Bachelorette Party Help!!

EtherealGirl16

So I am the Maid of Honor in my best friend's wedding, and I couldn't be happier she chose me. At first. At first everything was was going well and people were getting along and there were no issues what so ever. Let's emphasize again AT FIRST. Over the past few months while the bride and I have worked together on what she wants for celebrations and themes, and how she ultimately wants to be surprised-  I've tried to work that out the details with the other maids. I got budgets WAY ahead of time( learned from the distressed advice from other former bridesmaids), tried to keep open communication and constant flow of ideas going, and offered each girl the chance to speak with me personally regarding any issues. It was going well till about June, when we really started to have to plan the Bachelorette party. I've had the bride's sister b**ch about every suggestion to her mom, who then complains to the bride. Another ( who happens to be a good friend) send the bride a random card in the mail saying she couldn't afford to get her hair done, so she might have to back out- only to in the end blame me and the bachelorette party planning for her distress instead. I was lucky the other maids called her out to the bride on her incorrect bulls**t. And finally a third who doesn't reply to ANYTHING. There is a fourth girl, whom a must mention, for she is my sanity for her kindness and is also not going on the trip due to pregnancy.  But writing because I am desperate. I don't know what to do. The bride wants a weekend getaway, which shouldn't be an issue- but I'm lost in doing the whole thing myself. I've been writing to online travel agents, but with no luck.   The wedding isn't until April, but we need the bachelorette party booked by the end of August, because the sister and the card sending friend go back to undergrad, and PA school, and the money complains will be higher. Which I understand, because I have one too. We need to keep a weekend under $300. I check groupon, living social, and travel zoo regularly. Does anyone have any tips or great sites to plan with? Great affordable trips on the east coast for March? Thank you!!!

Maggie0829

Ok, just because the bride may want a weekend getaway for her bach party does not mean that she automatically gets it.  A weekend getaway for under $300 total is probably not doable.  Why don't you and any one else that wants to help (remember not all the BMs have to be involved in the planning) brainstorm and try and think of something nice and within your budget to do for the bride.  I also don't understand brides requesting to be surprised.  Asking for a surprise pretty much takes the surprise out of it don't you think?

But just remember this.  Just because you are all gung ho about planning stuff does not mean everyone else will be to.  Just ask who wants input (and their budget) and then go from there.  If the other girls who don't want to help continue to bitch and complain well they can either then not go or just suck it up.

Simply Fated

I understand that the bride wants a weekend trip, but you can't always get what you wants. And if the bride isn't paying, which traditionally they don't, then she doesn't get that much of a say on how other people spend their money on her.

$300 total or per person? Start cutting corners. Instead of a weekend getaway, what about going away just for one night? Or a day trip somewhere? Where on the east coast are you?

You have everyone's budget for the bach party, right? Just plan something under their budget and leave it at that.

MayDay513

EtherealGirl16 said:

So I am the Maid of Honor in my best friend's wedding, and I couldn't be happier she chose me. At first. At first everything was was going well and people were getting along and there were no issues what so ever. Let's emphasize again AT FIRST. Over the past few months while the bride and I have worked together on what she wants for celebrations and themes, and how she ultimately wants to be surprised-  I've tried to work that out the details with the other maids. I got budgets WAY ahead of time( learned from the distressed advice from other former bridesmaids), tried to keep open communication and constant flow of ideas going, and offered each girl the chance to speak with me personally regarding any issues. It was going well till about June, when we really started to have to plan the Bachelorette party. I've had the bride's sister b**ch about every suggestion to her mom, who then complains to the bride. Another ( who happens to be a good friend) send the bride a random card in the mail saying she couldn't afford to get her hair done, so she might have to back out- only to in the end blame me and the bachelorette party planning for her distress instead. I was lucky the other maids called her out to the bride on her incorrect bulls**t. And finally a third who doesn't reply to ANYTHING. There is a fourth girl, whom a must mention, for she is my sanity for her kindness and is also not going on the trip due to pregnancy.  But writing because I am desperate. I don't know what to do. The bride wants a weekend getaway, which shouldn't be an issue- but I'm lost in doing the whole thing myself. I've been writing to online travel agents, but with no luck.   The wedding isn't until April, but we need the bachelorette party booked by the end of August, because the sister and the card sending friend go back to undergrad, and PA school, and the money complains will be higher. Which I understand, because I have one too. We need to keep a weekend under $300. I check groupon, living social, and travel zoo regularly. Does anyone have any tips or great sites to plan with? Great affordable trips on the east coast for March? Thank you!!!

Can you gals just got a hotel in the city and stay over night and do an adventure day? Just because the bride wants a getaway does not mean a bride gets a getaway. Livingsocial also has some. I would recommend staying with in budget. I don't understand why it has to booked by August, I get that they go back to school, but it's not hard to send invites from anywhere on earth. Honestly, the best groupons/living socials are like last minute things.

Also it sounds like you guys will also need two rooms with the number of girls. Is that $300 total including food and drinks and transportation for the whole weekend?

astimmel

Do you mean under $300 per person or total? How far away is this weekend getaway that you need to be calling travel agents?? It would be nice if you could give the bride her dream bachelorette party, but under no circumstance should you go broke to do it. I just used Yelp to look up hotels, restaurants and bars. I spent hours narrowing the choices down and looking at the reviews and pros and cons of each one.

I was in a similar situation and I eventually said fuck it and did the whole thing myself without telling them my plans. If they weren't going to respond or contribute ideas, then they don't get to be involved. Since I was doing it myself the night had to be low-key. We got a nice hotel and the other girls each agreed to pay me an equal share for the room, but I covered everything else myself. We just spent the night downtown, had dinner and bar-crawled back to the hotel, so it was about $300 for me (dinner for me & bride, taxi, drinks, club covers, little mementos for all the girls). If you can afford it, I'd recommend doing that.

Although these girls sound like the might not be so cooperative...good luck!

ETA:  The bride (and everyone else) had a blast even though we kept it local.

Emmy1493

Honestly, if all of you ladies are on a tight budget, the Bride should, and probably will understand this. Why not get a hotel room for a night, get some fun party games (There are so many DIY ones on Pinterest, and pretty much any wedding website..) and if you can, get some drinks and just hang out, talk and play games. It doesn't have to be a huge, expensive bash. Contact the others and see if that's something they would be interested in. I am not sure what hotels cost in your area, but if you get a great deal online, which you normally always can, try that route. Hope this helps!

Bubblegum5586

How far away does this getaway need to be?

I just got back from my bachelorette the my girls threw me and it was AMAZING!!! We live in Central MA and went down to Providence RI. That was plenty far for me (about an hr away).

Now I don't know exactly what is costs, but I do know they asked $65 for the hotel (some girls stayed two nights!) and we stayed at the beautiful Biltmore Hotel!

The first night we stayed in and played games, the next day went to the beach, then that night went to dinner then a bar and danced the rest of the night!

Again it was AMAZING. The best parts were the thoughtful parts, like they made a jeopardy game for me to play before going out Saturday night. They had asked FI all these questions ahead of time and then I had to answer. If I got the answer wrong I had to drink (or jello shot or shot depending on how much the question was worth) and if I got it right the person reading the question had to drink! It clearly took time to make that game and to collect answers! They also themed the night as a White Tiger Night called "Leah's Last Prowl" everyone wore black and white and we all had on cat/ tiger ears we wore all night. Mine were white with a little veil and they all wore black. They decorated the room in all my childhood white tiger stuffed animals (they did this theme because I was obsessed as a child) so unique and so me and sooooo thoughtful!

I guess what I am saying is, don't stress about how far you ago, thoughtful details are the most touching part!