Moms and Maids

12 bridesmaids?!? Would that be crazy?!?

I am struggling with making the final decision for my wedding party. I already have 6 people I know I want to ask (my two sisters, my fiance's sister, and three close friends whose weddings I have already been in). My problem is that I have 6 roommates from college that I am still very close with and would like to involve in my ceremony. I would love to have them as bridesmaids, but I dont know if that would just be crazy to have that many!! I know I can involve me in other ways by doing a reading or something but I would like to try to keep those spots open for cousins so I can involve family too. Does anyone have any advice/suggestions?!? I would really appreciate it!!

Re: 12 bridesmaids?!? Would that be crazy?!?

  • Ooops sorry for the typo. I meant to say: "I know I can involve them"
  • It is also an honor to be a guest. Don't give them crap jobs like guestbook attendant or cake-cutter. If you don't want a huge wedding party, you don't have to have one, but the only positions of honor are to be a reader, to be a BM/MOH, or to be a guest.
  • When I read the title of your post I thought, "well, not crazy, but EXPENSIVE and difficult to manage." The fewer people you have, the easier it is to buy gifts for them, get feedback on attire, host a rehearsal dinner, incorporate into a head table, etc.

    It's a huge honor to be a guest. If it's all or none of these 6 college roomies, I'd say none. Weddings are hectic enough - I cannot imagine taking on 12 BMs. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Bubblegum5586jendemeyer
  • MegELuke said:
    I am struggling with making the final decision for my wedding party. I already have 6 people I know I want to ask (my two sisters, my fiance's sister, and three close friends whose weddings I have already been in). My problem is that I have 6 roommates from college that I am still very close with and would like to involve in my ceremony. I would love to have them as bridesmaids, but I dont know if that would just be crazy to have that many!! I know I can involve me in other ways by doing a reading or something but I would like to try to keep those spots open for cousins so I can involve family too. Does anyone have any advice/suggestions?!? I would really appreciate it!!
    I think 12 bridesmaids may make you crazy.
    amcgee07
  • 12 bridesmaids sounds like some really beautiful pictures.  Go for it!!!
    Samanthaveltri
  • arwlodykaarwlodyka member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited August 2013
    Imagine trying to organize a night out with all 12 of these women, if you think it would go completely smoothly, everyone would attend and arrive on time and they would all get along the entire night even at tricky times like when the bill comes then go for it!

    However, if this decision is already giving you pause and you have to ask then I think it's a bad idea. 
    krizzo17
  • Only you can know if they need to be BMs or not...but here are some considerations from a girl with 6 BMs getting married Friday:

    -Gifts will add up. You may have to cut out something else to afford them.
    -Ditto bouquets, even if you DIY.
    -Matching dresses, or even a single agreeable color (other than black) would probably not be possible with 12.
    -My MOH chose to throw me a shower and bachelorette (I am very lucky!) She is one of the lowest-drama people on the planet and did everything right, but still confided some frustrating issues that came up with the other girls who wanted to help plan.

    I'd say envision your wedding-who do you see? Don't force it because you feel they need to be included, but if you'd regret not having them stand with you do what you need to. Good luck.
  • Personally, I think 12 would be a bit insane - both from the cost perspective and from a purely logistical one.
    image
  • I think that 12 is a lot but please keep in mind that I am only having 2!  I think it could make things a little bit complicated down the road in the wedding planning process.  It can be heard to keep 6 ladies together and organized let alone 12 of them.
  • From my personal experience its been hard to organize 6 (now five actually...dramaa) women. Have you thought about including them in the bachelorette party? I have a few more friends who were "almost" on the bridesmaid list, and they were still excited to come out with us/help my moh plan!
  • Every bridal party member brings a line item cost to your wedding budget.  12 bridesmaids means
    the cost of 

    12 bouquets
    12 thank you gifts
    24 seats at your rehearsal dinner (and that's just for your BM's and their dates, that doesn't include any family or your FI's side of the bridal party).

    It you think you can organize them and make it work go for it, but it will take a  chunk of your budget.  Also, for whomever is hosting your RD - will they agree to host such a large one?
  • I have 6 and I feel like that can feel overwhelming at times, and as others have mentioned the gifts add up!!! I have so many close friends that I would have loved to have been a BM but they are still guests and are partaking the the pre-celebration events as well!
    image


    Anniversary
  • kmmssg said:
    Every bridal party member brings a line item cost to your wedding budget.  12 bridesmaids means
    the cost of 

    12 bouquets
    12 thank you gifts
    24 seats at your rehearsal dinner (and that's just for your BM's and their dates, that doesn't include any family or your FI's side of the bridal party).

    It you think you can organize them and make it work go for it, but it will take a  chunk of your budget.  Also, for whomever is hosting your RD - will they agree to host such a large one?
    This.  If you can afford to have 12 BMs, go for it, but costs can really add up.  Each of my BM's bouquets cost $45 (and that is much lower than in some areas), and each of their gifts cost about $30 (again, much lower than some).  In addition, having that many BMs can make things difficult logistically.  For example, it is very unlikely you will all find a time to go BM dress shopping together or that everyone would be able to come to a bachelorette party or shower.  They certainly aren't required to do these things, but many of them may want to, and having so many can make coordinating difficult.
  • Holy cow, I was just thinking about the logistics of getting hair  and makeup for 12 BMs, the bride, and the moms.  How on Earth would you get that done quickly and efficiently?  No thanks.
    [Deleted User]amcgee07
  • agree that 12 would be A LOT of bridesmaids but if you can deal with it then go for it.  As PPs pointed out that will add up and it just seems over the top.  I have seen it done before though, so its ultimately up to you.   I had 5 bridesmaids hands down I wanted to ask, and then was back and forth with some sorority sisters.  end of the day it was the 5 hands down, so that is what I went with. If you are questioning it, I would say go with the 6 you without a doubt want to ask.  My sorority sisters were involved by being guests-- they came to my shower, they came to my bachelorette party and at the wedding I was sure to have a "DG" picture.
    image

    Anniversary
    [Deleted User]
  • I think that would be fine. You don't have to have bouquets, gifts don't have to be outrageous, you don't have to have a rehearsal dinner. Even dates for single BP members is nice but not mandatory. So as far as cost, 12 wouldn't have to be much more than 6. And I see no need to worry about organizing them. They stand next to you on the big day, what else is there to organize them for?
  • My cousin had ten bridesmaids and there was no problem getting all of our hair done along with a few other female family members.  Her parents were/are rich, though, so they had no problem paying for bridesmaid gifts, extra bouquets, etc.

    The problem was that when you have that many girls together, you're going to have personality clashes. Three were the groom's sisters, two of whom didn't like the bride (she didn't like them either but was required to have them in the bridal party), four were college roommates, two were high school friends who I also knew. Everyone was fake nice to each other while the college friends had this whole power struggle going against the high school friends (we were all 22 years old).  Being the MOH for that group was exhausting and my cousin was fed up with people by the time of the wedding.  And even though the wedding was big, there were LOTS of jokes for years about what a circus it was and how "half the guests were in the bridal party."

    I'd recommend keeping it at your first six and make sure that your other friends are invited to the bachelorette party.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards