Moms and Maids

Possible Money Problem?

I have a friend that I asked to be a bridesmaid in my wedding next year. I know her family (her daughter and fiance were also asked to be in our wedding) are strapped for money. How can FI and I delicately offer to help with expenses without offending them?

~A successful woman can build a strong foundation from the bricks others have thrown at her~ Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Possible Money Problem?

  • What you do is ask her for her budget (you also ask her FI). I assume the daughter will be the flower girl? Or is she an adult? If she's an adult who will be a BM, you ask her individually. If she's a flower girl, you can simply say that you were planning on paying for the ring bearer and flower girl's attire and leave it at that.

    Once you have a budget from her for the dress, you can always offer to pay for whatever exceeds it. Say she gives you a budget of $75 but your other BMs all say $150 and you pick a dress that's $130. You can tell her that you want to be respectful of the original budget she provided, so you would like to pay the difference as your bridal party gift to her.
  • I had never thought about going about it like that. Thanks for the advice :)
    ~A successful woman can build a strong foundation from the bricks others have thrown at her~ Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Two members of our WP are travelling with, potentially, no family to stay with. We intend to pay for one of their nights at the hotel, especially as one is coming from the other side of the country. We've talked to the hotel and determined that we can just go into the hotel and say we want to pay for so and so's rooms.

    Okay, maybe that's not delicately offering to help, but it's a nice little surprise at the end of the stay that they weren't expecting.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ditto @alispain, except I'd still get her a separate NWR BP gift.
  • Let her know you budgeted for the FG's outfit. Show her a dress you picked out, ask her if she likes it and ask for the FG's size. Order it. 

    As for her... Do you have any other BMs? If so, it's delicate to pay for only one person. When you ask each BM privately for their dress budget, let her know that you'd love to pay for her dress if she'll let you. If she won't, maybe pay for shoes or other accessories for your BMs (not their gift, just to be nice). That might help her out a lot. 

    It's really nice that you're helping out your friend.

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