random seat left here and there, so we usually just stand at the back. There is usually a few people standing at the back, for that reason. So I think a few extra chairs is a really nice, thoughtful touch!

NYCBruin

STARMOON44 said:

I wish brides would get it through their heads that when you do this, people don't remember how pretty your venue was, they remember how uncomfortable they were.

This!!!! And how rude you were to put your desire for a specific location or not wanting to pay a fee ahead of guests' basic comfort.

Weesh

NYCBruin said:

I wish brides would get it through their heads that when you do this, people don't remember how pretty your venue was, they remember how uncomfortable they were.

This!!!! And how rude you were to put your desire for a specific location or not wanting to pay a fee ahead of guests' basic comfort.

Exactly.  I went to a wedding a few years ago that was in their backyard.  They took some of the chairs from the tented area for the reception and put them in the back for the ceremony.  It was hot, there weren't enough chairs, and all I can really remember is that.  I couldn't hear the ceremony (no microphones) and I didn't have a freaking place to sit.

I'm getting married outside, and I'm making damn sure every ass has a seat, they can hear, and hopefully, they have a beverage of some kind in hand.

MayDay513

UPDATE: I saw the bride from this wedding this weekend. So it was her second marriage so she chose not to wear white. She wore like a dark navy dress (full length flowy etc), and her bridesmaids wore periwinkle dresses, there was no color scheme really.

She seriously gave me crap about wearing a bright blue dress(cotton sundress) to her wedding. I was like WTF?! My mother in law wore a blue floral dress. My SILs wore jeans to this wedding for heavens sake. And she seriously tried to give me 'tude for wearing a blue dress.

Just venting.

Edit to add details

delujm0

There should always be enough chairs for everyone...recently i've gone to a number of receptions where the food is buffet, and apparently someone is spreading the falsehood that it's totally cool to only have enough seating for about 80% of your guests because "not everyone will want to eat at the same time."  False.  Everyone will absolutely want to eat at the same time because by the time dinner is put out, it is dinner time, and also the cake is going to be served all at once isn't it?  I mean you don't need to assign seats...but everyone should be able to sit down at the same time!  At one such wedding, FI and i had to sit and eat our food at separate tables due to lack of seating!

 

Don't even get me started on weddings where this happens, and where the reception is over dinner time (like 6-10 or 7-11pm) and they only serve "light fare" instead of items that could constitute an actual meal.  Sigh.

MuppetOverlord

I wish in these situations that they'd at least tell people. I'd bring my purple coleman foldup chair and be the memorable part of the wedding because everyone would be envious of moi.

banana468

Sounds like she just doesn't have a clue.