Where do I start?

StarArly

Hi All.

This is my first post! I've been engaged almost a month now. 

I have no idea where to really start. How do you determine what your budget should be?

I know that I want something small and not extravagant. Preferably outdoors and I say I will have somewhere between 50 to 60 guests. 

I live in Miami but I am open to doing something in the Keys. 

Savoy22

I would say that you determine your budget by who will be contributing (parents, grandparents, just yourselves, etc) and how much money you're comfortable with spending. There's no right or wrong answer when it comes down to it. You will be able to find numerous of alternatives to fit your budget as you start researching. A lot of brides save money w/ DIY aspects, which can also personalize your wedding even more.

After deciding (w/ your fiance, of course! lol) what the budget will be, then I would say that the next thing would be securing a venue and a date. This helps you set a timeline of when things (i.e. securing vendors, sending out invitations, buying a dress, etc) need to be finished. HTH & good luck!

slgirl21

Congrats!!! Like the statement above, talk it over with your fiancé and parents  see if they will be helping you with the wedding. Once the budget is set, then you can discuss on the date of the wedding, decide if you want a fall, spring , winter or summer wedding, I know for me summer time was OUT due to hurricane session and march was out for me because there is a lot going on in March between birthdays and other weddings that were held so , my fiancé was like how about april 12...and I was like Ok. Once you have those two set in stone, then you can start researching what kind of wedding you want, indoors outdoors, etc. GL this board is very helpful.

PriscyScraps

Congratulations!! I also agree with previous posts about setting a budget BUT don't count on your parents or in-laws. Think Jerry McGuire "Show Me The Money." Until youhave that money in your bank account, that money doesn't exist. I'm in a FB September Brides group, and I have heard a few stories of parents, in-laws, siblings, etc promising money to pull out at the end. So set a budget that you and your FI are comfortable with. Good luck!!

d2va

slgirl21

You should never talk with your parents and ask them if they will be contributing, its a bit rude, and you put them on the spot.

If they want to contribute they will offer. 

Meggis

We started by making our dream guest list, and asked both sets of parents to do the same.  We made a lot of cuts and some additions along the way.  Then we came up with a budget that we were comfortable with and made a few more cuts from the guest list.  It is NOT rude to have a conversation with your parents and/or his to see if they will be contributing, but be prepared for the answer to be no.  If your parents (or his) will be contributing, be respectful of the amount they are able to (or want to) give.  Remember, you probably don't like people telling you how to spend your money, so you can't judge how other spend theirs.  PriscyScraps suggestion about not counting on promised money until it is in hand is very good advice.  It is so easy to get carried away in the planning and the "I want to do this, and this, and this, and this, and this..." of it all.  

Also, realize that with every decision you make you can probably make one that is more expensive or one that is less expensive. You just have to decide what is right for you and your FI.  I originally wanted a wedding at a beach hotel and ultimately decided against it.  The hotel we decided on (The Westin off 95 & Cypress in Brow. County) is almost HALF per plate and the room rate for my out of town guests, which is about 70% of my attendees, is over $50.00 cheaper than my original hotel.  I don't feel like I settled, but I feel like I made the right decision.  This freed up money in our budget that allowed me to splurge on a major surprise for my FI (a cigar bar!!!  I am so excited.).

We are 6 weeks from our wedding, and the one thing last thing I will say is to go with your instincts.  If you don't like a vendor when you meet them, go with someone else.  You will just know when it is the right decision for you and your FI.

Congrats on your engagement!

Keep the planning fun!

P.S. - @d2va - You were completely rude to @slgirl21.  It is NOT RUDE to ask IF they will be helping.  It is rude to expect them to and be upset if the answer is no.  Your comment was out of line.  These boards are supposed to be fun, a place for ideas, to share excitements, etc.  There is no need for divaish comments.  @StarArly deserves to be able to post and share her excitement without you tarnishing it.  Your comment is kinda like someone standing up when the priest asks if anyone objects.  

StarArly

Thank you all for your advice! It has helped me organize my thoughts in the midst of all the excitement.

d2va

Meggis  - Apparently you have no idea what ETIQUETTE is. I did not mean to be rude to @slgirl21 but if I know that someone is going to do something bad, why would I not educate them, and tell them why its bad and then tell them not to do it.

 

It is EXTREMELY rude to ask your parents, your grandparents, your aunts , uncles etc to pay for your wedding. Not only do you put those people on the spot, but you come off as immature, and self centered that you think that they would.

 

My comment was not out of line at all, as her parents clearly know that there will be a wedding, and if they can and want to offer they will, and the OP can graciously accept or decline.

 

Please do NOT go around telling people bad advice, and then bashing the people who maybe say it bluntly, but give the correct advice on a specific matter.

My post - which was a reply to someone else in the thread, because OPs parents could be either deeply offended that she asks, or maybe they don't have the extra 20k to spend on a wedding, and then will feel like complete shit because their daughter cant have her dream wedding.

 

@stararly I didn't put any advice, only corrected the bad etiquette that could have been a disaster. I believed that the PPs gave solid advice, and I felt that maybe you would not know that it was in bad taste to ask

Anyways,

 

Guest List
Budget
Venue

are the first 3 and most important things in my honest opinion.

 

Meggis

@ d2va - just the response I expected from you.  Hope your planning is fun and stress-free.  

d2va

@meggis lol at you trying to stalk me to find out "bad" things about me.

 

The response I gave is the right one. If you would like you can create a thread in the Etiquette board and ask yourself. I figure though, because you felt the need to dig up some "dirt" on me (lol) that you feel dumb as fuck for trying to give BAD ADVICE on whether to ask your parents to pay for your wedding.

 

FYI - My wedding planning has just begun, if you saw my latest post, Im pretty much done planning as far as big stuff. So I would say that wedding planning is going pretty fucking good.

 

Maybe this time youll shut your mouth when you don't even know the RIGHT thing to do, instead of picking fights with people who know.

 

kthnzbai