Location. Location. Location.

MrsJeddy

I am extremely green to the engagement scene. I recently became engaged on Christmas of last year. My fiance and I aren't rich by any means and I am very set on having things my way; not in a bridezilla way. However, I do have ideas for my wedding that I want realized. I am very much into the vintage style; classic & elegant. I love everything and anything that can truely be our own for our ceremony. The more custom - the better. I am the artsy fartsy type. I often find myself making gifts rather than buying them. What better gift then one made especially for that individual. That's how I am going to attack my wedding.
My fiance and I met racing BMX at a track owned by his parents in the desert area. I am absolutely in love with the desert; plant life, wildlife, lifestyle, weather. I love it all. After I finish school and we are married we plan to move back out to the desert area.
My actual question is: I am planning on (what I think to be) a non-traditional wedding. I am doing this with a very minimal budget and would still like to retain my money and the elegance of a wedding at the same time. I plan on being married outdoors somewhere in the desert. Not in a venue or resort. Not only is this option usually free, it fits my requirement of unique and personal. Is this O.K. to do wedding etiquette & legal wise? I want to keep it as small as possible as well... Where can you draw the line in a guest list? Is it impersonal or rude to invite people to a ceremony and not have a reception or rehearsal dinner? These are a few questions that I have been battling with in the last week and a half. Any advice, facts & suggestions on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
the future Mrs. Jeddy

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_location-location-location-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3321276d-0dee-4b9f-a2dc-aaf763f4e1a0Post:b47c38d3-32cd-4228-9746-b30034616038">Re: Location. Location. Location.</a>:
[QUOTE]You can be married anywhere that it is legal for you to be married.  Usually you need a bride, a groom, an officiant, a license, and a witness.  Rules vary by state. If you invite guests to your ceremony, you are obligated to provide refreshment for them in the form of a reception.  This can be as simple as cake and punch, or include open bar, full sit down dinner, dancing, and partying until the wee hours.  It is up to you. I think you need to keep your guests comfort in mind.  You need to have a place for everybody to sit down during your ceremony.  You also need to think about sanitary issues.  If you are out in the desert, this means a porta-potty. Personally, if I had to drive a long way into the desert for a wedding, I would be disappointed to be only served cake and punch.  Think about what is best for your guests.  Don't forget desert dust storms, either.  (I live in western CO!)
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>CMGr is wise.  </div><div>
</div><div>You can do a wedding however you want, and you can let your vision be your guide.  The Offbeat Brides, Outdoor Weddings, and Budget Brides boards might be really helpful for you, and Google might have lots of fun pictures to provide some more inspirtation (if you need any!).</div><div>
</div><div>You should definitely consider your guests' comfort.  Outdoor weddings should ALWAYS have a Plan B, which could mean waiting until another time (not ideal if you have people coming in from out of town), or an indoor location.   Rain isn't the only issue -- you should also consider temperature.  60-80 is ideal, anything hotter or colder may be uncomfortable, but still work-able if you take it into consideration -- provide warm drinks or blankets if it's cold, or cool drinks and fans and a shady place to wait if it's warm.   </div><div>
</div><div>Porta-potties might be necessary depending on the length of time people are outside, but keep in mind there are some stunning portable restrooms with running water, sinks, toilets, etc, and prices vary by location.</div><div>
</div><div>Definitely have a seat for every butt.  You could rent chairs or benches, or do something more fun like blanket-covered hay bales.</div><div>
</div><div>As for a reception, you do need to have something, but it doesn't have to be "traditional."  If your reception falls during a meal-time, you should provide enough food to consitute a meal.  Otherwise, you could do cake and punch or apps or whatever.  You could see about getting your favorite restaurant to cater, and you can be creative with alcohol to keep your costs down (beer and wine only, dry wedding, signature drink, etc).   The only guideline is that you should NOT ask guests to bring any food (no potluck!) and you shold not ask them to pay any money out-of-pocket (no cash bars!).  

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calliopeia2013

I think a desert wedding sounds absolutely beautiful.

A few things to think about legal-wise: I'm an east coaster, so I don't know much about who owns the majority of the land out your way, but obviously make sure you're not on someone else's private property.  I know here if you want to get married on federally owned land (national parks, etc.) you have to pay a nominal fee (I think it's like $50; not substantial), but there are also a bunch of restrictions on what you can and can't do- certain places you have to be, can't leave rice or confetti lying around, that sort of thing.  Obviously if you have family/friends who own property out in the desert (sounds like maybe your fiance's parents do?), it's not a big deal and you can go with whatever you want.  Also make sure you've done all of the legal things required for a valid marriage, obviously- marriage license, officiant licensed to perform weddings in your state, etc.  Just because you're not getting married at a traditional venue doesn't mean you can skip that. 

You can have as big or small a guest list as you want, but etiquette dictates that anyone invited to the ceremony should be invited to a reception- but that reception can be as simple as cake and punch.  Doesn't have to be fancy.  Rehearsal dinners aren't necessary, though. 

And, like I said, I'm an east coaster, so I don't know much about the weather out there, but be considerate towards your guests.  Make sure there are bathrooms available, pick a time of year that's weather-appropriate for an outdoor wedding, have bottles of water, sunshades, and chairs on hand, that sort of thing.  Maybe have handheld fans available if it's going to be hot. 

MrsJeddy

Thank you all so much for your feedback.
The location I was thinking of is relatively remote. I think that was part of it's appeal. I have almost 2 years to think about it and I may change my mind in the mean time. But for now, my heart is set in desert in October. Unfortunately, October in the desert is usually still substantially warm. Another option would be on our dating anniversary in February, when the weather is cooler. My problem with that is that February already possesses special days; our dating anni, Valentine's Day & my finace's birthday. I wanted October for the season, and emptiness of the month. No conflicting dates with other special occasions; other than our favorite holiday, Halloween.
This location in particular has no actual restrooms, no side walks so as far as comfort it's not the most ideal and traditional wedding setting, although, it has the most beautiful scenery and landscape...

ginadog

Here's a cool desert wedding in Joshua Tree:
http://greenweddingshoes.com/a-joshua-tree-elopement-kim-mike/

calliopeia2013

Actually, having just pulled up October weather in Joshua Tree (which I assume would be fairly close to you if you're in Southern California?), it looks like it typically ranges between 55-85, with averages right around 70.  That sounds pretty reasonable to me. 

I also wouldn't worry too much about comfort if you're only having a few guests; I've been to standing outdoor weddings before and it was fine, as long as people who really needed seats (grandparents, people with disabilities, etc.) had them.   And there are always ways to get bathroom access in remote locations. 

calliopeia2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_location-location-location-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:3321276d-0dee-4b9f-a2dc-aaf763f4e1a0Post:1df6ce8d-1b95-4282-85cd-c8ce245034fc">Re: Location. Location. Location.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Location. Location. Location. : You have obviously never been in the desert.  There are hundreds of square miles with NOTHING.  No buildings, no trees...nothing!
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

You can get port-a-potties brought in to almost anywhere- even really remote locations.  It might be expensive, though.  But as long as there are roads kinda nearby, it's possible.