Christian Weddings

Not the support I expected, any suggestions?

So my FH and I have been together for about a year, and we are meant to be. I knew that I would marry him the first day I met him. We are two very christian, very happy and very in love individuals. The ONLY problem is MY unsupportive family. Every family member I tell about my wedding keeps insisting that we are getting married too soon. On the other hand FH family has been the backbone and support system to my wedding and my church is also 100% supportive. But it really does hurt that everyone on my side has nothing but negative things to say, cant they just congratulate me and be happy for me? Can't they see how happy we are and how much love we have for each other?

With their approval or not I am still going to have a beautiful, blessed wedding.

What should I do? I am tired if explaining how  in love and happy I am. ( Also we are getting married 3 months post proposal. Like as said as christians we dont live together yet and we are dying to start our happy lives together and see what God has in store for us.The "quickness of our wedding is my pessimistic families main concern... and NO im not pregnant. WE are saving ourselves for marriage)

Re: Not the support I expected, any suggestions?

  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2013
    Just a few thoughts:
    How old are you?  How old is your fiance?
    In your family, at what age do women usually get married?
    Are most in your family Christ-followers, or are you one of a few/the only?

    Going against a "norm" or "usual" for religious reasons is one of the things that makes people antsy.  

    DH and I were engaged a year after dating, but we had a 16 month engagement thanks to school.  We also waited until marriage, didn't live together at all, and were 1,100 miles apart the last 4 months of our engagement because he got a full-time job in Kansas and I was finishing up my undergrad in Virginia.

    He was the first person I had dated since high school (I was 21 when we met--24 when we got married) but one of my aunts tried to make a case for waiting to get married, maybe even wait to get engaged, see what's out there, start your career, etc, etc, etc.  We ignored her, but some of your family might just want to make SURE you're sure about this--"better to find out now than later," mentality, especially with such a short engagement.
    [Deleted User]
  • ditto pp.  However, since you've been together about a year, I'm not too worried about a short engagement other than planning everything that quickly.  My aunt did it, but she got married back in the 80s.

    Are you still in school?  I would understand their concern if you haven't finished college yet.  However, I'm going to guess that you're either the oldest or an only child and your parents aren't ready to let you go.  Ask if they have any specific concerns so you can address them to alleviate their fears.  WHY do they think it's too soon?  It could be that a family member got married to fast to the wrong guy and it ended badly, so they're overly cautious now.  who knows.

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  • ochemjenn said:

    ditto pp.  However, since you've been together about a year, I'm not too worried about a short engagement other than planning everything that quickly.  My aunt did it, but she got married back in the 80s.

    Truuuuuue story.  Even with 16 months, some of the venues on our list were already booked...and time freakin' FLIES, especially if you're in school and not near the location of your wedding all the time to make appointments, etc. :-P
  • @spodhajser I hope you come back and answer all of the questions PPs asked... I'm also curious for those answers.
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