Pre-wedding Parties

Two showers

Hi everyone,
Our family lives about 2-3 hours away from each other since we met in college. We currently live in NC which is 4 states away from where the wedding is going to take place. My FMIL decided she'd like to host a bridal shower for me in their home town because most of his family wouldn't come to my shower in my home town. I agreed to having two. Here's my issue... I don't know anyone on his side other than two aunts, his brother, grandma, and his dad. Because of the two showers, I am going to feel really out of place since no one will be of my side (planning to invite mom, sis in law and bridesmaids though). I was wondering if there is a way to have my fiance go to the shower that his mom is throwing that way I at least have him there. Plus, it's his family and he never gets to see them. Do people do couples showers? Or should I just ask for an engagement party? Or suck it up and be shy around his family. Also, if we have an engagement party, should I invite his relatives to my other shower? My hometown one is before his though, so it would still be weird.
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Re: Two showers

  • Hi everyone,
    Our family lives about 2-3 hours away from each other since we met in college. We currently live in NC which is 4 states away from where the wedding is going to take place. My FMIL decided she'd like to host a bridal shower for me in their home town because most of his family wouldn't come to my shower in my home town. I agreed to having two. Here's my issue... I don't know anyone on his side other than two aunts, his brother, grandma, and his dad. Because of the two showers, I am going to feel really out of place since no one will be of my side (planning to invite mom, sis in law and bridesmaids though). I was wondering if there is a way to have my fiance go to the shower that his mom is throwing that way I at least have him there. Plus, it's his family and he never gets to see them. Do people do couples showers? Or should I just ask for an engagement party? Or suck it up and be shy around his family. Also, if we have an engagement party, should I invite his relatives to my other shower? My hometown one is before his though, so it would still be weird.

    That's a lot of questions. I'll take them one-by-one.

     I was wondering if there is a way to have my fiance go to the shower that his mom is throwing that way I at least have him there.

    Certainly. You ASK YOUR FI if he will attend with you and help introduce you to his relatives.

    Do people do couples showers?

    Yes, but it doesn't need to be a "couples shower" for your FI to attend. The type of shower (women only or co-ed) is generally up to the hostess and how many guests she can afford to host.

    Or should I just ask for an engagement party?
    You can't ask for an engagement party, sorry. Like showers, engagement parties are a gift, and you can't ask for them.

    Or suck it up and be shy around his family.

    Presumably, you are an adult woman. I'm not very social either, so I get it. But trust me, you can be gracious around your future family for a few hours. Smile, introduce yourself, ask polite questions, answer questions that are asked of you, Smile some more, give compliments, smile, say thank you.

    Also, if we have an engagement party, should I invite his relatives to my other shower?

    Even if MIL chooses to host an engagement party instead, IMHO no one besides bridal party and immediate family (moms, sisters, grandmas) should be invited to multiple gift giving pre-wedding parties.

    MayDay513
  • thanks! My FI is already fine with going to the shower with me. I'll leave it up to my FMIL though if she wants it co-ed or just the females and just ask her if it is okay if my FI joins the festivities with me. I was only planning on double inviting my BMs, MOH and my mom. I honestly don't care if they go to both though, but I would like them at both.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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