Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Elope?

My fiance asked me to marry him July 5th. In the short time we have been engaged, I have been losing my mind about our wedding. We have a super tight budget and I am finding it impossible to plan a wedding on our budget. I am seriously considering an elopement. Does anyone have advice on the "correct" way to elope? Do you send out announcements or is that tacky, like we are begging for money? I am lost. PLEASE HELP!

Re: Elope?

  • sigh. I've dreamed about eloping sooooo many times while I'm planning my wedding. What I would do, depending on your budget, is elope then have a "we're married party" It's not a reception, but instead a big party to celebrate the marriage. Food, cake, dancing, drinking. It can be as cheap or as expensive as you'd like.

    If you don't want to throw an after party per say, I would just send out announcements that you got married along with your new address (if you don't already live together)
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • My fiance asked me to marry him July 5th. In the short time we have been engaged, I have been losing my mind about our wedding. We have a super tight budget and I am finding it impossible to plan a wedding on our budget. I am seriously considering an elopement. Does anyone have advice on the "correct" way to elope? Do you send out announcements or is that tacky, like we are begging for money? I am lost. PLEASE HELP!
    First of CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!
    You've been barely engaged for a month. Enjoy it!
    In regards to the budget stuff, no one says you have to have your wedding tomorrow, nor do they say that you have to have all the money upfront today. I am definitely not suggesting you go in debt for a wedding, but you can start saving.

    In the case that you elope, you can just go to the JOP. It is up to you if you want to send announcements. It's ok if you do that.

    However, this does mean in the future you are not entitled to a wedding themed party or more commonly referred to as a PPD (pretty princess day), as you will already be married.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    My fiance asked me to marry him July 5th. In the short time we have been engaged, I have been losing my mind about our wedding. We have a super tight budget and I am finding it impossible to plan a wedding on our budget. I am seriously considering an elopement. Does anyone have advice on the "correct" way to elope? Do you send out announcements or is that tacky, like we are begging for money? I am lost. PLEASE HELP!
    Announcements are sent after the wedding, whether or not it's an elopement.  Sending announcements isn't tacky and doesn't constitute "begging for money."

    That said, if you do elope, you need to consider yourself "married" as of the ceremony you are married at during your elopement, and that means you forfeit a celebration afterward, as well as pre-wedding events, registries, and other typical "wedding" elements.
  • If you elope, know that the boat sails for you do have the big white wedding with the BP, showers and big reception. You can certainly have a celebration party with great food and booze, but it's not a wedding since you'll already be a wife. Many people don't think of this prior to getting married, so just know this. 

    That said, I think if you're already stressed, it could be a good option. What about something in the middle? Parents, grandparents and siblings with a JOP? A couple close friends? Host them after your wedding with cake and coffee in your own home, just make sure it's a non meal time. Get a $99 dress from David's Bridal and hire someone you know who likes taking pictures to take some photos. Get a bouquet from a grocery store and tie some ribbon around it. This sounds like a fabulous, stress free way to start your married life.

    [Deleted User]doeydo
  • sigh. I've dreamed about eloping sooooo many times while I'm planning my wedding. What I would do, depending on your budget, is elope then have a "we're married party" It's not a reception, but instead a big party to celebrate the marriage. Food, cake, dancing, drinking. It can be as cheap or as expensive as you'd like.

    If you don't want to throw an after party per say, I would just send out announcements that you got married along with your new address (if you don't already live together)

    IMO It doesn't solve anything to have a party later. It will still be the same amount of stress. You can easily have a wedding on a cheap budget. DIY, have a BBQ, have it in someone's backyard, invite less people. But if you really want to elope, make sure your husband's on the same page. It's his wedding, too.
  • He hates the idea of a huge wedding anyway. I feel like even if we had 10k to blow on the wedding, we wouldn't. All we want is something small and close and intimate, but all we have been hearing from both of our mothers is "you must invite this person! Must do this, must do that!" I want to marry him no matter how it happens. I am realizing that the rules have changed a lot with weddings. People are straying from cathedrals and reception halls. Everyone's advice has been incredibly helpful. I'm still so up in the air about what is best. I am just afraid that down the road I may regret not having the "traditional" wedding.... So much thinking to do. :)
  • yay for being engaged!!!!!

    If you're already thinking of eloping and you're barely a month in, I say do it.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    He hates the idea of a huge wedding anyway. I feel like even if we had 10k to blow on the wedding, we wouldn't. All we want is something small and close and intimate, but all we have been hearing from both of our mothers is "you must invite this person! Must do this, must do that!" I want to marry him no matter how it happens. I am realizing that the rules have changed a lot with weddings. People are straying from cathedrals and reception halls. Everyone's advice has been incredibly helpful. I'm still so up in the air about what is best. I am just afraid that down the road I may regret not having the "traditional" wedding.... So much thinking to do. :)
    Well the great thing about paying for your own wedding is you don't have to listen to anything that your parents want.  Unless they want to shell out some dough then they don't get a say in how you plan your wedding.  If you want something small and intimate go for it.  You need to do what will make you two happy and that is within budget.  Have the dress you want and invite your close family and friends.  Get married in the church if that is what you want and then have a small backyard reception or a nice dinner at a restaurant or even a cake and punch thing after the ceremony.  

    I would check out the DIY & Budget board to get some great cost saving ideas.  Having a wedding on a limited budget is completely doable.  Just make sure that you and your FI are happy with whatever decision you decide to go with.

    [Deleted User]
  • Congrats on your engagement! Talk to your fiance and decide what is best for you. Before we even got engaged my fiance and I decided to do a family only wedding. (10-14 guests.) Then he is paying to take everyone out to lunch afterwards to celebrate.
    We are having a party about a month later---my parents are throwing us one at the local reception hall. That was a compromise to keep my parents happy. It's going to be dessert only to be cheaper. It will probably have 150-200 people invited.

    My advice is decide if eloping is best or a small wedding. If you guys are paying for it yourselves you have the say in who gets invited. Keep it family only or closest friends or whatever you decide. We chose family only cause it would get hard to figure out the cut-off of who to invite or not otherwise.

    Best of luck with your planning!


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