Cocktail reception only...but half the family doesn't drink?

brandezzlle

My fiance and I want a cocktail only reception. Mainly because our budget won't accommodate our huge family but, also because we want people to mingle and have fun and not just sit and eat.

My question for you all is, what do I do when a big portion of my fiance's family doesn't drink or dance? My family loves the idea because we love to have fun and don't mind a drink or two. We wanted to have the wedding later in the evening after dinner and have the reception follow...but now I'm worried that the family that doesn't drink won't attend the reception and possibly even the wedding if it's too late in the day!

Any ideas on how to work around this or does anyone have ANY input on any part of this issue?

Thanks so much lovelies!

LondonLisa

Does your Fi's family prefer not to drink and dance themselves, or do they not like to be around drinking and dancing at all? There is obviously a big difference here. I have friends who do not drink and are not big dancers, but would have not problem being around people who were drunk and dancing. If your Fi's family is the latter, you may need to rethink your reception ideas.

If you do not want to serve a meal, there are two ways you could go:
1.) throw a dessert reception (I would avoid the phrase "cocktail reception" if there are a significant amount of nondrinkers who may be offended) in the evening. This means the ceremony will need to start after 9pm to get away with not serving a meal. This could have really nice non-alcoholic options like a hot chocolate bar, spiced cider, various flavours of lemonade or iced tea. Also, you could have a variety of nice desserts, as well as a few savoury things, such as cheeses and crackers.
2.) have an afternoon reception with cake and non-alcoholic punch. Ceremony would need to start at 2pm and the whole event be over by 5/6

In both of these cases, you could have cocktails served as well. If money is an issue, hosted beer and wine only is perfectly acceptable.

If I were in your shoes, I would do an afternoon wedding, with cake and punch reception. People would tend to not drink as much in the afternoon. You could have the first dance, cut the cake, mingle with Fi's family. Fi's family will likely leave at the end of this.  Afterwards, have a more informal "after party" in which you envisage, with drinking and dancing. Although please be aware that you should provide food. This really doesn't  need to be expensive. Maybe just order in a bunch of pizzas. This way, you could potentially get the best of both worlds.

I had a friend that did this, as alcohol was not allowed in her church and some family members were staunch non-drinkers. She had a lovely afternoon dry reception with passed HD, cake and punch. They had their first dance, father-daughter dance etc. They did a send-off around 5. All the non-drinkers and elderly family left at this point. The couple spread the word informally to head to this one BBQ bar/restaurant afterwards. They had reserved a section and ordered platters of pulled pork and ribs and hosted beer and wine. She still rocked her dress, we all danced and had a great time (and didn't cost that much at all!).

itzMS

brandezzlle said:

My fiance and I want a cocktail only reception. Mainly because our budget won't accommodate our huge family but, also because we want people to mingle and have fun and not just sit and eat.

My question for you all is, what do I do when a big portion of my fiance's family doesn't drink or dance? My family loves the idea because we love to have fun and don't mind a drink or two. We wanted to have the wedding later in the evening after dinner and have the reception follow...but now I'm worried that the family that doesn't drink won't attend the reception and possibly even the wedding if it's too late in the day!

Any ideas on how to work around this or does anyone have ANY input on any part of this issue?

Thanks so much lovelies!

If you are serving alcohol, you really also need to have some sort of food...no matter what time of day. Hot and cold appetizers, desserts, cheese trays, fruit trays, etc.

This can end up being more pricey than a sit-down dinner.

So I agree 100% with the pp, that if you are trying to save money, go with an afternoon reception.

Also, don't build your reception around people "having fun and mingling". If you have plenty of food and drink, people will have fun.

 

 

Jen4948

Well, first of all, regardless of what kind of reception you have, make sure non-alcoholic drinks are available.

Also, you really can't control what your FI's family does.  Nor can they control the reception if they're not paying.  And even if they are, you are entitled to serve drinks and have dancing if you want.  They are entitled to not stick around for that. 

That said, I think either a cocktail or a cake-and-punch reception is fine, if there's enough food and drinks (non-alcoholic) for everyone.

doeydo

Make sure there are non-alcoholic drinks (water, juice, and/or pop) as well as light food.  You could also have a "dessert reception".  I doubt your guests who don't drink won't come just because there will be other guests drinking.

Dreamergirl8812

brandezzlle said:

My fiance and I want a cocktail only reception. Mainly because our budget won't accommodate our huge family but, also because we want people to mingle and have fun and not just sit and eat.

My question for you all is, what do I do when a big portion of my fiance's family doesn't drink or dance? My family loves the idea because we love to have fun and don't mind a drink or two. We wanted to have the wedding later in the evening after dinner and have the reception follow...but now I'm worried that the family that doesn't drink won't attend the reception and possibly even the wedding if it's too late in the day!

Any ideas on how to work around this or does anyone have ANY input on any part of this issue?

Thanks so much lovelies!

1st highlighted: That is really obnoxious. You don't want to give the most important people in your world the option of food because you decided they should get up and socialize?

2nd highlighted: Good idea to have it late/after dinner time. But you still have to have something to put in their stomachs (and to thank them for coming to your wedding).

ETA: But yeah, if I didn't drink I wouldn't go to your wedding just to sit (or stand?) somewhere with a glass of soda watching people drink and dance.

SP29

Broaden your "drink" menu to include non-alcoholic drinks. Pop, water, juice, tea, and coffee at the least, but I love the idea of a hot chocolate, punch, and cider "bars". 

As well, include some sort of food options. No you don't need a sit down meal, but something- hot/cold apps, pizza squares, veggie tray, fruit tray, meat tray, cheese and cracker tray. 

I don't know the best way to call it. If I was not a drinker I would not be offended or decline something that said "Ceremony followed by a cocktail reception at..." because I would assume there would be some food and non-alcoholic drinks available. Carry on with any other reception traditions/events as you wish. 

What would the family do at a "standard" reception anyway, come for dinner and leave right when it's done (often within 2-3 hours of the start)? As long as they are also hosted properly I see no reason why they would leave a cocktail reception early, unless they would leave a dinner reception early too. 

Grabows14

I agree with PPs, you need to offer some appetizers or desserts because a) it's polite and b) people will leave and/or complain when they are hungry (you shouldn't be sending hungry people home). I think if you have cocktail only that will be fine. If your FIs family doesn't drink any cocktails, then they don't drink any cocktails. Make sure they have something non-alcoholic to drink. Edit: add advice