Pre-wedding Parties

Reopen this topic of 'Passion Parties'

So... I keep getting invited to bachelorette parties that are Passion Parties.  Is it just me or does this make anyone else uncomfortable?  I would flee out of sheer embarassment if my BM's threw me one. Frankly, I am uncomfortable being pushed to buy items intended for private use with my fiancee when all my friends (and a lot of people I don't really know) are around.  I feel crappy because I really don't wanna go and I have declined several invites because of these parties.  Then I feel guilty because I'm a crappy friend cause I didn't go, and on and on.  And another thing... when did a bachelorette party become a money/gift grab?!  What happened to going out and having some drinkypoos and having fun without being pressured into BUYING something?  I'm all for taking my bride to be friend out for a  night on the town and paying for drinks for her and whatnot, I *don't* want to go hang out with my friends and be pressured into throwing money at sex toys... idk it seems weird to me.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not super-prudish or anything, I have purchased things before, in the comfort and privacy of my home. 

I just got another invite yesterday.  It kind of made me mad, here's the invite's wording:
"Just a note that my invites tell people to bring money instead of gifts for the bride to use toward what she would like for products on her wish list.  We just put it all in a bag for her to use and they can put any amount in that they want and it's anonymous.  That will also count towards the party total and help her win that trip!"

Does anyone feel like I do about them? 

Re: Reopen this topic of 'Passion Parties'

  • I haven't gotten any of those types of invites personally, but I would also feel a bit out of place or odd, unless it was around a very few girls who I am very open and comfortable with. Outside of those maybe 5 girls, I would probably decline. 

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  • There's going to be probably close to 30 people there. :/ I feel like a terrible friend for not wanting to go.
  • I don't mind them personally although I do understand that it's not appropriate to ask people to a fundraising party.    The one party of this type that I attended was not one where I was pushed to help the bride with her toy purchases and no one seemed uncomfortable.   People saw the consultant and purchased in private.

    That said, I know that you need to know your audience and people need to understand if this sort of thing isn't everyone's cup of tea. 
  • Sex is a very personal thing-I don't think you're wrong for not wanting to go. I haven't been to one before, but how high-pressure are they? Could you get away with going, giggling along, maybe chipping in on something for the bride but not making a purchase for yourself? I wouldn't make a purchase in front of 30 people, but I wouldn't mind being around it, KWIM?
  • I think that invite wording was really gift grabby but the concept itself it ok.  I wouldn't do it for anyone but I'd go along and enjoy the time even without buying anything.
  • @Xstatic3333, yeah I know what cha mean. 

    It depends on the sales consultant but a lot of them are super-pushy.  This gal is a different one than I have experienced before. 

    Turns out I am probably going to have to work that evening anyhow, so I might just join for drinks at the bar afterwards.  I still feel crappy because this isn't the first BM party I would have turned down because of the Passion Party.  I just hope it's not becoming some weird trend...
  • I don't think you should feel bad for not feeling comfortable. It should be pretty obvious that a sex toy party might not be for everyone. I like the idea of joining at the bar after, or taking the bride out for drinks another time if you'd like.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would not feel comfortable either-especially if there is pressure on me to buy something, especially if it's sex toys.  Ah, no.  You want sex toys?  Buy them yourself.  Don't invite me to a sales party-let alone for sex toys.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would not feel comfortable talking about, sizing up or feeling up dildos and other sex toys with strangers - let alone some folks I know. That would be terribly uncomfortable for me. I'd rather be force to go to strip club. I would want people talking about what I purchased, didn't purchase or just gossiping about what was said at one of those parties. I would not go. I would send a classy nighty with my regret - it would be cheaper than buying something at the party and I wouldn't have to feel awkward about it!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • My Sorority does these every year, I have been to quite a few (6-7) the lady that we have do ours is great, she really talks about explaining things for a bunch of University students it takes the stigma out of going in to sex shops later in life. It’s like a bunch of GF's hanging around, and then if you want to make any purchases you go to a separate room, no one knows what’s in your bag unless you want them to of course.

    I have been to a few for bachelorette parties and they have always been a laugh and a half! Each to their own I guess.

  • Although I wouldn't mind going, if you are uncomfortable don't go!  I do agree that the wording on the invite was very gift grabby, but I would hope it wasn't meant to sound that way.  From my experience with any of these types of parties, you don't have much pressure to buy. 
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