"Private Vows"

kesotkov

My fiance and I are very private people. We are going to say aloud traditional vows; however, we were thinking of writing personal vows to each other in letters, then exchange them by having the MOH and BM deliver them, and then read them in private right before the ceremony. I thought this may be nice because we can frame the two letters and display them in our bedroom in the future. Has anyone else done anything similar? Does anyone have any other ideas that may work as well??

kmmssg

I think your plan sounds very lovely as it is.

misssunshine17

I think it sounds nice. Many couples do a version by sending a card/letter prior to the ceremony. I'm writing FI a letter since if I tried to do my own vows, I would ugly cry the whole time. 

missmo14

Thats such a great idea! Im afraid I would get my ugly cry on by reading the letter before the ceremony too.

elizabetheleven

That sounds very sweet. If you don't mind I think I may steal that idea!

Bubbles2014

That sounds lovely, and I might steal the idea!

jcrmc

That sounds lovely

FI and I are not all that *private* and are more jokey - so our ring vows (we are saying the LEGAL vows first, then personal with the rings) are kinda silly but loving, if that makes sense...here are mine:

With this ring,
I promise to love you with my whole heart, every moment of every day

I promise to tell you I love you until your ears ring
I promise to encourage us to try new and strange things
I promise to always let you cook dinner
I promise to talk aloud to myself and to the cat
I promise to resist the urge to tickle you when you are sleeping peacefully
I promise to be sarcastic as often as is necessary
I promise to snuggle you every night, even in the summer when it is sweltering
I promise to make you really, really laugh out loud
I promise to listen to you even when I get *Ooh! Birdie!* distracted
I promise to always want tummy hugs, and to boop your nose
I promise to make inside, geeky jokes every day
I promise to abide by Rules #8, 15, and 23
I promise to lend you strength for all of your dreams
I believe in you
I love you
Now and forever.


For some reason i cant format the copy/paste from Word right...weird...anyway yeah.

[Deleted User]

I think it's lovely because you can say what's really in your hearts in a private moment

ElcaB

Shy friends of mine did photos and private vows prior to the ceremony, in person. They were very happy with their choice! 

KatWAG

jcrmc said:

That sounds lovely

FI and I are not all that *private* and are more jokey - so our ring vows (we are saying the LEGAL vows first, then personal with the rings) are kinda silly but loving, if that makes sense...here are mine:

With this ring,
I promise to love you with my whole heart, every moment of every day

I promise to tell you I love you until your ears ring
I promise to encourage us to try new and strange things
I promise to always let you cook dinner
I promise to talk aloud to myself and to the cat
I promise to resist the urge to tickle you when you are sleeping peacefully
I promise to be sarcastic as often as is necessary
I promise to snuggle you every night, even in the summer when it is sweltering
I promise to make you really, really laugh out loud
I promise to listen to you even when I get *Ooh! Birdie!* distracted
I promise to always want tummy hugs, and to boop your nose
I promise to make inside, geeky jokes every day
I promise to abide by Rules #8, 15, and 23
I promise to lend you strength for all of your dreams
I believe in you
I love you
Now and forever.


For some reason i cant format the copy/paste from Word right...weird...anyway yeah.

This is the reason that I dont like personal vows. There are too many inside/ private jokes that your guests won't get.

Jen4948

KatWAG said:

jcrmc said:

That sounds lovely

FI and I are not all that *private* and are more jokey - so our ring vows (we are saying the LEGAL vows first, then personal with the rings) are kinda silly but loving, if that makes sense...here are mine:

With this ring,
I promise to love you with my whole heart, every moment of every day

I promise to tell you I love you until your ears ring
I promise to encourage us to try new and strange things
I promise to always let you cook dinner
I promise to talk aloud to myself and to the cat
I promise to resist the urge to tickle you when you are sleeping peacefully
I promise to be sarcastic as often as is necessary
I promise to snuggle you every night, even in the summer when it is sweltering
I promise to make you really, really laugh out loud
I promise to listen to you even when I get *Ooh! Birdie!* distracted
I promise to always want tummy hugs, and to boop your nose
I promise to make inside, geeky jokes every day
I promise to abide by Rules #8, 15, and 23
I promise to lend you strength for all of your dreams
I believe in you
I love you
Now and forever.


For some reason i cant format the copy/paste from Word right...weird...anyway yeah.

This is the reason that I dont like personal vows. There are too many inside/ private jokes that your guests won't get.

Me too.  Inside humor and perceived self-cleverness and cutesiness aren't fair to the guests because it's out of context.  I'd save customized vows for when you are in private and just use mainstream vows for the public ceremony.

jcrmc

There are really only 2 inside jokes, and it isnt like we are putting on a show for everyone...we want them to share our special day, but we arent entertaining them until the reception, where they are gonna get an amazing bbq and fun times.

BUT, I did redo them a bit, and the shorter version i like a bit better, as it is more fitting for the rings...

Jen4948

jcrmc said:

There are really only 2 inside jokes, and it isnt like we are putting on a show for everyone...we want them to share our special day, but we arent entertaining them until the reception, where they are gonna get an amazing bbq and fun times.

BUT, I did redo them a bit, and the shorter version i like a bit better, as it is more fitting for the rings...

I'd still omit the inside jokes for the public vow exchange.  Save them for when you are alone together. 

jcrmc

@jen4948 - I did redo them. After reading them over a few more times, they just didnt seem as sincere as I want the moment to be.

With this ring,
I promise to love you with my whole heart, every moment of every day

I promise to tell you I love you until your ears ring
I promise to encourage us to try new and strange things
I promise to trust you when I am unsure
I promise to be the wind in your sails, as well as your anchor
I promise to lend you strength for all of your dreams
I believe in you
I love you
Now and forever.

Anastasia517

jcrmc said:

@jen4948 - I did redo them. After reading them over a few more times, they just didnt seem as sincere as I want the moment to be.

With this ring,
I promise to love you with my whole heart, every moment of every day

I promise to tell you I love you until your ears ring
I promise to encourage us to try new and strange things
I promise to trust you when I am unsure
I promise to be the wind in your sails, as well as your anchor
I promise to lend you strength for all of your dreams
I believe in you
I love you
Now and forever.

I think these are beautiful.  Definitely an improvement!

ashleyep

A lot of churches don't let you change the default vows, so I think exchanging notes before hand is lovely. I think that's what we'll do. Not necessarily frame them as our own vows, but just some nice words to each other the morning of the big day.

thisismynickname2

I just attended a wedding (and had heard of this idea via Pinterest) where the officiant announced that the couple had written each other letters and were going to lock away the letters until either a) they had a fight and wanted to remind each other of their vows or b) reached their five-year anniversary and wanted to toast to their happiness. (I'm likely not explaining it well; it was very lovely.)

I think this is a nice idea and a twist on the private vows- and something really great to look forward to on anniversaries! 

justmekimmie

We planned on doing something pretty similar! Instead of before, we plan on exchanging them afterwards ... plus this way we'll get at least a few minutes alone together before pictures and reception stuff takes over for hours.

Simply Fated

jcrmc said:

@jen4948 - I did redo them. After reading them over a few more times, they just didnt seem as sincere as I want the moment to be.

With this ring,
I promise to love you with my whole heart, every moment of every day

I promise to tell you I love you until your ears ring
I promise to encourage us to try new and strange things
I promise to trust you when I am unsure
I promise to be the wind in your sails, as well as your anchor
I promise to lend you strength for all of your dreams
I believe in you
I love you
Now and forever.

That is incredibly better! I mean, the original version was funny for you guys because you guys would understand the jokes and the stories behind each one. I think you should save the ones you left out to say to each other in private.


thisismynickname for an idea you came across on Pinterest it's not so bad lol!