What to do between ceremony and reception? Cocktail Hour not really feasible.

corgikitten

We are having our reception at the church where we are getting married. My problem is I'm not sure what to do between the ceremony and reception. We are not going to see each other before the wedding, which means pics have to be done immediately following the ceremony. We are having an Hors d' oeuvres reception, so I don't want to do a cocktail hour.
The pics shouldn't take too long (so a huge gap shouldn't occur) but I'm not sure what to do with the guests in between. I don't want them to go in the reception and start eating before we ever arrive.
Any ideas?

Abbyjensen

Well, you need to do something. You CAN do a cocktail hour. Maybe only platters of cold apps and drinks during cocktail hour, and the heavier/hot hot d'vours for the reception? That would split it up enough that it wouldn't feel like the same thing, and if possible have it in a different location at the venue. Basically, you need to do something, it needs to be hosted, and there needs to be food. Other than that, the only other option is to see each other beforehand and do pictures then.

snoopycac

You could even do some of the pictures before and some after. Do a lot of mother/bride, bridesmaids/bride, groomsmen/groom, separate pictures before -- then you have about half of the pictures left for after.  Which shouldn't take very long at all! Start the reception right away since it wont take that long and you can make an amazing grand entrance. If you are worried about food, don't put it out quite yet. People can mingle and look at decorations, go to the bathroom, sign the guestbook, admire the cake, find their seats, get situated and all that jazz. As long as you don't take more than 30 mins or so.

NYCMercedes

corgikitten said:

We are having our reception at the church where we are getting married. My problem is I'm not sure what to do between the ceremony and reception. We are not going to see each other before the wedding, which means pics have to be done immediately following the ceremony. We are having an Hors d' oeuvres reception, so I don't want to do a cocktail hour.
The pics shouldn't take too long (so a huge gap shouldn't occur) but I'm not sure what to do with the guests in between. I don't want them to go in the reception and start eating before we ever arrive.
Any ideas?

Your guests need to be properly entertained and not be treated rudely by being made to wait for you. @Abbyjensen had a good idea about serving cold apps. @Snoopycac had a good idea about getting the majority of pix out of the way before your wedding.

corgikitten

We will be doing all the pictures that we can do before hand and then only have the group ones left and the few of the two of us together.
There are two things about the cocktail hour: one is that we aren't having any alcoholic beverages since it is at the church and therefore no bartender, etc....punch, water, and tea will be available during the reception.
Also, budgeting doesn't really allow splitting the food - everything we are serving has to be served at the reception so as to have enough food and variety.
It's a fairly small wedding (50 people including wedding party) and even still we are really having to watch our money.

Blue_Bird

I agree with Abbyjensen. Also, do most of your pictures (where you're not together) before the ceremony.

JoanE2012

corgikitten said:

We will be doing all the pictures that we can do before hand and then only have the group ones left and the few of the two of us together.
There are two things about the cocktail hour: one is that we aren't having any alcoholic beverages since it is at the church and therefore no bartender, etc....punch, water, and tea will be available during the reception.
Also, budgeting doesn't really allow splitting the food - everything we are serving has to be served at the reception so as to have enough food and variety.
It's a fairly small wedding (50 people including wedding party) and even still we are really having to watch our money.

You need to properly host your guests while you are taking photos.  It doesn't need to be anything fancy.  Serve the punch, tea etc and find other ways to cut back so you can have some simple snacks to offer people.  Crackers, cheese, chips.....you don't need to go all out.  But you need to offer something.  You really don't want to have bored, hungry and thirsty guests, do you?  This will also help you.....you won't have to rush taking those photos.....you can take the full hour knowing your guests are happy. 

libby2483

Is it in your budget to have water, punch, a snack mix (like Gardettos), and a simple cheese or veggie tray during this time? That is all you really need, but your guests should have light refreshments.

AddieCake

Ditto PPs. You don't have to do anything large; just make sure there are SOME kind of refreshments so your guests are not standing/sitting around doing nothing while they wait on you. 

MobKaz

corgikitten said:

We are having our reception at the church where we are getting married. My problem is I'm not sure what to do between the ceremony and reception. We are not going to see each other before the wedding, which means pics have to be done immediately following the ceremony. We are having an Hors d' oeuvres reception, so I don't want to do a cocktail hour.
The pics shouldn't take too long (so a huge gap shouldn't occur) but I'm not sure what to do with the guests in between. I don't want them to go in the reception and start eating before we ever arrive.
Any ideas?

I understand you are not having a seated dinner.  However, much of the point of the cocktail hour IS to entertain guests while (some brief) pictures are being taken.  I cannot remember the last time I attended the cocktail hour where the B & G were present at the beginning of it.  

Snoopycac offered good suggestions for things guests could do during that time.  

MairePoppy

Is there any reason that you can't take your pictures AFTER the reception? A mocktail reception probably  won't  last more that two hours so that may be your best option. Otherwise, you'll need to provide access to restrooms, bottled water, light snacks and a comfortable place to sit, until the reception room opens. Does your church have a second social room or a lobby?

MyNameIsNot

You need to host your guests while they wait for you.  If you don't want them to eat without you, you're going to have to give up doing the photos immediately after the ceremony.  You can either see each other and do photos before, or you can do them after the reception.

Asking your guests to sit around for an hour with no refreshments is not acceptable.  

Jen4948

You don't have to serve alcohol, but you do have to provide hospitality for your guests while you're taking pictures.  Leaving them waiting for a prolonged period of time with nothing because you aren't willing to see the groom before the ceremony is a breach of etiquette.

The hospitality doesn't have to be lavish or expensive-but it must consist of something substantial.  Appetizers with water, soft drinks, and juice would be fine.

Take whatever pictures you can that don't involve both of you together before the ceremony, and minimize the gap between as best you can by limiting it to those photos that do involve the two of you.  Just don't take too many of them or leaving your guests waiting too long.

doeydo

I agree with PPs.  You could provide some non-alcoholic refreshments such as water, iced tea, coffee, tea, juice, and/or lemonade.  Maybe you could also provide some veggies and dip or something light that won't be too filling so you don't have to worry about them not being hungry for dinner/appetizers during the reception.

MobKaz

@MairePoppy....just wanted you to know I "loved" your response, not only for the sage advice, but because it is nice to "see" you again.

corgikitten

I obviously am not wanting to be rude to my guests....that is why I was asking for suggestions.  Thanks snoopycac for some good ideas that made me feel a little better about things. I also liked libby2483's suggestion of things like gardetto's....little snack things like that (I was already thinking of putting out nuts and snack mix and have those already sitting out)....so with that and the drinks which would also be ready for when people come in....I feel better about pulling this off.

MairePoppy

Thanks mobkaz.  I won't be posting much, because I don't feel very comfortable with the rules changing without fair notice. KWIM?